Blockage dissipating

I'm trying to get my groove back.

It's been a long two and a half weeks but the mood as finally passed once Aunt Flo visited.  So apparently, my issues have been strictly hormonal, which is both good and bad.  Good in the fact that I know what was causing it and bad because I need to find a way to not go through this every month.  Getting older is so much fun.

But with the passing of the mood, I'm working at finding my place again.  It was terrible to go for so long just not caring...about much of anything.  I didn't internet surf, write, blog (obviously)  or get together much with friends and when I did, I was forcing myself to be cheerful and it was taking every bit of energy I had.  The only thing I really did was read and sleep because they both served as an escape from all the wackiness I was feeling.  But now I'm trying to get over my writer's block, trying to catch up on some house stuff that I let slide when I couldn't deal with anything and just overall working on functioning again. 

God and I talked a lot during those two and a half weeks and he always let me know he was at my side.  As Shell told me one night when I talked to  her, "You're supposed to be going through this right now for some reason." and I always believe that.  I always know that God knows right where I am and that I am right where I am supposed to be, even if I cannot begin to understand the reason.  But even when despair and misery seems to be surrounding me, it's nice to be reminded that I am so not alone and that even though I don't get what is wrong with me, God knows. 

The Brit is also on his hopefully last leg of travel for awhile...at least without the rest of us.  In a matter of about five weeks, he has spent three weeks in Canada and half a week in New York and I have discovered that I miss him when this happens.  What I mean by that, is that I am the girl who was single until I was in my early thirties and very much independent.  Way independent.  I never figured I'd ever need anyone.  Apparently, I was wrong.

We're waffling about what to do for vacation the week after next.  We've changed our minds so many times now.  We're thinking maybe Lancaster, PA for a few days with the kids for a visit to Amish country.  Lancaster has lots to offer, both in fun and in educational value.  I'd also love to see the ocean, but I don't know if we can fit that into our schedule.  I haven't seen it in two years and it is my single most favorite of all of God's creation.  It touches every one of my senses and I could just sit and watch it for hours.  I'm not sure of how anyone can look out at the beauty and vastness of the ocean and think that it was always there or that there is a big bang theory.  It's simply too breathtaking, too amazing and too peaceful.  There is no way that the ocean was anything less than part of a plan.