In a Nutshell

Spent the day in Washington DC today, had a great time, my cold is moving to my chest which I freakin' hate, I was just upstairs, meds taken, Breathe Right strip on my nose so I can breathe, Vicks rubbed on my chest, lying down on the brink of sleep and I realized I HAD. NOT. BLOGGED.

Not only am I sick, but I have a sickness.

More tomorrow....*cough* *sneeze*

Friday Q&A

So both Jil and Kim have asked me several questions, so for the reason that they are the only two so far and because I am worried they asked all their questions at one time, I'm going to answer six of them today and save the rest for next week and by then we'll know if any others are trickling in.

First question from Kim:

Have you gotten to the point where you are addicted to exercise?

This one I've been thinking about all afternoon and I'm still not sure of the answer.  Here is what I know; I do not look forward to working out and I count the minutes until I am done.  With that being said, when I don't work out, not only do I feel guilty now, but my body responds negatively.  I feel sluggish, irritable, out of sorts in general.  I will also work out for nothing less than an hour and sometimes more and sometimes more than once a day. I will often go the gym after work and put in an hour cardio and then at home that night while watching television, I will get out my exercise ball (we're friends now) and my weights and do a ball workout. 

When I think of the word "addiction" I think of something that is bad for me that I love doing.  I loved smoking (and still miss it), I loved eating (and still miss it). Exercise is not bad for me so I think I have trouble thinking of it as an addition.  However, it does make me feel good and I am addicted to the results I get from exercise.  It just makes me feel better over all and that in itself is amazing.  But I'm also not certain I will ever be one of those people who "loves" to workout.

Jil asked:

Would you consider moving to Texas...you like warm weather and baby have we got warm weather...lol

I kind of go where life and God lead me, so Texas is not out of the question

 Kim asked: Have you had any WOW moments lately?

Small ones.  I had bought a pair of LL Bean flannel lined jeans off ebay awhile back and when they arrived they didn't fit.  I kind of forgot about them and then two weeks ago, on a whim, I tried them on and wala!  They fit perfectly and aren't even tight.  Also, going tubing last weekend was a WOW moment for me as I would have never done that a year ago.  My energy level and stamina are also constant WOWs for me every day.  Even with coming down with a cold yesterday, 24 hours later, I am already feeling better and I think that has to do with my new life.

Jil asked: Did you have any problems with your mom while you were a teenager?

I don't think we had any problems that were necessarily out of the ordinary for a mother and daughter.  I went through the phase of shutting her out as a teen, which she hated, but is still pretty normal.  I don't get along with anyone more than her and no one can hurt me more deeply either.

Kim asked:  How is The Brit doing with his weight loss?

Very well as far as I know.  We both hit 100 pounds lost right before Christmas and I know he gained a pound or two in Australia.  I'll have to ask him if he has lost those two pounds and where he is.  He has trouble finding time to work out because he works very long hours, but I am planning on sitting down with him this weekend and working out a plan for him to make it happen in the evenings.  If it means a night or two of slow cooker dinners, that will work out fine.  I want to help him make it a priority.  Mentally, I think it is a priority for him, but in reality when he is trying to balance a demanding job and trying to make it home when I have dinner ready, it just isn't happening as often as it should.  We're going to try to start making it happen.

And lastly, Jil asked: How does the brit feel about your having short hair? Does it matter one way or the other to him?

In regards to my hair and most things actually, he tends to say "Whatever makes you happy."  He has never tried to control how I wear my hair or anything else for that matter.   I changed the style yet again yesterday and I think he enjoys the surprise element!

This was fun!  Let's do it again next Friday.  So ask away, anything you want to know; about me or what I think about any given issue. 

 

 

 

Q&A

I think the post I have been working on (don't get excited ya'll because it is so not a big deal.  I don't wanna be like the movie everyone talks about that you have to see and then you are way let down when you do see it because the film did not add up to the hype) for the weekend when I have some time.

Today, I worked and then put in almost two hours at the gym because I had a 3:00 hair appointment that was very close to the gym so there was no sense in my going home in between, so I kicked my own butt today at the Y.  But hey, it's all good. 

