Some Days it Just Doesn't Pay....

Let me set the scene:

I had not been able to figure out why I had been so tired, until Kim reminded me about Hibernation Syndrome.  The definition:

Hibernation syndrome

Two to four weeks after surgery, your body reacts to the smaller amount of food. You feel tired, lethargic and often depressed. Your body wants to slow down until the old food supply returns.

The best way to deal with this is to recognize the symptoms and know they are normal. Start to exercise so your body gets used to using body fat as a source of energy.

When your body adjusts, the hibernation syndrome will end. This may take six to eight weeks.

I am so there right now.

Scenario 1:

The church "Volunteer" came in today for no apparent reason other than to annoy me.  Seriously.  I had told her yesterday that we were going away next week and she didn't seem to have any qualms about it.  But today she comes in all in a tizzy about needing to get to me by Friday who the altar flowers are for for May 18th.  See, nobody fills in for me when I am away.  The work has to be done early and that is generally not a big deal, unless you are The Volunteer (ie, sixty something year old pessamistic woman who hates change).  She then goes on to say that when SHE did the bulletin (she is still bitter that the bulletin was taken away from her and given to me, the actual secretary of the church.  She used to do it on her typewriter, which was fine, until computers were invented.) she never had to do one early because she never had SURGERY (a direct knock to me) that caused her to miss time and that when she and her late husband would go on vacation, she would always be back by Friday to do the bulletin for Sunday because SHE felt the bulletin was a committment.  Translation: I can apparently never have a whole week off by her standards, despite the fact that I have three weeks vacation time.  She then said, "Well, you don't even seem worried about it!"  I explained that I wasn't worried about it because I already had the bulletins for the 11th and the 18th finished and if there were any additional announcements, someone could give them verbally.  She still went onto to blather about how the 18th was such an important Sunday (the day we vote on a new pastor) and it wouldn't be fair to make the retired pastor who was officiating the service give announcements (Hello? Retired pastor!  I'm betting he's done last minute announcements before).  I elected not to say anything lest I say something I might regret later.

Scenario 2:

I had been dreading telling my mother about Florida for two reasons.  One, we would be gone for Mother's Day and two, my brother and sister in law had called to tell my mom they were coming to visit next week.  The Brit and I had two possible weeks to chose from to go to Florida when his parents were there.  One is next week and the other would have been the following week.  Going the following week meant both of us being gone from work all week and then getting back and two days later, The Brit had his surgery.  It gave neither of us time to catch up at work after already being off for a week and it would mean he would miss three consecutive weeks of work.  The first week was a total no-brainer.  We haven't been to Florida in about four years and with Hibernation Syndrome going on for me, I am desperate for a break to just relax and sleep in a bit and try to nurse my body through this part of the process.  It was just appealing the whole way around for me.

So, I finally call mom and tell her that I can be her Show and Tell for her TOPS group Friday night and then I said, "And now I'm going to piss you off and I'm sorry."  I told her about going away and she told me she was not pissed off at all.  I was pleasantly surprised and we made plans to meet after I got off work to go to the thrift store and to The Walmart.  We met up and went second hand shopping and I found about 6 shirts to the tune of $20 which I thought was awesome.  We left there and got back in the car and out of nowhere, she says "I can't believe you picked next week to go away with your brother coming and it being Mother's Day."

So, I re-explained all I just explained to all of you about why we are going next week.  I actually felt a bit better going next week BECAUSE my brother will be here to spend time with her while I'm away.  I adore my brother and my sister-in-law and am sorry we are going to miss them, but we were deliberating which week to go to Florida when we found out they were coming.  I am very sad we will miss their visit, but on the same token, my body needs the break of getting away right now.  It needs to not be up at 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning to get kids off to school and it needs to not be at work where The Volunteer can try my patience at a very trying time at the moment.  I need to get over this hump and I know that once I do, this is all going to become so GOOD.  So my going away is not about visiting siblings, or missing Mother's Day (and she will get her gift before we go).  It's about me right now needing to feel better and The Brit getting to spend time with his parents and to have some fun before his surgery.  That's all it's about.  I didn't do it to offend or piss off anyone.  It was an opportunity and I took it.  As simple as that.

