Tired!

I'm tired!

Today did not start out well.  With the Brit away, I have to get up at 6:00 to get Aaron up for school, so I get him up and then I crawl back in bed and lightly doze in between his visits and questions and teeth brushing.  Then once he leaves, I have ten minutes until alarm number two goes off, which is the "get your ass out of bed and into the shower, hobag" alarm, as I prefer to be showered before waking JJ up at 7:30.  Well, the 7:00 alarm did indeed go off, but this hobag did not get her ass out of bed, but instead fell back to sleep until 7:35. So, the whole morning was rushed and insane.

Got a lot accomplished at work.  I am amazingly far ahead in my work in preparation for surgery, so that four hours flew by.  Came home and immediately plunged into cleaning our bedroom.  Nightmare.  Our room is the one I neglect, and I don't know why that is.  Maybe it is because I am a female and feel a need to keep the downstairs clean (where any visitors would see) and the kid's rooms clean because if I rely on them to do it, I would be a horrible mother for making them live in filth.  Our room is also the room I probably spend the least amount of time in.  But anyway, the master bedroom is the room that is done the least frequently and therefore the dust bunnies were armed and dangerous.  But four hours later, it had all been dusted, my dresser drawers cleaned out (I even got rid of some pajamas I hated and will soon not be big enough for...HA!), my nightstand cleaned out and the floor vacuumed and mopped. 

I also have cooked a stew today for freezing, which is nearly finished and tomorrow I may do a meatloaf or something and tackle the bathroom.  And speaking of which, I need to call the bathroom people to see where our stuff is as I'm more than ready for the new tub/shower.

So, now I'm going to relax for the rest of the evening and try to recover from being a Corporate America widow.

Love ya, honey!

And one more thing

Okay, so no, my surgery does not have a theme song, but this one has been giving me amazing strength and a sense of deep peace.  I wanted to share it.

Another Weekend Down

Apparently normal bloggers take the weekend off, while we die-hard idiots who sign up for things like Blog 365 have to try to think of something intelligent to say on a Sunday evening after a very full day and a very full few days coming up.  However, I totally miss my bloggin' peeps on the weekend when they are out living their real lives

Today, we met with the youth on the Mission Trip and again I was reminded of how desperately I want to go.  Paula and the kids keep insisting that they are praying and thinking very good thoughts that it will happen but only time will tell.  So many things have to go my way in order for the trip to be possible, but we will see, one obstacle at at time, how it goes.  My surgery and recovery has to go well, the Brit's surgery and recovery has to go well, the grandparents have to be able to take the kids for the week, and last but not least, there has to be a space made for me in a completely booked week with Youthworks.  I would have to be able to get special permission from them to be able to go at this point as there are no more available slots.   I also know that just like surgery, if God wants me to go, I'll go as He can make a way out of no way. 

The Brit left today for another business trip, so the kids and I are on our own for a few days (other than our savage and nasty pitbulls and Bullmastiffs, of course, who guard our home and will rip apart anyone who tries to enter that we have not invited).  I already have the ingredients for a beef stew ready to be turned on tomorrow, so I can cook it and get it ready for freezing.  If I can get about four or five meals ready to go, I'll be happy as it will buy me some feeling better time after I get home.

I was reading the reviews I posted the link for about my surgeon yesterday and read where one woman got to go home the next day as she was doing so well!  I can only hope!  I'm kind of dreading the hospital experience as I doubt I will have a room to myself and I know how nosy hospitals can be.  So, though I'm not going to bank on being released the next day, it would certainly be a welcome surprise were it to happen.

Okay, I plan on doing a whole lot of nothing the rest of the night asI have lots to do the next few days!  Hope your weekend was delightful!

Ready to Rock n Roll

 I'm thinking that tomorrow would be a really great time to have my surgery because the last few days I have come to the startling realization that I am sick. of.food. 

I have been in Last Supper Syndrome for so long now that nothing appeals to me anymore and I'm thinking that not being able to eat much for quite some time will be a huge relief. 

