Just a reminder

I'm not going to say much tonight as I have spent the day cleaning in preparation of not only family from England arriving tomorrow late afternoon, but also to clear some time for after work tomorrow to start writing for NaNoWriMo.  Just to remind ya'll that since I am also doing NaBloPoMo, I will posting excerpts here from the novel writing, which will have to do with my weight issues and what has brought me to the point I am now, which is pursuing RYN.

Another reminder:  I will be doing next to NO editing on the novel because as the creators of NaNoWriMo say "Editing is what December is for."  I will try to be coherent, but please bear with me. 

Also, any cheer leaders during the month of November would be gladly welcomed!

Here is what was in my inbox this morning in regards to my novel writing month:

Dear NaNoWriMo participant

Well, we're on the cusp of another beautiful noveling November. The turn-out so far has been phenomenal. Between our main program and Young Writers Program, we'll have over 90,000 authors on board by the end of the week, making this officially the largest NaNoWriMo since the event was first adapted from an Andorran mule-wrestling ceremony back in 1999.   

For those of you who are new to NaNo, I want to quickly run through the noveling schedule for the month ahead.

Step 1: Keep reading this email; learn the secret of NaNoWriMo.
Step 2: Wait for 12:01 AM local time on November 1.
Step 3: Write a novel.

No problem.

Okay, back to Step 1. The secret of NaNoWriMo. Which is this: There is a door in your brain. The door has been there your whole life. You may not have noticed it before because it blends in with everything else in your brain. Weird art. Mismatched furniture. Squis hy gray bits clinging to everything.     

So what does this door have to do with your novel?

Your job this month is not so much writing a book (which is intimidating) as it is finding that door (which is easy).

It's easy because you'll have guides in November who will take you right to it.    

These guides are also known as your characters. They're kind of an abstract notion now, but you'll meet them in all their glory in Week One of NaNoWriMo. They'll be a strange lot. Insecure warlocks. Stamp-collecting squirrels. Teenage detectives.

Whoever shows up, go with them. And go quickly. You may have a general sense of where you're going together; you may not. It doesn’t matter. Just write your allotment of 1667 words (or more) on November 1. Don't edit any of it. Editing is for December. Then come back and write another 1667 words the next day. And the next. And the next.



By Week Two, you'll be at the door. A few words later, you'll be through it. You'll know you're there because the writing will feel different. Less like work, and more like watching a gloriously imperfect movie with cringe-worthy dialogue, heaps of confusing tangents, and moments of brilliance so delightful that you'll want to scream.

Once you've stepped through that door into the vast reaches of your imagination, you'll be able to return there as often as you like. It's an enchanted, intoxicating place, and there are other great things besides novels in there.

But we'll talk about that later.

For now, here's our game plan for the coming week.

1) Make sure you've affiliated with a region and then made it your Home Region. This is a two-step process. You do it by signing in and then going to the My Regions page of My NaNoWriMo. The far-left tab gives you a list of regions to choose from. Choose one by clicking "affiliate," then go to the far-right tab called Home Region and make sure your region is ticked.

2) Make sure you have your Edit Profile settings geared to allow emails from us (if you got this, you're good), and that your email program knows to accept messages from noreply@nanowrimo.org. Pep talks from esteemed authors will begin landing in your inbox this week, and will continue to arrive every four days or so. To turn off emails from us, just head to Edit Profile and change your settings to "No mail."

3) On November 1: Begin writing. At this point, you'll be able to begin updating your word count on the Author Info tab of the Edit Profile page. You can do this on the honor system by just typing in the number, or you can paste the whole book in and let our robots count it for you. If you paste your book, please scramble it first, using instructions in our FAQ. You can also post an excerpt of your book in the same area of the Edit Profile page.  



4) For the first week of the event, the site will be on fire. This year we moved to a completely new back-end system, and it has made me beat my head against the wall almost every single day. Pages disappear. Parts fall off. Error screens everywhere. It handles high traffic the way a country lane would handle a freeway. We have so many plans on rebuilding the site it for next year it's not even funny. But for now, we have to work with what we've got. Russ is making all the improvements he can to make it suck less.