And with that being said, I still think I should have just stayed in bed this morning.

No use crying over chocolate milk?

So, we  have milk delivered.  Really.  It is delivered in bottles even and it comes on Monday.  Now my youngest son has this trick of when the chocolate syrup is about empty, he will pour some of the milk into the Hershey bottle to use up the last of the chocolate and to give himself a bit of chocolate milk.  Today, he elected to do this and he carried the milk out back where his friend Lilah was and he asked Lilah to pour some milk into the Hershey container.  Well, Lilah got confused and instead poured the Hersheys into the new bottle of milk.  That will go over well for cereal in the morning.

Anyway, we are leaving for Florida on Saturday...early Saturday.  Like flight leaves at 8:55am Saturday.  Not sure yet what that means in terms of waking up time, but let's not think about that yet.  We'll be coming back the following Saturday, in time to hear our perspective pastor preach, which I did not want to miss.  This leaves me with a bit of a clothing dilemna.  I usually buy some spring clothes but did not this year due to the whole weight falling off me at the moment thing.  But, I lack in decent summer shirts right now, so I think I may make a trip to the second hand store to see what they have.  I can't bring myself to buy anything new in my current size as it would just be silly.  At nearly twenty pounds gone forever, I haven't yet dropped a size though things are getting looser.  

Then there will be the whole eating thing while on vacation.  I've kind of sworn off pureed foods for the moment, opting instead to go with soft foods and "pureeing them in my mouth" as in chewing really, really good.   I'm going to make egg salad tonight and figure I can make that in Florida too.  So far, I am tolerating everything, aka, no dumping.  As soon as the pouch tells me it's full, I stop.  I'm not arguing with it. 

But all in all, I am looking forward to week of relaxation before we delve into the Brit's surgery.  Though I may need a separate suitcase to pack all my pills!

10,000

We just hit 10,000 visitors!  How exciting!!

Baaaaaa

Today was a good day.

I did however, give up on the protein shakes after mixing up one this morning with the "non-flavored" (yeah right) powder and like half a bag of frozen peaches to have the stupid thing taste and smell like "non-flavored" protein powder.  I mixed up a Carnation Instant Breakfast and hit the road.

Sunday is the day to go to Maryland Sheep and Wool (MDSW) because this morning it was not crowded at all.  We have always gone on Saturday before and it is packed from the word "Go" but this morning was great!  We got through the busiest building before the church crowd hit which left us with only the smaller buildings to go through once the place was busier.  I bought a show sweatshirt and a tshirt, both in sizes too small for me now, but I'm thinking by the time it is cool enough to wear that sweatshirt...   Woot!  Bought myself a vest pattern and the yarn to go with it, again smaller size but as I am the slowest knitter ever, wearing it when it is finished will not be a problem!

But had a great day with Kelly and Shelley and we even ran into Lisa who was on her way back from a wedding in New Jersey.  The weather was perfect; not hot and a lovely breeze blowing.  A perfect day.

Eating wise, it wasn't too bad.  Some vanilla egg custard and some chicken salad that I took to the festival.  Then when I got home, the Brit had taken the kids out for sushi and had brought some home, so I ate the middle out of three pieces of Philidelphia roll.  OMG, that was wonderful, even without the rice and the seaweed.  Then I had a bit more of my eggdrop soup and am now sipping on some light orange juice.  I've decided I can handle the Carnation and it does have a fair amount of protein in it, but the shakes, I need to back off of for a bit as they are doing my head in.  Whoever thought that how good of a day you had depended on if you could stomach a stupid protein shake!  I just need to alleviate some of the pressure while still following what I'm supposed to be doing as closely as possible. 

This is such a day to day thing and today was a good day.

Trying to take back control

So today started out much the way yesterday ended; no desire to grind up food and even a new protein shake grossed me out.  I spent the morning on the verge of tears, not too sure of what to do to get through the next two weeks in a semi-healthy way. As you know, my goal has been to be a success, and I was feeling anything but successful.  Add to that the fact that I was bored out of my mind and being bored makes me mentally want to eat and well, it was not pretty here today.

