Putting my Write Foot Forward

You know, I always tend to jump into something head first and then doubt my ability to follow through.� This has always been especially true with writing.



I love to write fiction and I dabble in it on the side.� I love spinning a little tale, often for my own amusement or maybe for the eyes of one other person or even a message board of faceless writers.� My reviews have always held high praise but yet when it comes to the thought of writing a full length novel, I freeze up in terror.� I keep trying to squelch this particular fear but how do you decide for it to be okay to put your dream out there for someone else to judge?�



My weekend in DC has brought around an opportunity for a writing contest and yours truly signed up and is now doubting the wisdom of that decision.� A minimum of 10,000 words by January 15th.� A story of the Christian fiction nature.� Oh, I have the story in my�head; it is getting it down on paper that scares me and even more than that?� The first paragraph.



That first paragraph has to grab readers and I agonize over it even when just writing something anonymously.� First paragraphs are terrifying.� It's the selection of exactly where the story begins and sometimes beginnings can have several options, but it has to captivate the person who picks up the book in a bookstore and opens it.� The reader has to want to know what happens next in order to take that book to the register and purchase it.



Granted, I don't have to start writing with the first paragraph.� I can start somewhere in the middle, leaving only a rough draft of the beginning to go back to later when I am feeling more confident, but then it is looming over my head the whole time; that concern of will I come up with something good enough.�



And what if I pour my heart and soul into this only to fail?� That's the real fear, isn't it?� To find out that something you have always in your heart known you should be doing with your life is not good enough.� That you weren't as talented as you'd hoped.�



In doing a little blog reading today I found this quote:



"Of all the people I have ever known, those who have pursued their dreams and failed have lived a much more fulfilling life than those who have put their dreams on a shelf for fear of failure."� ~Author Unknown



Okay.� So it is time for me to step out and mean it this time.� How do I make that happen?� If anyone has been reading here for the last several years, I have declared before that I am going to write a book.� A few rough drafts later and it is tossed on a proverbial shelf collecting dust and nailed to the shelf by my fear.�



Does the fact that I can't let go of this dream mean that God is trying to guide me to it but I am resisting?� Sometimes I wish He were not so subtle.� There are times a brick upside the head would be too subtle for me.� I am a stubborn chick and at times that gift serves me well and at other times, not so much.



I have decided that maybe I need to approach this a different way, but for those of you here for a health blog, I should probably not go into my Christian-type plans.� Then again, do I have any need to be afraid of putting it out there?� Are you all going to judge me?� And isn't health about overall health?� About mind, body and spirit?�



So my spiritual health is going to be getting some work done very soon.� It's important and maybe in that work, I will be able to let go of my fears of failure with a sort of reckless abandon and stop allowing my fears to dictate what I do or don't do.� Maybe the work will allow me to listen with my heart and not with my mind, which is o so imperfect.� I need to find my ability to commit and to not doubt my abilities.



So what works for you?� What are you afraid of and how do you overcome it?