If the site isn't functional, just postpone updating your word count until the dust settles. NaNoWriMo does not live on a website. It lives in your heart, in your powerful typing fingers, and in your dramatically escalating word count.

We'll keep working on the site. You keep working on your novel.

Together we will rock November.

Happy noveling, everyone! We're so glad to have you writing with us.

Chris
NaNoWriMo

Almost time

I can finally say that on Monday, we have our consult for RNY!  I'm very excited.  The weekend had me feeling rather wistful about a lot of things.  People who have never had weight problems, may not understand the full impact fat has our lives. 

We discovered some old video tape on Saturday from the first year we had the boys.  It consisted of Christmas, Halloween and our trip to Florida (if video doesn't give you a good idea of what you really look like, nothing will) and it made me a little sad and then it seemed to fuel my determination.  Disney and Sea World can be difficult when you are big in the size department.  Lots of walking, trying to fit into rides that are not necessarily made for larger people, heel/back/leg pain after a day in the park.  I find myself thinking that we are shortchanging our kids.  Our inability to be as mobile as we should be impacts them.  I found myself wanting to do Disney again after surgery and weight loss.  I want to go and do it as a normal size, where I can truly have my children experience it and have me experience it with them. 

That all got me to thinking about the beach.  I love the ocean with a passion that may not even be normal.  I love the sound, the smell, the sight of it.  I love playing in it and treading the waves.  I love the feel of sand between my toes.  But again, weight impacts my ability to enjoy it fully.  Walking on sand is not easy when you are overweight big fluffy obese.  There I said it.  I hate that word with everything in me, but I said it.  So now, I feel like I am shortchanging myself!  I want to spend time at the ocean and be comfortable to walk the shore and lie on the beach (without someone calling marine rescue to come save a beached animal).  I am missing out on some of my favorite parts of life!

I think we can become too accepting of things, like being obese.  We start thinking "Well, that is just the way it is and the way it will always be and I just need to learn to live with it."  But why?  Why learn to live with it when you can fight back? 

I know that surgery is not the answer for everyone and I commend people who are able to take it off naturally and keep it off.  But time and again, that has not proven to work for me.  So, I became immune.  I gave up and tried to make myself accept the fact that this must be how God intended for me to be, and there are probably people out there who would adamently agree with that.  But if I am unhappy, is that what God wants for me?  I don't think so.

So in six days, I should have a plan to begin to change my life to one I am happy with.

And in two days, my life will change with lots of writing for the next thirty days.  Hold on, ya'll.  It could be a bumpy ride.

A better Friday

So, I made the decision to do both NaBloPoMo and NaNoWriMo and then on December 1st, ya'll can have me committed.  I need to make sure that the Brit knows (as he encouraged me to do this, even with company coming!) that this means I will need to be using his laptop on the drive to Canada if we are doing that while his brother is here.  Writing for NaNoWriMo will probably mean not taking a day completely off from writing as I need to write about 1667 words per day for thirty days.  Anyone know of a good word counting program??  I thought Word might have one, but I'm using a new version of it and can't even locate the "undo" tab yet, which is moderately annoying.

So, NaBloPoMo folks, I hope you visit, though I don't know how much visiting I'll be getting done on other participating blogs.  I hope I can manage to view some as I picked up a few great reads from last year!  Is anyone else doing both??  I'd love to know if you are!

Not much other news, though the weekend is looking like a bit of a bummer.  I have to go work a fiber festival on Sunday and though several of my best buddies will be there, the whole thing is a bit of a sore spot with me.  I have not been to my knitting group since June, partly due to a couple months of other committments and mostly due to the fact that the decision was made to participate in this festival.  While, in theory, it is a nice idea, for me, with a part-time job and two full-time kids, it was just not possible.  I am not a fast knitter...actually, I am the slowest knitter I know.  Mind you, I love knitting. Truly!  But it is a hobby that I have little time for right now, though as the kids get older, there will be more time.  The aspect of the festival put a level of stress on my hobby that I hated, so not only did I decide I did not want to do the festival, I boycotted knitting altogether from June until two weeks ago! 

