Together Wherever We Go

Would you believe I just had half a post here and IE decided to stop working and it erased the whole thing?  Hate it when that happens.

Anyway, I've read on some message boards and in a few blogs how people's relationships can change after WLS and the thought of that happening to me just wigs me out.  The reason is because I have this awesome group of girlfriends who I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.  They know who they are, Lisa, Kelly, Robyn, Mandy, Paula, Shell.  They have been nothing short of supportive about this whole thing.  I sat next to one last summer and finally confessed that I was considering WLS.  I watched another of these girls talk to a WLS patient about what they could do to help me post op.  Another gal has already offered to intercept my kids if need be while I am in the hospital and another is on standby for me (without my asking) to be wherever she needs to be while I am in Baltimore.  Others have simply said "Let me know what you need to me do."  They've been amazing and even though many of us are not physically together all that often (a few times a month if we are lucky) I can feel their support loud and clear through cyberspace.  

So the mere thought of things changing, rather distresses me and I've been trying to figure out what would cause anyone's friendships to change after WLS.  One of those things I suppose would be a change in the patient's role within the circle of friends, but I really don't think that applies to us.   I don't think I am anymore the "fat friend" as another girl is the "animal advocate friend" or the "kind hearted friend".  We all just are who we are, not what we are.

I suppose that friends could get tired of hearing about the patients post-op and that one is hard.  I plan on trying really hard to keep myself in check, but I gotta say, I am for awhile gonna be like a kid on Christmas morning.  I don't remember much about being six years old and that was the last age where I was at a normal, healthy weight.  Even if I could remember back that far, a six year old mentality does not allow for thoughts of "Wow!  I'm healthy and thin!  This is cool!"  What I'm saying is that when it comes to not being obese...I have no point of reference.  This is always what I have been.  I have never been able to shop in normal size clothing stores, so that's going to be a really big deal for me.  I'm very used to buying something because it fits and less because I actually like it.  At my weight, clothing options are limited and we wind up paying way more for them.  I'm looking forward to being able to shop.  Hell, I'm looking forward to getting my butt into some clothes in my closet that I HAVE NEVER WORN!  Bought 'em, didn't fit, put them in the closet and wait for Someday to arrive.  I haven't been able to ride a bike since I was a teenager (and I was overweight then), I can't go upstairs without gasping for air, I can't sit on the floor without spending the whole time I'm there, worrying about getting back up again.  I can't get seats for an event without praying that the person sitting next to me is going to be tiny so that I have enough room and that I'm not spilling out onto their seat. 

What I'm saying is that there are going to be these amazing moments where I'm going to try not to blurt out "OMG, I fit!" or "I got up and it was so easy!"  I don't want people to think I am trying to draw attention to myself; I am actually experiencing something as a normal sized person would experience it!  Those little moments, I long for!  On the same token, my friends, don't let me be obnoxious.  I'd like to think I won't be, but again, I am travelling someplace I've never been before and I don't know how I'll react to it until I'm there.  But if I get annoying, please tell me.  I won't get offended and I love you all enough to not want to make you want to hit me. 

The first few months are going to be tough and there may even be moments where you are sure I regret having had the surgery.  I have to learn a whole new way to eat and relate to food and for a couple of months my energy level is not going to be up to par as I recover.  This is all normal stuff and I am sure I'll bounce back sooner rather than later. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is be honest with me.  Keep the lines of communication open.  I may be oblivious at times, so don't let me be.  I've read enough on line about strained friendships to try to be vigilant of my own behavior, but if you need to point it out, then point it out. 

Ya'll are a big part of my life and I'd like to keep it that way.