Info and Q&A

We met with Aaron's new therapist yesterday afternoon and I have to say we were pretty doggone impressed.  He was very open, very interested and offered thoughts and ideas on how we could start trying to draw him out a bit more with just normal day to day stuff.  I think that sometimes we are just so frustrated with him that our minds cease to stop thinking about being creative with this kid. 

Obviously, Aaron's background has a lot to do with how he is, but we, or at least I, also learned more about how is ADHD impacts him.  I used to describe him to his previous therapist as an "in the moment" kid.  What I learned yesterday is that this is true of ADHD kids in general, not just Aaron.  With an ADHD child, there is no moment more important to them than the one they are in RIGHT NOW.  They don't want to be interrupted from that moment for anything they need to do, such as showering, or chores or picking up after themselves.  You have no idea how helpful this was to know.  It all has to do with how the ADHD brain functions.  As he is always "in the moment" he is not thinking of the consequences of what he might be doing, which is where the challenge really comes into play.  I think I will be doing a bit more research on this little tidbit later.

Aaron meets with him next Friday and the challenge there will be to see if the doc can bond with him.  I don't think this is going to be a problem and this man is very engaging.  I'll keep you posted.

Only one question this week, from Susan, who had RNY a couple of months ago and is doing GREAT!  At my last update from her, she is down 53 pounds and that was at her three month follow up!

She asked: Where would you be now if you had not had bypass surgery a year ago?

My guess would be that I would be at 315 pounds, maybe more or maybe a little less.  I would be dealing with the same struggles I dealt with for 41 years.  I would be constantly beginning yet another diet/exercise program in the hopes that this one would succeed, only to have it fail once more.  I almost shudder to think of still being at that weight.  Only now, knowing what I do now, knowing how I feel now, do I realize how unhappy I was prior to last April.  Not that life in general was bad; I have a wonderful husband, incredible friends, good kids (usually ) and a fairly comfortable life.  But my opinion of myself, my limitation, the way strangers perceived me; it was all horrible.  Seems that only once you are able to do certain things do you truly realize what it was you missed.

There are times when I know I could easily get caught up in sadness for not doing the surgery sooner, but I have always tried to live my life with my motto of "no regrets".  Who I was then has helped to make me who I am now.  I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I am so much happier in my own skin.  Comfortable.  Not where I want to be yet, but not giving up on getting there.  Just delayed a little bit due to the gall bladder thing and this week, the foot thing (which is getting better.  Finally, it looks worse than it feels.  Deep bruising along the side of my foot and still near my toes.  Looks wicked, but I'm walking in much less pain now).  Once my surgery is finished, my foot should be healed and then it is time to climb back on the wagon and get down to business once again. 

So though where I came from isn't all bad, it certainly wasn't as good as it is now.  I like the person I am becoming; one who doesn't feel like just because she is fat that she has to be a doormat for others.  I used to constantly think that every time someone treated me badly it was because of my weight.  Now I can see that sometimes someone may have a point or on the other hand, maybe the issue is theirs and not mine.  Before, in my mind, it was always my fault, because I was obese.  I just learned to accept it; that maybe I wasn't worthy of good things because of my extra pounds.  When WLS finally allows you to really start taking care of yourself (I mean, if you've never tried working out at 315 pounds, then trust me when I say, it is something easier avoided.  There is a greater fear of injury, heart attack, and we won't even discuss ridicule.  Then at 315 pounds, the energy is just not there.  A small amount of time working out feels like you have just run a marathon), you realize how great it feels to do it.  Working out makes my body and my mind feel good, so it made me realize that it was so worth it for me to do it.  That *I* was worth doing it. 

That's it for this week.  Send in the questions, kids!  It gives me something to write about on Fridays and it makes me feel like I am giving back for the nosiness I give to all of you on your blogs.  Or am I just the nosiest person I know?