I spent today washing the kid's bedding and running errands, picking up more protein powder and even snuck in a tiny nap...very tiny, but nonetheless.  The Brit leaves on a business trip tomorrow for a few days, so what is on my agenda for that time is to clean our room top to bottom and prepare some meals for freezing as when he is not home, the kids I eat easy stuff, so it won't feel like I'm cooking additional meals.

And in the event that anyone has any concerns, you can read all sorts of reviews on my surgeon here.  I had read them before, but now at T minus 16 days nearly, I revisited them again today just to remind myself of how confident I am with my choice.

I still get moments of nerves and am still awake at 3:00am about every other night, but I consider that fairly normal.  All in all, I am simply anxious and just want the day to arrive.  This Friday is my anesthesiologist appointment and Shelley is riding down with me as I hate to drive to the city period, and hate it even more alone.  It'll be nice to spend some time with her as I haven't seen her much of late, and we're thinking lunch and maybe a detour to a yarn store might be in order.  I'm even looking forward to that appointment because it just feels one step closer!

An Open Letter to the Male Population

Ya'll know that as women, we love you.  Truly, we do, despite the fact that we are as different as night and day.  However, I think that for the most part, we can easily see past the differences and we find a peaceful place to exist together, the way God planned for it to be.

There are certain tasks that fall onto each one of us.  You, the guys, are in many ways, the providers.  You handle the finances, keep a roof over our heads etc.  We are the gatherers.  We gather laundry, groceries, children, etc.  All in all, it is a relatively good balance.

There are a few things that God saw fit to do with the female of the species, which doesn't make too many men want to be us.  We give birth.  Though I have not experienced this personally, it is still something many women do.  In order to do that, women also have a time of the month when it all gets a bit screwey; we get moody, bitchy, snappy, whatever you want to call it.  These things can generally happen for no reason whatsoever and it isn't that we WANT to be short tempered, it's just a fact of life.  It's nothing we have asked for, but is simply how we were created.  We have these hormones that rage wildly for about ten days a month, though sometimes not consistantly.

We know that the male of the species cannot begin to understand what this feels like as they have never experienced it.  In many ways, we women don't completely understand it but it is just one of those things that happen to us, much against our will.  There are even times when we will realize we are being moody or bitchy or whatever your word of choice is, but at the same time we feel powerless to stop it.

While we apologize for all that, please understand that it does not help us in any way for you to point it out to us that we are being bitchy.  In fact, it is one of the few things you can actually do to help us feel bitchier.  Nothing worse than knowing our hormones are raging, we are being difficult and then have it pointed out to us by members of the opposite sex who have never experienced this wonderful time of the month nor have any idea of how out of control it can feel.  It is also bad to assume that just because we are grouchy, it is "that time of the month".  C'mon guys, ya'll get grumpy and that isn't your excuse, so why does it have to be ours?  If a guy is grouchy, he's stressed.  If a gal is grouchy, she's pmsing.  It's a horrible double standard.

All we ask is that you have some patience and know that you cannot possibly understand what these moods swings feel like.  We are not oblivious of them; we know they are happening and often despite our best efforts, there is just no stopping them.  Understanding is good, or at least pretend to be understanding.  Do not do what this guy did:

My Husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big friggen red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he will buy me a diamond.

Stop the Insanity!

I have come to the conclusion that I may not make it till April 15th.

I want surgery NOW!   I am so weary of the waiting; waiting for six months of structured diet, waiting for the consult, waiting to do pre-approval appointments, waiting for insurance approval, waiting for a date.  Enough already!!  We are talking about the girl here, folks, who lacks in the patience department.  When I worked in Corporate America I used to positively hate it when a manager would walk by me and say "I need to talk to you later."  What was that about??  If you're going to tell me you're going to talk to me, then do it now, otherwise don't tell me until you have time!

This journey has been one big "later" and it is making me insane and it spills over into other parts of my life, making me feel impatient about little things that would normally not bother me.  Then, of course, there is the former smoker in me, who when anxious always lit up, so now instead, I'm putting the Twizzler people out of business.  Yup, red licorice is my new vice apparently though I think it is only marginally better for me than cigarettes.  Hey, it's fat free, but we won't talk about the sugar content.

