Just Ramblings

So, remember that thing I said about not blogging when my emotions were kind of crazy and trying to be clear-headed when writing?  Yeah.  Well, that's what I'm doing, which is the reason for a lack of entries from me this week.  I'm just sitting back and taking it all in and trying to figure out how things are going to turn out.  Right now, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that I never requested to ride, especially since roller coasters kind of make me queasy.  There have been a few "blasts" from a past I don't really care to remember that have left me feeling rather defensive, but yet, I'm not at all sure of what it means just yet.  I've never liked feeling invisible and had thought I'd left that in the past.  I'm still hoping that maybe I have.

No matter where God puts me in this life, I know it is where I'm meant to be.  But still with that being said there are places that he puts me, that I'm not really sure of what the reasoning is, so I just have to wait it out until it all becomes clear...and he has always made it clear.  I know he will this time as well.  When I put my trust in God, I know that it has to be for the times when things don't feel "right" as well as for the times when I am perfectly content with where he has placed me.  But despite how I feel, I also know that it has nothing to do with me, anymore than it has anything to do with any of us.  It doesn't matter what our successes nor our failures are, it doesn't matter how good we feel about ourselves or what inadequacies someone may or may not heap upon us, what matters is what God's will is in all of it.  It's not about us.  Ever.  And I don't think God cares about any of our successes or failures, but I think he cares more about how we relate to each other and how much humility and compassion we extend to our brothers and sisters.  What matters is how we treat each other and do we exude the kind of love that Jesus showed to all he touched. 

I think it is very easy for us to get caught up in our own agendas and to focus on our prize as opposed to THE prize; the promise that God gave to us. 

Lord, help me to be more like you, though I will always fall far short.  Don't let me forget how much more people matter than pride or personal gain.  You died for people, showing us no greater love.  Help us all to continue to reach out to each other in that love you first showed us.  Amen.