Debate Class

My friend, Jimnotmike and I tend to disagree on stuff, which is fine.� Most of the time I can see his point and just let it go as a difference of opinion, but his comment to me last night I have to reply to.� He knows I love him, but this one was not a black and white thing for me.



He said: OK, so if you hate her so much and find it so boring, why wouldn't you tell her why you don't like her class? I've often found that a little constructive criticism can go a long way. Perhaps she has no idea how annoying she is. Perhaps other people in the room agree. Perhaps...it is your civic duty, as I often feel it is mine, to enlighten the "Whoo" shrew?



To be�honest, I don't feel it is my job or my place to tell her I don't like her class.� There are people who do like her and some of the gals I have befriended in Jack's class are genuinely surprised by my hatred of Jen's class.� I look at my dislike of her as a conflict in personalities.� I do think that Jack's class attracts more people primarily because of his personality.� He also appeals to the musical theater person in me as he generally works out one large combination by the end of class.� So I generally CHOOSE not to go to Jen's class and I would not have gone last night had I known Jack would not be there.� They do cover for each other from time to time and I just rearrange my schedule to accommodate his class, even if he is on a different or an additional day.� It doesn't happen often thankfully and it just happened to happen this week when I was not here last week to hear the announcement.



I guess I never really feel it is my place to point out someone's shortcomings because they are only shortcomings to me as far as I know.� For as independent as I am and as non-caring as I often come across if someone doesn't like me, I think it would be horrible if every person who did not like my personality or my method of living my life felt it was their civic duty to enlighten me on why, for them, I suck.







I think if everyone did that, more and more people would be on antidepressants afraid to get out of bed in the morning.� I have taken many classes over the years; school, exercise, hobbies and there are always teachers I don't like.� Those same teachers I don't like, have been favorites of other people.� I think it all has to do with our personalities and personal preference.� It's what makes us different as being alike would really be boring.�



Moving on.



I love running.� Have I mentioned this lately?� Despite a terrible night's sleep last night, I set my alarm for 5:38 AM in order to get a run in before work and before the temps reached the estimated 102 degrees today.� It was so nice to walk outside into relatively cool air that early in the morning, to not have to share the road with anyone for the most part and to be alone with my thoughts.� Running is my time to regroup, commune with nature and God and my body and I love it.� It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but I do it and doing it despite how hard it is makes me feel strong.� Running makes me undeniably happy, gives me incredible energy the rest of the day (though given my lack of quality sleep last night, a nap may be in order today).� I love the dedication running has given me and the discipline (such as getting up at Freakin' Early AM) it inspires in me.�



What inspires you?

And An Island Never Cries

�I think that in life, we get used to things being a certain way and certain people being our sounding boards and when that changes, we experience an intense feeling of isolation.



That's the way I have been feeling this week.� Alone, no sounding board, against the world and it is closing in on me.� I'd say I'm depressed but that is not really something I am accustomed to feeling so I'm not sure.� Maybe I am just having a few down days.



The two people�I talk to the most when my heart is heavy have not been�available.� One is working two jobs and I never see her anymore and the other is currently in rehearsals for a show.� Neither of these people are responsible for me, but they were/are still the people I talk to and I have not yet adjusted to things being different.� They won't be different forever, but right now, I have a feeling of drowning with no one there to pull me back.



I am nearing the time of year when things get complicated; school will soon be out, golfing weather is upon us and I start trying to figure out how to juggle all of it and still find my own time for the exercise that helps to keep me sane (though this week, not even that is helping).� Leaving my kids at home alone for four hours a day is scary enough during the summer, especially with my oldest, so any longer than that, is not possible.� Yes, I have the treadmill, which will help once I get a fan down there, but my goals right now are running and increasing my stamina outside.� I can do the inside thing once or twice a week but any more than that and I lose the ground I have gained outside.



Summer is also complicated because I have to spend more time with my kids, which I love them, do not misunderstand, but I am the opposite sex parent and it is a known fact that kids respond more to the same sex parent, which is not me.� I deal fairly well with this most of the time; the fact that they bicker more for me, act up more for me, feel that they can get away with more with me; but sometimes, like this week, it just gets to me.� And on the rare occasion when asking for help results in annoyance at me, my frustration is all the greater.� I accept the fact that I am the primary care giver with them; the mother usually is and that is fine.� I have the part time job so it only makes sense, but there are occasions when I need help.� Those days when there doesn't seem to be a moment when there is not an issue going on, someone mad at someone, hitting someone, tattling on someone, arguing with someone and they come at me one right after the other with barely a breath in between.� It gets to me some days.� Most days, I can take it all in stride, but this week has been tough for some reason.� I�can't question why.� It just is.



And the people I lament to are not around currently.� The ones willing to listen to me and to help me put things into perspective.� I know I am strong and it is only when alone that I feel tears pushing forward this week.� This isn't about anyone else or making anyone feel bad; this post is me feeling bad and trying to get the emotions out in some safe way.



The majority of my days during the week are either spent completely alone or with kids.� Not much going on at work right now and more days than not, it is just me.� Then I go and work out alone.� Then I go home alone for awhile until the kids come home so again, no adult conversation.� It's getting to me right now.�



Still don't even know if my mother is pissed off at me about the Mother's Day thing and I am not in a place to call her today because if any attitude is going on, I am not feeling strong enough to deal with it.� I am not going to put myself in a place to be made to feel bad or guilty about my decision.� See, my sister was here last week and when any other sibling is here, I don't hear from my mother but rarely.� But now, I am sure I am in the wrong for not calling, but I'm just not in that place right now.� I am not feeling strong enough to guard my words.�



I'm sure this will pass.� I don't often get this way.� Lonely.� Feeling isolated.� Alone time is often something I crave but when my demons are knocking at my door being alone is not where I want to be.�

Just Got Home!

I just got home from the movies and had an email from Kim asking me to blog.  I'm entirely unprepared for this so I'll movie review.

Went and saw "The Taking Of Pelham 123" with John Travolta and Denzel Washington.  Very Good Movie!!  John Travolta plays bad very well - and he is still one handsome dude. 

Plenty of action in this movie, some things are a little predictable or maybe it's because I see so many movies, I tend to pick up every detail.  Sometimes too much detail, as I had the whole ending rewritten...still think my ending would of been better!!

Everyone have a good night!!

Laura

Easter Traditions

With Kim on her way to England, I've been given the blog duty.....since today's Easter, I've decided to explain where some of those Easter traditions come from:

Some may be horrified to know that Easter began as a pagen festival.  I say horrified because I know quite a few churches have banned Halloween due to it's pagen background, but they tend to overlook the fact that both Christmas and Easter were pagen festival time at some point.

The ancient Saxons celebrated the coming of Spring with a festival for the goddess of offspring and springtime - Eostre.  This festival just happened to be at the same time of the Christian observance of Christ's resurrection; so they just kind of altered the festival and the holiday eventually took a more modern spelling - Easter.

The Easter Bunny is not an invention of modern times.  It began with the pagen festival of Eastre - her earthly spirit was a rabbit.
It was the Germans who brought the Easter Bunny to America.  Easter was not widely spread until after the Civil War.

The Easter Egg also predates the Christian Holiday.  It was custom to exchange eggs in the springtime as the egg was a symbol of rebirth.  They were often wrapped in gold leaves or colored by boiling them with certain flower petals.

And that's about all I could find on the internet......

But I'll leave you with my very favorite Easter Commercial: