20 Long Years Ago

So listen...I went Christmas shopping tonight with MyTod and due to the fact that it is almost 11:00 and I am dog tired, I am taking advantage of one of a few guest blog posts Jimnotmike gave to me for such occasions.  He loves comments!  I will be back with you tomorrow.  Promise!

Hello everyone. I'm back again! So lets take a detour from my travels for this post.

What I want to talk about happened 2 nights ago...I cried, HARD! Uncontrollably hard!!!  And here is why...

That photograph. That is me, JimNotMike, 20 years ago. I have no qualms posting it here because no one who doesn't know me would ever recognize me from that photo. I'm not even sure I recognized me from that photo. That was pretty much what the tears were about.

That young, hot, swarthy, tanned, "innocent", STUD is gone, and OMG...so is the hair! I can remember the exact day that photo was taken. I had just been cast as Marcellus Washburn in the Fredericktowne Players production of The Music Man and we were having a dance rehearsal for MY song "The Shipoopi" when I was called outside to take a head-shot for the theatre and program.  I remember thinking, "You're kidding? I look like crap!"

But look at that photo, I don't look like crap. I am full of youthful exuberance and excitement at being cast, in a major role, in the first community theatre show I ever auditioned for. That summer was amazing. Full of discovery...talent I didn't think I had, people I never thought I would meet, loves I never thought I would love, that ended far too quickly (OMG, that is a whole other blog post).

I wonder where he went. Well, I know where the hair went. But seriously, seeing this picture made me wonder why we have to change? Don't get me wrong, I am a firm believer in the fact that change can be good, and usually is. I certainly don't regret who I have become, but I miss that guy. I miss his innocence, his ability, and HIS HAIR! Not to mention those gorgeous lips. 

I think it's ok to miss things, therapeutic in fact. At least that is what I have learned in the past few days. Once I pulled myself together after my minor breakdown I realized that aside from the hair...that is me today, a part huge part of me. I even compared in the mirror to make sure. Those lips are still there, those eyes, that skin tone (even after 20 years of smoking...done now). That youthful exuberance too, when I discover a new city or meet a new person or learn something I didn't think I had the capacity to learn. He is me, and I am him...he just didn't know it yet.

So I am offering a challenge to the folks who read this blog. I would like you to send (jimtravelin@verizon.net) me a picture of yourself from 20 years ago, or 30 years, or however far back you have to go that you don't recognize yourself. Along with that picture, I want you tell me what it is you miss and what parts of yourself you still see lurking in that old photo of you. I think you will be as surprised as I was to find how much of your "young" self is still present in your "older" self. I know I was. Don't be fooled tho, those pictures are bound to make it into a future guest blog of mine. So don't send anything you wouldn't want appearing to Kim's readers. 

Younger JimNotMike would probably be heading out on the town about now or at the very least staying up watching some horrible movie on the TV. But Older JimNotMike is mixing himself a nightcap and heading off to bed. I bet there is a part of Younger JimNotMike who wishes he had done the same.