So, here's the deal

Obviously, I have been involved in some turmoil this past week and I've debated whether or not to post anything at all about it.  The reason I wasn't posting about it was because I was afraid that the person who has had me upset might read it, but then I realized how hypocritical that was of me.  I have stated here more than once that this is my diary, but I go that one step further with allowing anyone who stumbled across this site to read it.  So, if you think you may have upset me lately, you may not want to read any further.



I have never, ever been good at confrontation, but I have always been able to put my feelings into words rather well.  I don't like having a face to face conversation with someone I'm upset with, about being upset with them.  To avoid the confrontation, I will simply brush off what they did or say stupid things like "It's all right." or "I understand."  So, needless to say, I do not plan on confronting this person anytime soon unless this person does something to make me angry and I lose my temper.



Titles sometimes have to earned by more than a degree.  An example of that would be that though my kids have a person who gave birth to them, this person by no means was their "mother".  That is a title that had to be earned and due to personal problems and bad decisions, bio-mom dropped the ball on that one.  The same could be said of doctors or pastors.  A degree does not make you either one of those things, it simply states that you are supposedly qualified to do it.  However, if you don't act like what it is you are supposesd to be, it is difficult if not impossible for people to see you as your title.



In the past week, a person of "title" has not really acted to me, in accordance with how they should act.  I've been treated rudely, such as being cut off in mid-sentence  while this person says, "This conversation is obviously over because I'm walking away."  This person has assumed that my time means nothing.  This person has insinuated that I may need to look for another job.  Though I think he was kidding, in the words of my seventy-something year old knitting friend, Micki, "That's not funny."  There have also been numerous other things that have added up over the last week.  This person doesn't like to reply to the phrase "Good morning" as the two times I have offered it, it has been met with a question about something or other.



I'm trying to chalk it up to nerves or to trying to fit into a position and finding footing, but what strikes me as rudeness or arrogance I can't excuse.  People are supposed to treat each other with kindness, respect and dignity and I have very few if any excuses for anything other than that.  I can honestly say that I, too, have been nervous and on edge as well with this new situation, but now everytime I am going to journey into this situation again, I am filled with a sense of dread and a need to get it over with as quickly as possible.



I'm praying for things to turn around.  There is nothing I'd like more than to think of this person as what the degree states.  But still, it has to be earned.