The Hospital Experience Day 4: Crossing Wires

When the residents came into my room on Friday morning, they informed me that my wbc count had gone from 14000 to 15000 and that they were going to order a chest xray.  When they left, I sighed, got up, washed my face, brushed my teeth, tidied up my room and had a walk through the halls.   Not long after, my yogurt and Carnation Instant breakfast arrived and I sat down to eat it.

I managed to get in two bites of yogurt, when Kim, my nurse, buzzed into the room.

"I'm so sorry.  They're going to do a leak test, so you can't eat."

"Easy come, easy go," I joked with her as she swept away my tray.  I then frowned.  I knew that Dr. Schweitzer did a leak test while I was still on the operating table, "They said a chest xray.  They want a leak test as well?"

"Yes, especially with your wbc count going up."

"And if they find one?"

"I'm not sure what happens.  They may take you back into surgery to fix it."

This was not the news I wanted to hear.  The residents had said nothing about the possibility of a leak.  Besides, I felt fine considering I'd just had surgery three days ago.  When Kim left, I felt myself beginning to panic and again, I felt very alone.  It was still quite early, so the Brit would not even be on his way up yet as he was still getting kids off to school.  I called Paula and explained what was happening and asked her to start the prayer chain for me.  When I hung up the phone with her, I shut off the television (I kept it on all night for the light and the company) and dug my ipod out of the closet.  I set it to play the playlist I'd made just before going into the hospital; the one I titled the same as my music player on this blog: "To Soothe the Soul".

Immediately, the finalists of American Idol began singing "Shout to the Lord" in my ears and I felt a sense of peace start to flood over me.  Song after song played: Amazing Grace, Amazing Love, Empty Me, God With Us.  The next song was one of my favorites: "Hold me Jesus" and as the lyrics played I got lost in them.

When I wake up in the night and feel the dark
And its so hot inside my soul, I swear there must be blisters on my heart.
So hold me, Jesus, cause I'm shaking like a leaf.
You have been King of my glory; won't you be my Prince of Peace?

My eyes were closed as I listened and the most amazing, most comforting image came into my mind.  Jesus was standing behind me, his hands holding onto mine and his cheek against the side of my head.  The vision was so powerful and moving, I felt tears in my eyes.  I was not alone and no matter what happened today, or any day for the rest of my life, I would not be alone.

When they came to take me to xray, I was perfectly calm, chatting with the man who came to wheel me down (he smelled really good!).  My xray tech introduced herself and we did the chest xray.  As she prepared for the leak test, I explained to her what was going on and that they must suspect I had a leak.

"Oh honey, they do this two to three days after every RNY surgery.  It doesn't mean you have a leak.  I had surgery a few years ago and on my second or third day out, my wbc count spiked too.  I think sometimes our bodies are just working on healing."

Relief flooded through me briefly before they made me drink this horrid concoction that made me want to hurl, even though it was only about three gulps.  Nasty does not begin to describe it.  They allowed me to rinse out my mouth afterwards, though I was still convinced I'd have to lick a toilet to get that awful taste out of my mouth.

I got back up to my room and called the Brit to tell him it didn't look like I'd be coming home today and then I walked and listened to music until he and my mom got there.  Not long after they arrived, Dr. Schweitzer stopped in my room.

"You're a troublemaker." He informed me and then went on to explain that though the chest xray and leak test both looked good, he could just not release me until that wbc count went down and I was at peace with that.  As much as I wanted to go home, I respected the fact that he was erring on the side of caution, especially with me being ninety minutes away from the hospital.

I spent much of the day walking, then had a nice nap.  My sister arrived with two adorable stuffed kitties for me as I had remarked to her that I missed the comfort of my cats.  I love my kids, but they would have been a little too much for me yet, but I did miss the feel of a warm cat snuggled up with me.

By the time everyone left that night, I was tired and ready to sleep.  Saturday morning, my wbc count dropped back to 12000 and I was finally released just after lunch.