But this afternoon, I headed out and brought some plain protein powder; no flavor.  Then a trip to the grocery store where I searched and managed to come up with some alternatives:

Canned chicken: grind it up a little, heat it up, add some cheese.
Sugar free jam sweetened with Splenda: to add to my cottage cheese to mix it up a little.
More turkey chilli: The one thing that has been tasting good.
Sugar free ice cream: Screw the protein drinks; I'm making a protein milkshake.
Riccotta cheese and spaghetti sauce: not exactly a pizza, but carries the essence of one.
Frozen peaches, strawberries and mixed berries, again,for the shakes

So, I'm hoping these things will help with the next two weeks.  Now I just have to decide what to pack to go with me to Sheep and Wool tomorrow and I'll be all set. 

This has definately been the hardest part so far. The first two weeks post-op seemed really easy.  The first week being liquids and I just wasn't hungry or in the mood to eat, but the stuff was easy and mindless to eat.  The first week of pureed-must-be-the-consistancy-of-applesauce wasn't too bad, but by the end of this week, it was just old, boring, and a lot of work; both to figure out what to have and to fix it.  But I know I just have to tuck in and git 'er done.

I've looking forward to the festival tomorrow.  I need a change of venue.

Rant

I'm having a really off day today.

I'm fairly certain it is PMS related, however, there is no other safe place to throw a mini-tantrum other than here, so my apologies but it must happen.  Today, I am absolutely sick and bloody tired of protein shakes and food that looks like Fancy Feast.  I can't seem to make a protein shake taste good anymore and when you aren't even hungry who wants to grind up normal looking food to make it look like porridge? I don't have any kind of urge to eat anything BAD for me; I just have an urge to have something that looks freakin' normal!  No, I don't regret the surgery and I'm not even sure I'm really mourning food; I think I'm just mourning a lack of choices.  It's no longer a "What am I hungry for?" it's a "What can I grind up and make tolerable?"

I am pleased as punch with my surgery outcome so far.  I am happy to be down 17 pounds.  I am thrilled to be feeling as good as I am.  It's a case of not being hungry, knowing I have to eat, but nothing looks even remotely good kind of thing.  I'm quite happy drinking my water, thank you very much.  I fixed crab and shrimp mush for dinner and couldn't even eat it.  So, I managed a couple of bites of cottage cheese instead.  At least I didn't have to puree it.  That has been the joy of oatmeal the last two mornings; I can have it the way it is supposed to look!  I'll bet if all the restaurants showed their commercials with their exact same menu, other pureed, this country would not have a weight problem!  Cuz nobody'd want to eat dat shit. 

Tomorrow has to be better, right?  Maybe tonight, I'll surf for WLS recipes and try to find something tolerable.  I still have two more weeks of this stuff!

/rant

Oh and Meg, I think we are Orlando bound the week of the 12th!  Can we meet up at some point??

I leave you with this video.  I discovered Godtube today.  A lot like Youtube but Christian and I was surfing it and found this.  Make sure your volume is up!

Post Op Update

16 days post op and I'm down 17 pounds.  I'm a wee bit amazed as it feels as if I'm not even trying.  But then again, I guess that is what makes this whole thing so successful.  I'm almost afraid to say this, but...it almost feels too easy.  I'm not really hungry other than a little bit in the morning until I eat.  My food has been going down easily.  My energy level is slowly getting back to normal.  If I have to taste one more banana in a protein shake, I'm going to hurl, so I bought strawberries today to change things up a bit.  I had some turkey chili for dinner with a little bit of 2% cheddar on it and it was yummy.  It's so weird, because I am eating these little amounts and I have to eat it really slowly and it is amazing how aware I am of how good it tastes.  I stop eating the second my new pouch tells me it is full as I have no desire to experience dumping again. 

My cold is getting better now as I have felt much better today thankfully. Still a little coughing and some occasional sneezing, but yesterday was just what I needed; a nice little rest.

Send some love over to Kim, who was laid off today and oh how I remember that feeling from being downsized in 2001.  God is opening doors for her, of that I am certain!  But still, when you don't see it coming, it can leave you in shock, but I have no doubt that for Kim blessings will soon abound!