I've been nesting up a blue streak; sorting things out, getting rid of stuff, cleaning, washing stuff.  Of course, one day in the hospital with the kids and the Brit getting ready to get out the door in the morning and it will probably look like a hurricane went through here, but at least for the moment it is giving me something to do and giving me some peace of mind.  It's a shame they can't give me the happy drugs at two weeks pre-op as they would probably be helpful to all involved.  If I become insane, just shoot me up, dude and it will all be good.

American Idol, gang!  Who are we liking??  This is the first season where I have far too many favorites!  I adore Brooke and Jason is so cute.  David Cook and David Archuletta are awesome and Carly has got an amazing set of pipes on her.  Michael is good as long as he sings Queen apparently, so we'll see what next week brings.

The next three to go for me?
Shayesha, Ramielle and Kristy.  The latter got an extra week for playing the patriotic card this week, so unless she plans on pulling out "God Bless America" next week, I think she will be the next to go.

Okay, I have been non-active long enough!  Time to go clean, organize and sort and work off more nervous energy!!

It's Fun to Steal Stuff

So as I woke up with a major headache that has not seen fit to go away, I stole this little meme from Lacy as I can't be bothered today to think up something to write about.

Why did you start your blog?

With the age of computers, I had totally gotten away from the whole pen and paper writing scene, but I had always kept journals.  I started out on Xanga actually, then went to Blogger and finally to my own domain name.  I blog because I love to write and have delusions that some people may even find what I have to say interesting on a good day.

How did you come up with your blog name?

Basically, I had just started learning to knit and was enthralled with blogs like Crazy Aunt Purl, and as old knitting ladies always had cats, well, there ya go.

Do your friends and family know about your blog?  What do they think of it?

My friends, yes and I think they enjoy it.  My family, I don't know if they all do or not.  I know a few who do and a few who read it regularly.  It makes it difficult in some ways because I really strive to not censor myself, because if I was putting pen to paper, I wouldn't censor it.  But then if someone in my family ticks me off, it's hard not to blog about it.  I kind of have to gage if I should blog the incident and also if I do blog it, how do I do so in a non-hurtful way.  Then again, if the incident hurt my feelings, I'm not really sure I always care about being completely non-hurtful in return, but I do strive for honesty always.

How do you write posts?

You know, I have no ritual or anything like that.  I often just write what is on my mind and sometimes it is competent and sometimes it is crap.  There are days I have a lot of trouble organizing my thoughts and other days when the words flow easily.  It just is what it is.

Have you ever had a troll or had to delete an unkind comment?

Yes.  The people were not trolls, but rather Christians posing as trolls who did not agree with what I plainly stated was my opinion.  I allowed the one comment to stand and addressed it and when there were more anonymous comments, I chose to delete them and moderate them for awhile.  If you can't put your name behind your nasty thoughts, don't expect me to allow them to stand on the little corner of cyberspace I pay for.  And that's all  have to say about that.

Do you check your stats?  Do you care how many people read your blog?  f you care, how do you increase traffic?

I do check my stats because I find it interesting to see how people get here.  Also, as very few readers tend to leave comments, I like trying to figure out who is reading me.  But just as a side note:  All bloggers love comments

What kind of blogs or posts interest you?

I am all about the funny and the sarcastic.  "Boobs, Injuries and Dr. Pepper" along with "Waiter Rant" are two of my favorite reads.  Besides the funny, I love people I can identify with, an example being the WLS peeps.  I love reading them.  Heartfelt is also good and I like REAL bloggers who are Christian.  When I say that, I say, that I am a Christian and I can do my share of cursing and complaining and even looking at things negatively.  But I find that real in so many people and it makes me identify with them.  Being Christian does not make us perfect, just forgiven.

What do you like and dislike about blogging?

I love putting stuff out there.  I love comments.  I love meeting other bloggers.  Dislike?  The only thing I can really think of is when I sign up for things like Blog365 and have days where I have no idea what to write.