Getting the Ducks in a Row

It may be a wee bit premature but apparently, I have already started nesting.

No, I am not preparing to lay any eggs, but just as a mama bird soon to be with child prepares the nest for new life, so I have begun preparing my nest for my new life after WLS.  I don't want to have any major projects not accomplished pre-op and there are several cleaning projects that need to be handled here in the next few weeks.  Examples would be the annual "make sense of the walk-in closest" day, tidying up my personal closet day, cleaning up the Brit's closet day, moving oldest son to his own room, and painting the room my younger son will continue to occupy as it is in dire need of paint.  

The way I see it, the projects will keep me occupied and will help to pass the time until insurance approval and surgery dates (see what an optimistic thinker I am?).  

Today was a good day in that it was budget time at the church as well.  I am just starting my third year there and when hired, you get one week of vacation until you have been there like five years.  Last year at raise time, I requested of the council to forego a raise in exchange for an extra week of vacation, which they approved.  Today, being the day the budget was worked out for 2008, the former council president came to me, expressed how happy they all were with the way I did my job, and asked me what I wanted.  I was a bit surprised with it being presented that way, so after I had arranged my thoughts, I told him I would honestly prefer extra time.  It would save the church money and it would keep my time off close to what the Brit has.  I said, it did not have to be a whole week, but just a few extra days.  Well, he gave me a whole third week!  I was very much pleased!
 

TheSix Month Structured Diet faux pas

Okay, so I have a few questions to the WLS world out there that maybe someone can give me some opinions on.

I'm making an assumption that I will probably have surgery in April.  If we are approved in February and the Brit goes first, that may put him at the beginning of March.  We have to go about four weeks apart, so that will put me roughly in April.  My in laws have a timeshare in Florida and they will be there from mid-May till mid-June and we would like to go, but are wondering if that is too soon for us to travel after surgery.

The other thing is the youth group mission trip, which I very much would like to go on again this year.  Now, I am not going to place anything before my surgery, or my health after surgery, please understand.  We will have a backup chaperone in the event I am not feeling up to going (the trip is tentatively slated for June 29-July 4).  My bigger worry is what if I have some kind of complication while in an impoverished area??  Is the trip not a good idea or would I just have to check with my surgeon for a name of a doctor in the area in case of a problem?

I have screwed up with this whole structured diet thing a bit and am now trying to make up for it.  I barely lost anything on WW (like two pounds) and next week marks our second visit to Hopkins for our second month of our second three month structured diet (if you understood that, you are doing better than I did typing it).  Of course, Christmas fell in between the first and second appointments not to mention having company etc.  Yes, these are excuses, but the bottom line is that I do not believe that I lost weight.  So, like a teenager trying to cram for a test, I am trying to show a loss by next week.  I'm combining eating the way I should along with some slim fast, just to meet a number.

I know I am ready for surgery.  There is no doubt in my mind.  But I have been resentful of the six months of structured diets just because I have been dieting almost my whole life and yo-yoing every bit as long.  I know that eating changes come with surgery and I am psyched to get that ball rolling.  I am looking forward to not feeling hungry, to avoiding dumping, to actually losing weight and getting my life back! 

It probably sounds hypocritical but I don't mean to be.  I'm just being honest.

Weekends are apparently photo ops

As promised, less blurry pictures of Guinea, the Guinea pig (yes, my children are nothing if not original...)

Piggy love

It's just one of those days where I have nothing to write about.  The day was uneventful; work, Walmart, home.  After yesterday, uneventful is good.

And though this is the worst picture in the world (my eldest son took it; I promise to get a better one soon), have I mentioned how in love I am with this:

 

Certainty

So today I realized just how badly I want this surgery.  Though I have been working towards it for a few months now, there has always been this little niggling doubt in the back of my head that is continually asking "Are you sure you want to deal with this surgically?"  Today, that question was answered.

I've been growing impatient with submittal now so close at hand, so today, I elected to contact the insurance company just to find out what their approval turnaround timeframe was.  Annie answered the phone and I explained the surgery I was having done and asked about the timeframe, to which she replied "48 hours."  I was pleased as punch.  Then another thought hit me.  The Brit carries our insurance through his employer and his company had been bought out at the end of 2007.  I suddenly felt concerned that something might have changed, so I questioned Annie, who told me that their policy hasn't changed but that I might want to check with the Brit's employer.

As was previously stated, patience is not my virtue, and after hanging up with Annie I came to the conclusion that someone at the insurance company must know if the employer changed anything with our policy.  After all, our surgeon is not going to submit for approval to my husband's company but to the insurance, right?  Of course right.

So I called again and got a young man this time, I forget his name, and I explained my question.  He told me that he could definately check that for me.  I waited patiently for a moment before he said, "Your insurance policy excludes weight loss surgery."  

I suddenly found it hard to breathe, "No," I stated firmly, "I have already been over this.  It WAS included."

"Hang on and let me check last year," Boy Wonder advised but a moment later, he continued, "Your policy didn't include it last year either."

I suddenly felt sick.  There was no way this was happening, "Yes, it did.  I called.  You all even told me that my policy covered gastric bypass but not the lapband.  We've been over all of this."