There have also been a few other issues which I won't go into, but when too many rules inundate one's hobby, it is time to find another group.  When a hobby becomes "mandatory" it is time to find another group.  But I did sign up to work the festival on Sunday, so I will be there...if Lisa sends me directions

Other than that, not much going on tomorrow!  I'm looking forward to no early alarm clock, but we do have to go weigh in by 10:30!

I have LSS!

I have just given myself an official diagnosis.

There is not a lot known about LSS other than it is prevelant among the overweight population who have made the decision to pursue WLS.  Symptoms are an urge to eat all foods not good for you, while feeling a sense of euphoria and freedom.  It also diminishes ones sense of guilt for such practices. 

Yes, dear readers, I have Last Supper Syndrome.  Do you like that?  I just made it up!

I have got to get this under control before the holidays hit!  Ever since making my decision, I have been afraid of hurting the feelings of any food that made me fat in the first place.  Not eating chocolate would certainly hurt chocolate's feelings and ya'll know how I am about wanting everyone to like me! 

In a sense, I suppose it is good and probably normal.  For instance, my mind is preparing itself to say goodbye to old habits.  Already, I am looking at Christmas and thinking that this will be the last Christmas where I can fully indulge in all my favorite sweets, such as homemade candy, peanut butter blossoms (OMG, Peanut Butter Blossoms!) apple pie with Bird's custart, etc.  Then I look at that on the flip side.  Indulge?  What that translates into is not just enjoying a taste of something sweet, but deciding to divide and conquer that particular food for that particular season, to the point that when the last crumbs have been swept away and the tree has been put to the curb, and the decorations are back down in the basement, I am looking in a mirror thinking "What on earth have you done and how long will it take you at least get back to the weight you were before Christmas?

I guess it is a bit of a mourning process as I grieve the loss of an old friend, probably a best friend: food.

Then in a sense, LSS is bad because because I don't really want to gain weight before surgery.  Add to that the fact that I don't know what my insurance company is looking for in six months of structured diet programs.  Some say, that they think insurance companies put this in place to discourage people.  How many folks really want to go through it all again for six months in order to get the surgery?  Others say that insurance companies have you do this to see if you can stick to a program pre-op.  Now, does stick to a program mean, lose weight on a program, or just be present?  I have no idea.

But I need to get myself under control and find a way to think a bit differently, at least in a place of Happy Medium. 

Where the crazies gather

So, ya'll are killing me with all the comments about November.  Is it just indifference or fear of standing up in public

Anyway, in honor of Crystal's Walmart experience I remembered that not all the crazies gather at the Walmart.  No, there is at least one other place where everyone goes, regardless of sanity, goofiness or any other general absurdity.  That place would be the MVA or the Motor Vehicle Administration.  Because just as everyone loves to shop cheap, most of those folks like to drive to get there.

I had the unfortunate experience of the MVA last Friday due to the little incident with the car and the robbery.  At that point, my purse had not yet been found, so it was fairly important to me that I get a replacement license in the event of being pulled over for any reason.  So, while my window was being repaired, the Brit drove me out to the MVA, though he was not foolish enough to actually enter the building with me.  Smart guy.

The place was the busiest I had ever seen it, though I try not to make a habit of going.  It may have been because school was out on Friday, so it was time to take all the teens out to try for their driver's licenses, but the joint was packed.  I explained my situation and got the dreaded number that I had to wait to appear on the little screen that shows what numbers are being serviced (Yes, I'd like a back massage and a facial please) and then took a seat to people watch. 

Not too much was going on until this little old, white haired lady got out of line with her number and started wandering around.  She had a little grin on her face, so she didn't look distressed or anything and she was obviously alone.  My amusement was already unfolding.  She approached this handsome, young man and was apparently asking him what she needed to do.  Though I did not hear the question, I did hear him explain to her three times that she would need to watch the board for her number to come up and then he directed her to a seat and escaped as quickly as possible.

Grandma puttered over to a bench and sat down quickly but with the longest, most vocal groan I had ever heard.  Despite the business of the place, there was no missing that sound.  The lady sitting across from me and her two teenagers, joined me in silent giggles until we were on the verge of tears.  It was about that time that grandma decided she was tired of watching the little screen, so she started talking to it too.