Other than the fact that I think I am getting a cold so I am Zycaming myself to try to cure it before it gets started.  With trying to work out and a surgery one day on the horizon (maybe) I don't have time for sick. 

In amazing news, head on over to visit Jil and give her some love.  She had full body views taken of herself by a work friend and she looks incredible!  Jil has lost 187 pounds in the ten months since her surgery.  I love this C&P gal (and all my C&P girls) and we have a standing date to drink wine and eat cheese one day.

I am also going to steal an idea from the other Kim for this here blog (but it's okay, I asked her if she minded and she said no ).  Fridays are going to be Q&A day.  All week long, you can ask me anything you want to know and I will pick questions and answer them on Fridays; probably all of them as I don't really look to be assaulted with questions.  I'm pretty much an open book and not easily offended, so if you are curious about something, ask.  I always find it fascinating to learn more about people and have enjoyed Kim's Q&As so I thought with blog content somewhat hard to come by some days, this would be a good thing for me to do.  Just post your question in the comments and we'll see how it goes!  If I get any questions between now and tomorrow evening, we'll start tomorrow, otherwise, next week.

Okay, off to pick up youngest child from school!

Holy crap...

...When did this freaking week get so busy???  I still have a post planned but need to finish doing my homework on it.  Not that it is a big deal; mostly just of interest to me, but I hate to half ass it.

Still no word on when my surgery will be and I only hope it is scheduled by the end of the week as I have my H&P set up for Monday and my doctor will need the paperwork of what tests they need to do!  I explained all this over the phone today, but we'll see what happens.  *sigh*

My mother went to dinner with us tonight and it felt very strained at least on my part.  She paid, which she never does, which is fine as we know her income is limited, so we usually get the check.  Not sure if paying is her feeling guilty, just being nice, or a way of saying "I'm sorry." though I would prefer to hear the words.  Still not too sure of what to make of it.  I have never wanted any regrets with my parents, so I figure I can still spend time with her, but I am not going to confide in her about things that can be flung back at me later.  What's that old saying?  Shit on you once, shame on them.  Shit on you twice, shame on you.  Got it.  Done.  It's not so much that I can hold a grudge, but more that I prefer to guard my heart.  I'm sure that all of my siblings have been on the tail end of one of her tongue lashings and I'm sure that this will not be the last time for me, as I'm no safer than anyone else.  Besides, my not confiding in her about the big stuff will probably cause her to tell me once more just how much I've changed since I've lost weight. 

I really don't want to dwell on that situation anymore, so unless there is some really important development, consider the subject now off limits by me.  As my BFFF would say "It is so bad news bears."

Randomness

I'm gathering some info for a post I want to do because it interests me and I had every intention of posting it tonight, but honestly, the day has gotten away from me and tonight is The Biggest Loser and American Idol, so hopefully tomorrow night!

• I hate how it is either feast or famine with television programs I like.  Either there is nothing on or I am spending more time in front of the tv than I would like, but honestly, I haven't picked up any new shows other than TBL and that one I consider a learning thing, because Jillian Michaels rocks my socks off, not to mention that I have gotten some incredible recipes from TBL Families Cookbook!


• I haven't heard anything yet from the surgeons office.  Hopefully tomorrow.


• My mother, who royally pissed me off last week is now acting like nothing ever happened and I'm not sure of how to handle this.  I am still hurt and honestly, am through confiding in her about my kids.  She was out of line last week; you don't tell someone else how to parent their kids; it's like an unspoken rule.  When you've walked a mile in my shoes, then maybe you can have an opinion, but she has not walked that mile.  I am a damn good parent, despite the conflicts with my eldest.  I have exibited more patience than I would have ever thought possible towards a child who has more often than not, treated me like the dirt beneathe his feet.  'nuff said.


• Short hair seems to be in need of a haircut way more often than long hair.  I love my short doo, (or is it do?) but I can't quite go six weeks without a trim or it gets crazy.


• I am still hopelessly addicted to Facebook.