"I'm sorry.  It says here it is excluded.  I can check with a supervisor if you'd like."

"Yes.  This is wrong.  We haven't done all this prep work for nothing..."

When Boy Wonder placed me on hold, I started crying.  All I could imagine was being fat for the rest of my life, dying early, never being able to ride a bike with my kids, or horseback ride.  Every single dream I had seemed to flash before my eyes like a glimpse of the sun before the storm clouds surround it.

I held for probably five minutes and Boy Wonder came back and explained that they were still checking into it, that they were finding conflicting information with the notes on the account.  He promised they were working to get me an answer.

"It has to be the right answer." I insisted, barely managing to control the shaking of my voice.

Another five minutes and he came back and asked if they could call me back; that he and Christy were working on it.  I hung up and sobbed.  This felt like a nightmare.  There was no way we could afford surgery without it being covered.  Maybe for one of us, but not for both!  I had given Boy Wonder my cell number and I shakily got my things together to go home.

I was supposed to go antique shopping with my inlaws, but I knew I could never go.  How go I even go home and not burst into tears? 

I was just coming up the back of the park, about a block from home when my cell phone rang and I immediately pulled over to answer it.  It was Christy and she assured me we were indeed covered.

"I'm so sorry," She explained, "But it is almost hidden in your policy!  I'm a supervisor and I couldn't find it.  I'm going to note your account with today's date and my name, so if you call again, tell the rep to refer to that.  I'll note exactly where in your policy it is."

I got home and noted in my calendar Christy's name and that she was noting the account that it was a covered benefit.  It took me almost an hour for my heart to start beating normally again.

But now, I do know that I want this surgery...very much.

Addictions

In the last two months, we have had lots of company.  

Now I love me some company; I can share my living space with damn near anyone.  We're going on three weeks with my inlaws here from England and I have especially enjoyed the company.  While I am not as much the anti-television person my mother in law is, I am also not as much the television guru that my husband is.  It's been nice to have someone to actually talk to other than at dinner time.  

I can give up my quiet time, my normally fairly tidy house, I can even deal with the cat bowls being moved from the kitchen table (two of the felines hate to eat with the other four) to the hutch...promising Hannah and Jasmine to just deal with it for another week and all will be well with their world.  But I beg of you, give me my vacuum cleaner.

I think I have mentioned before my unnatural attachment to my Dyson.  I love it and even more importantly, I love using it.  There is something cathartic about being able to quickly sweep away all that is dirty or does not belong.  I am downright compulsive about picking up every single teeny tiny bit of lint, cat hair, dirt and child's snacks that have fallen on the floor and I do this every single day.  Except lately.

Having to work in the mornings, I generally continue my vacuuming affair after work, but with my mother in law here, she had been doing it in the mornings after I leave.  Though I am most grateful for the help (I really do appreciate it) I miss my vacuum and to be honest, no one else vacuums in the same methodic way that I do.  I can generally still see stuff on the floors when I come home from work, and I itch to satisfy my addiction, but to re-vacuum would be rude.  It would seem unappreciative though that is not the case at all.  She can dust, do laundry, anything she wants, just leave the Dyson to me.

Of course, I will never tell her this because that would involve explaining that I am somewhat of a freak. So just forgive me if I twitch now and then while they are still here. 

Blog 365

So, since I had such great success with NaBloPoMo this year, (insert sarcastic eye rolling here) I thought I'd sign up to do it 365 days in 2008.  I mean, if I can't make 31 days, surely I can make 365, right?  Whatever.  I'm going to have to give Robyn a crash course in godaddy so that she can update me during my surgery days and she has thankfully agreed to do so.  So at least that is three days covered in 2008

The holidays are now over and I breath a sigh of relief.  Though I enjoy them, by New Year's Day, I am ready for the kidlets to go back to school and am tired of vacuuming up pine needles from the tree.  It probably goes hand in hand with my obsession with cleaning and things being tidy, but there you have it.  

Christmas was nice though and the kids were pleasantly surprised with their gifts.  Among the favorites were the guinea pig, the ipod and the plasma car.  Their bio-grandparents saw them minimally as we're just tired of them pushing the envelope about their real last names and their sperm donor, aka bio-dad.  Play by my rules or don't play at all.   I want to nurture that relationship between the grandparents and the kids, however, not at the expense of my children being shoved from pillar to post and pressured into remembering what their bio last names were.  Ya know what?  Who the hell cares?  It's not their last name anymore and that is the only piece of it that anyone needs to remember. 

<end vent>

So tomorrow it is back to work for me, dealing with the church lady, who is driving me crazy.  I'm feeling very anxious this month with insurance submittal so close at hand.  My fear is that they will deny me for some reason and then of course, I will appeal.  I just don't want the prolonging of it due to an appeal. 

I've also decided to back away from a few things for a bit that are causing me some angst.  Sometimes I can be super sensitive, I know that, but then there are times when I feel hurt by something I suspect and maybe that is wrong, but it is still the way it is.  So it is time to take a step back and review the situation and then decide where to go from there.

We'll see how it all pans out.