Fun Sunday!

So despite all the unwanted drama this week, today I did something I would never have done a year ago.

We all went snow tubing!

I had never been to Whitetail before though it is probably only thirty minutes from our home.  But today on a whim, the Brit and I decided to take the kids and go.  The boys were rather amazed that their mom and dad were actually going to tube with them!  We all had a great time for two hours, going down the slopes separately and also by hooking our tubes together to go down at the same time. It was amazing and exciting and great fun! 

The weather was even slightly warmer today; close to sixty degrees this afternoon which for me is both good and bad.  Good because it is indeed warmer and it has been melting the ice from last week.  Bad because it puts me into definite spring fever mode!  The days are already getting longer and that makes me happy.

Tonight, I am going to have to have a word with that groundhog about tomorrow.

The lock in at the church Friday night was wonderful and so needed on my part.  The kids make me laugh until my sides ache and I only hope that when Aaron joins them after Easter (that is his confirmation date) that he fits into the group well.  They are a lively bunch who take great pleasure in ribbing each other (and their adult leaders!) constantly, yet love each other (and their adult leaders) with a fierce protection.  They all have amazing senses of humor and are just so much fun to be around.  Lack of sleep was a small price to pay Friday night for the joy that it gave me after a not very good day.

Tomorrow, finally is the consult with my surgeon! I am so anxious to ditch this gallbladder and this constant burping.

Also, I want to thank my C&P girls and my friend, Kelly for their reinforcement over my situation from Friday.  Also Shelley and the youth group and leaders who have assured me that I have not changed.  That I am still me.  That all parents enjoy a break from their kids and that doesn't make them bad people or bad parents.

Meg said "I happen to have an excellent mother, and we have a great relationship. But I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that she needed a break from us kids every now and then! There's a reason why we would go spend the weekend at grandma's a couple times a year! It wasn't that she didn't love us, it wasn't that she didn't like spending time with us, she just needed a break from the "mom" role and she wanted to spend time alone with our dad. I got that then. I get it now. There's nothing wrong with needing a break from your kids!"

And Kim said "I want to start first - because I can't fully respond... by saying that EVERY parent I know needs some time away from their kids to refresh... every mother in my life needs that - so it IS normal for you to need them to spend time away once in a while."

So thank you, girls, for getting it, for understanding, and for understanding the challenges in parenting The Brit and I have faced.  None of it has been easy, but at least now I don't feel as if I need to feel GUILTY for enjoying a break when the kids go to grandma's house for a few days.  It's a win-win situation: the kids get to see their grandparents, the grandparents get to spend time with their grandkids and The Brit and I have some adult time to just be who we are without kids for a few days.  The kids aren't really gone long enough for me to miss them, as I know where they are, that they are safe and generally when they are away, I am insanely busy getting some things done that I generally can't do when they are around.  I guess if someone wants to use that against me, that is that person's problem and not mine.  I take care of my kids.  I love my kids.  Yes, the oldest and I struggle and maybe we always will.  I don't know, but it hasn't been for lack of trying on my part.  The Brit seems to think that our eldest has issues with having a lack of respect for women, because of his bio-mom.  The Brit has seen this time and again and not just with me and I haven't been overly aware of it because of my own struggles with him.  But it makes sense to him and to a few other people.  So two different people have recommended the same therapist to me; a male therapist.  He had a female therapist before and nothing was working or making an impact and he just wouldn't open up.  But this kid takes to men instantly.  That I have noticed.  Whether it be his trainer at the gym (a guy) or the youth group members he prefers (guys), or The Brit, he seeks them out.   Never a female.  Oh, he likes girls well enough, but The Brit says he lacks respect for them.  Maybe if I can get him in with this new therapist we might get somewhere eventually.