Gall Bladder Update

The update is really that I don't have much of one yet.  Yes, saw my surgeon today who went over the risk (something about scar tissue being it the way and if they screw something up they have to add something, blah, blah, blah.  Only happens in .05% of people so I'm not really concerned).  So now I am waiting for the surgery center to call and schedule me which should happen by Wednesday.  I did already go ahead and book my H&P with my PCP for Monday morning so we can get that out of the way.

I just want this thing out like yesterday so I can quit sounding like a drunken sailor!

Fun Sunday!

So despite all the unwanted drama this week, today I did something I would never have done a year ago.

We all went snow tubing!

I had never been to Whitetail before though it is probably only thirty minutes from our home.  But today on a whim, the Brit and I decided to take the kids and go.  The boys were rather amazed that their mom and dad were actually going to tube with them!  We all had a great time for two hours, going down the slopes separately and also by hooking our tubes together to go down at the same time. It was amazing and exciting and great fun! 

The weather was even slightly warmer today; close to sixty degrees this afternoon which for me is both good and bad.  Good because it is indeed warmer and it has been melting the ice from last week.  Bad because it puts me into definite spring fever mode!  The days are already getting longer and that makes me happy.

Tonight, I am going to have to have a word with that groundhog about tomorrow.

The lock in at the church Friday night was wonderful and so needed on my part.  The kids make me laugh until my sides ache and I only hope that when Aaron joins them after Easter (that is his confirmation date) that he fits into the group well.  They are a lively bunch who take great pleasure in ribbing each other (and their adult leaders!) constantly, yet love each other (and their adult leaders) with a fierce protection.  They all have amazing senses of humor and are just so much fun to be around.  Lack of sleep was a small price to pay Friday night for the joy that it gave me after a not very good day.

Tomorrow, finally is the consult with my surgeon! I am so anxious to ditch this gallbladder and this constant burping.

Also, I want to thank my C&P girls and my friend, Kelly for their reinforcement over my situation from Friday.  Also Shelley and the youth group and leaders who have assured me that I have not changed.  That I am still me.  That all parents enjoy a break from their kids and that doesn't make them bad people or bad parents.

Meg said "I happen to have an excellent mother, and we have a great relationship. But I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she needed a break from us kids every now and then! There's a reason why we would go spend the weekend at grandma's a couple times a year! It wasn't that she didn't love us, it wasn't that she didn't like spending time with us, she just needed a break from the "mom" role and she wanted to spend time alone with our dad. I got that then. I get it now. There's nothing wrong with needing a break from your kids!"

And Kim said "I want to start first - because I can't fully respond... by saying that EVERY parent I know needs some time away from their kids to refresh... every mother in my life needs that - so it IS normal for you to need them to spend time away once in a while."

So thank you, girls, for getting it, for understanding, and for understanding the challenges in parenting The Brit and I have faced.  None of it has been easy, but at least now I don't feel as if I need to feel GUILTY for enjoying a break when the kids go to grandma's house for a few days.  It's a win-win situation: the kids get to see their grandparents, the grandparents get to spend time with their grandkids and The Brit and I have some adult time to just be who we are without kids for a few days.  The kids aren't really gone long enough for me to miss them, as I know where they are, that they are safe and generally when they are away, I am insanely busy getting some things done that I generally can't do when they are around.  I guess if someone wants to use that against me, that is that person's problem and not mine.  I take care of my kids.  I love my kids.  Yes, the oldest and I struggle and maybe we always will.  I don't know, but it hasn't been for lack of trying on my part.  The Brit seems to think that our eldest has issues with having a lack of respect for women, because of his bio-mom.  The Brit has seen this time and again and not just with me and I haven't been overly aware of it because of my own struggles with him.  But it makes sense to him and to a few other people.  So two different people have recommended the same therapist to me; a male therapist.  He had a female therapist before and nothing was working or making an impact and he just wouldn't open up.  But this kid takes to men instantly.  That I have noticed.  Whether it be his trainer at the gym (a guy) or the youth group members he prefers (guys), or The Brit, he seeks them out.   Never a female.  Oh, he likes girls well enough, but The Brit says he lacks respect for them.  Maybe if I can get him in with this new therapist we might get somewhere eventually.