Thursday 13: The Top Hat Edition

So the California Bucket List edition is being put off because I am not yet ready.� I started researching things yesterday, but am not yet finished and don't really have the time to mess with it right now.� All right?� All right.



As women, I think we have to wear a lot of hats.� Now I'm not talking about baseball verses snow caps.� I am talking about hats of the not physical kind.� We play a lot of roles in a lot of people's lives and our hats become a part of our identity, for that time period when we are wearing that particular hat.�



And the hats are needed.� I can't very well be a mom in my secretary hat or it gets confusing, so I have to switch.� Go into another mode, another thought process, another frame of mind and we have to do it quickly at times.� There are times my hats change three times in thirty seconds and it can be exhausting.�



Some of the hats are mindless; I slip into them without even thinking about it.� When my kids are around, I am Mom.� When I am with just The Brit, I am Wife or Companion.� Fire Pit nights, I am Friend.� These are easy.� Not much thought involved.



Others, for me, take preparation.� If I have to become a speaker in front of people, I have to prepare.� If I am getting ready to go on a�run, I begin to fall into that mode and it is never a good idea to attempt to sway me from my focus.� I wish I could fall in and out of the Running hat easily, but I can't yet.� I have to mentally prepare myself.� I have to push myself mentally and physically and that requires a different mindset.� Once I am committed to the task, it's all I can see in front of me.� I don't want to be swayed at this point because it takes a lot of mental energy for me to just get out there and accept the task at hand.� I love running.� Truly.� But it is not yet second nature.� It is not like the�Wife hat that slips into place with almost no thought.�Wife is easy...it is an easy part of who I am now, though the first few months of being part of a couple was very hard for me.� Not due to lack of love but due to the fact that my norm�was being on my own, making decisions that only affected me. I had to adjust and once I did, all was well.� It was change and it does not always come�effortlessly. �Running, I have only been doing for six months and it is a slow progression.� With every run, I have to set a goal for the run.� I am in training.� I want to run the VA Beach 1/2 in just over a year.�



This time of the year, as I have stated before, the Athlete hat is difficult anyway because there is little to no break from the Mom hat.� I either have to rely on other people or blind trust of my children and the blind trust thing can vary from day to day depending on the boys and how the first half of their day has gone.� So when I know the time frame that my run is going to happen, I begin to mentally prepare the closer I get to that time.� It is a necessity for me and there is no way around it.� If I walk out the door unfocussed and prepared to just "wing it" very little will get accomplished.� I know me.� I need a plan.� Running is HARD.� I think runner wannabes, as I used to be, tend to almost romanticize it a little bit.� People see runners and think how effortless they make it seem.� SO.� NOT. SO.� HARD.� Very hard.



So those who know me have to learn to accept this about me.� I don't want to digress once I am in the mode unless it is a dire emergency.� It has nothing to do with anyone else; it has to do with my ability to prepare mentally.�It's just like when the kids call me at work with an issue (usually of the bickering nature) I�tend to snap at them sometimes because for those four hours a day, my�Employee hat is firmly in place. When I answer the phone at work, assuming it is going to be a work call and it isn't, it holds a certain element of surprise and no time to prepare; only a millisecond. �I have come to realize that the time I drive from work to home during the summer, I am mentally preparing to�change hats from the norm.� I have to�go from Employee to Mom in about ten minutes, where when the kids are in school, I�go from�Employee to Kim, or Athlete�or House Wife as I have a few hours�of alone time to accomplish things without a bunch of thought. �Running during the summer requires thought and planning on my part; what time works best, weather, etc as well as getting mentally prepared to actually RUN. And feeling bad or guilty as I head out the door is also unproductive.� An hour.� One precious hour a day is all I require to keep myself sane.� I gave up smoking.� I no longer do theater apparently.� Food is no longer a hobby.� I need a stress buster and exercise is it.� It helps so much it amazes me.� I was irritable yesterday afternoon; a run, a shower and I no longer felt tied in knots.� It blows my mind a little bit.



So what hats do�you�wear?� Which are the hardest?� Which take preparation because they don't come easily?



My Thursday 13 consists of some of my hats, dashed with a bit of sarcasm and fun, because some of our hats are how we view ourselves in ways that don't make us happy.



1.� Wife

2. Mom

3. Daughter

4. Sibling

5. Maid

6. Chef

7. Referee

8. Sounding Board

9. Athlete

10. Friend

11. Chauffeur

12. Immigrant field (yard) worker

13. Employee



On a side note, I really need two more people to fill in for me the week of June 27th with blog posts!� I have three volunteers so far!� C'mon, you know what wanna!�

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