What I Can't Do

After talking about my achievements in weight loss yesterday, I think it is only fair and educational to discuss what I can't do. 

There are habits that are way too easy to fall back into and my danger zone is nighttime snacking.  Oh, I can have A snack, but if I make it plural, I can pretty much count on seeing the results on the scale.  The hard part of this is that in the evenings my activity for the day stops or at least slows.  I bust my butt all day; work, gym, house stuff, kid stuff, dinner stuff.  But come 8:00 at night, it is time to wind down and if you put me in front of a screen, the urge to nibble comes about fairly easily. 

I'm remedying this by picking up a book or doing something with my hands to distract me.  It is imperative that I stay away from grazing and multiple munching.  I've worked too hard to throw it away on food that isn't necessarily bad for me, but not good for me either.  The scale keeps me honest and in check.  Bad food habits are part of the reason I weighed 315 pounds a year ago. I have no desire to revisit that time of my life when I feel so good now, and nighttime munching is not a need; it's a habit.  Habits can be broken.

The gym is also a MUST.  I don't always get there five days a week, though I try, but I get there as many days as is humanely possible given the limitations of appointments for kids or myself.  The other important thing is switching it up at the gym.  Repetitively doing the same old thing over and over again throws my body into a rut and it no longer wants to cooperate with my efforts.  I've been doing cross training on the elliptical, which has me again sweating bullets.  I've been doing 100 crunches with the exercise ball.  I change it up now and again with the treadmill or the bike.  When I was in there yesterday, I saw a guy, who I know was every bit as big as The Brit was before surgery, on the front row of elliptical machines.  These machines are different from the one I now use, but they are the machines I started out on because I found them easier as a beginner.  He did just fine, so pretty much anyone can.  I found myself silently rooting for him because of his size and how hard he was working.  And yes, it is work.  I don't go to the gym because it is a piece of cake; I go to push myself out of my comfort level.  I personally, find the elliptical to be an amazing piece of equipment, easier on my knees than the treadmill actually and it has really built up my cardio endurance.

I can't get lazy about this, ever.  All I have to do is think of the simple things I can do now that I couldn't do a year ago and it is a powerful reminder of why I can't get lazy.  Yesterday, there was nothing in my being that wanted to go workout.  I had a headache and was sitting back in the music room talking to Paula after my shift here at work ended.  I told her I didn't feel like going.  I sat there for a half an hour talking to her, then got in my car, planning on going home...and then went to the gym. 

I have to be a priority in my own life now.  I have to be here and be on top of my game to continue being who I am to the people in my life.  I didn't see how impacted I was by my weight a year ago, but I see it now...and I never want to forget about how it was a year ago.  Watching life instead of participating in it, feeling fat and ugly and unhappy with myself.  Oh, I was a great actress on the outside; smiling and laughing, but inside I was disgusted that I had let things go so far.  I was frustrated by nothing working for me in my attempts to lose weight.  Now, I revel in the things I can do!  I WENT SNOW TUBING, for heaven's sake!  Snow tubing!  Me! 

And snow tubing is just the beginning.

I am never going back.

Never.

Ever.

And don't forget Q&A Friday is coming up!  Ask and I will answer!