"Come eeehn" ("Come on" but it sounded way more like eeehn)

Another round of giggles from the two women and two teens who are all apparently really five years old.

"Come EEEEHN!"

By this time more people are looking and giggling until finally grandma's number pops up.  She jumps up from her seat, (no groan in the reverse) and putters up to the counter where she is getting a handicapped tag for her car.  That seems to go without incident.  Once she is finished, she turns and putters through the room, towards the door and is stopped by an elderly man in a handicapped cart, maybe trying to hit on her.  I have no idea what he said to her, but her response was a very loud,

"I'm goin' to HELL!"

Either that or she was headed to the Walmart.

So, here's what I'm thinking

I've really been struggling with the idea of abandoning my blog for the entire month of November for NaNoWriMo for a couple of reasons.  First and foremost, I have readers, no matter how quiet they can be in the comments, and I certainly don't want the readers who do not know me personally to forget I exist where there aren't many posts for 30 days.  The other reason is that not posting is going to limit my chances of getting new readers. 

I am certainly not hung up on numbers when it comes to readers, but here is what I am loving right now about the blogging world.  There are a ton of WLS patients out there who blog about it and I am learning so much from them.  I have even started a journal where I take note of the tidbits of valuable information I am picking up from fellow bloggers.  Things like Stubbs Chicken Marinade and Fage Yogurt and Laptop Lunch boxes, not to mention such important information about vitamins, exercise, water, and protein.  Their willingness to share their journey on the internet paves the way for my journey to hopefully have a few less bumps or at least a few less moments of being completely overwhelmed.  No, what works for one person may not work for me, but with taking notes from different bloggers, I am developing a list of possible options.  I do not want to go into this life changing experience blindly!

So with that being said, here is what I have been thinking and I ask you lurkers to come out of hiding long enough to tell me what you think.  I have been feeling a wee bit sad about abandoning NaBloPoMo and doing NaNoWriMo instead, so I'm thinking of combining them and doing both.  I can work on the autobiographical novel that will help me work through my food and weight issues and then post pieces of it here for ya'll to read.  I don't know whether it would be interesting for you to read, but it might be helpful to a new reader who is looking at her own weight issues or considering surgery.  I plan on attempting to delve far into the past to when I can first remember having my own issues.  I plan on being what will probably be for me, painfully honest, about myself, my life, the things that have caused me to have the relationship I have with food and weight and body image and self esteem.  I will spend time analyzing and pondering and I may not always get it right, but I'm going to make a truer attempt than I have ever made before, because it needs to happen.  I deserve to go into this surgery with my eyes wide open, not only about the procedure itself but about myself.

I know that some of my friends probably have reservations and concerns about what I am planning on embarking on, but I have to thank them for being nothing short of supportive so far.  I'm going to need all of you to help keep me sane over the next few months with waiting for insurance approval, when a surgery date looms closer and I start to freak out a little and in the aftermath of learning to nourish new wiring in my body.  I have no doubt you will all be there.

So, what do you think?  Would you be interested in reading some tidbits of my delving into my weird psyche during the month of November? 

This and That again

I know that I don't usually blog on the weekends, but as I sucked so badly blogging this past week, I'm trying to make up for it.

I ran into a woman I used to work with when I worked in Corporate America hell.  I had just been talking about this lady to someone like a week ago, because I knew that she had lost a lot of weight and I was fairly certain she'd had RNY.  I hadn't seen her in years and years but today, I ran into her!  She looks fabulous and did indeed have RNY.  She talked to the Brit and I for a long time and gave us a lot advice as well as her phone number in the event we had any questions.  I loved talking to her because she had this surgery ten years ago and is doing great!  I'm so excited and cannot wait for my turn to arrive!

We had a youth gathering last Sunday night and I have a few pics to share.  There are more, but godaddy is giving me all sorts of grief about downloading pictures lately and they aren't responding to my to my problem tickets.









They're kinda scary, aren't they?



Does he look Asian to you?



He's doing an impersonation of one of the girls.  Too funny!



I love all these kids and am so glad to be a part of the group!