Certainty

So today I realized just how badly I want this surgery.  Though I have been working towards it for a few months now, there has always been this little niggling doubt in the back of my head that is continually asking "Are you sure you want to deal with this surgically?"  Today, that question was answered.

I've been growing impatient with submittal now so close at hand, so today, I elected to contact the insurance company just to find out what their approval turnaround timeframe was.  Annie answered the phone and I explained the surgery I was having done and asked about the timeframe, to which she replied "48 hours."  I was pleased as punch.  Then another thought hit me.  The Brit carries our insurance through his employer and his company had been bought out at the end of 2007.  I suddenly felt concerned that something might have changed, so I questioned Annie, who told me that their policy hasn't changed but that I might want to check with the Brit's employer.

As was previously stated, patience is not my virtue, and after hanging up with Annie I came to the conclusion that someone at the insurance company must know if the employer changed anything with our policy.  After all, our surgeon is not going to submit for approval to my husband's company but to the insurance, right?  Of course right.

So I called again and got a young man this time, I forget his name, and I explained my question.  He told me that he could definately check that for me.  I waited patiently for a moment before he said, "Your insurance policy excludes weight loss surgery."  

I suddenly found it hard to breathe, "No," I stated firmly, "I have already been over this.  It WAS included."

"Hang on and let me check last year," Boy Wonder advised but a moment later, he continued, "Your policy didn't include it last year either."

I suddenly felt sick.  There was no way this was happening, "Yes, it did.  I called.  You all even told me that my policy covered gastric bypass but not the lapband.  We've been over all of this."

"I'm sorry.  It says here it is excluded.  I can check with a supervisor if you'd like."

"Yes.  This is wrong.  We haven't done all this prep work for nothing..."

When Boy Wonder placed me on hold, I started crying.  All I could imagine was being fat for the rest of my life, dying early, never being able to ride a bike with my kids, or horseback ride.  Every single dream I had seemed to flash before my eyes like a glimpse of the sun before the storm clouds surround it.

I held for probably five minutes and Boy Wonder came back and explained that they were still checking into it, that they were finding conflicting information with the notes on the account.  He promised they were working to get me an answer.

"It has to be the right answer." I insisted, barely managing to control the shaking of my voice.

Another five minutes and he came back and asked if they could call me back; that he and Christy were working on it.  I hung up and sobbed.  This felt like a nightmare.  There was no way we could afford surgery without it being covered.  Maybe for one of us, but not for both!  I had given Boy Wonder my cell number and I shakily got my things together to go home.

I was supposed to go antique shopping with my inlaws, but I knew I could never go.  How go I even go home and not burst into tears? 

I was just coming up the back of the park, about a block from home when my cell phone rang and I immediately pulled over to answer it.  It was Christy and she assured me we were indeed covered.

"I'm so sorry," She explained, "But it is almost hidden in your policy!  I'm a supervisor and I couldn't find it.  I'm going to note your account with today's date and my name, so if you call again, tell the rep to refer to that.  I'll note exactly where in your policy it is."

I got home and noted in my calendar Christy's name and that she was noting the account that it was a covered benefit.  It took me almost an hour for my heart to start beating normally again.

But now, I do know that I want this surgery...very much.