Not Your Normal Vacation Rollar Coaster

So sometimes you come on vacation to de-stress and walk right into a hornet's nest.



My brother in law, Jim, husband to my sister, Connie, who live in Henderson, NV, had a triple bypass on Monday.� He came through the surgery fine and then coded.� They were unable to get his heart started and put him on bypass and took him back into surgery.� This was on Monday, after we, my foursome, my brother, Doug, sister in law, Margaret, their 15 year old son, JJ and their two grandkids, Chloe and Ed (ages 5 and 3) spent the morning at Seaport Village and the day at the San Diego Zoo.� We got the call at dinner that things had not gone well, so we packed up, loaded our crap and all the kids into cars and drove to Nevada in the middle of the night, arriving at 4:30 AM.� Connie was a mess of course, so we stayed with her awhile and then drove to our hotel for about four hours of sleep.



Jim had a lot of health problems going into surgery.� Besides his heart, he is a diabetic and has had problems with blood clots since the late 70s.� When he came out of surgery the first time, apparently the arteries they had done the work on (four in total) clotted right up, causing the heart to stop.� The doctor's said they had never seen anything like it.� Though they did CPR on him the whole time, there is great concern about brain damage.� The first two days after surgery, there was involuntary leg movement, which was a good sign, but today that ceased.� They did an EEK which we will have the results for tomorrow.



I do not look for this to end well for Connie.� I hope for the best but am not expecting it.� Jim and I were never close and I have not seen him for 15 years and even longer before that.� The last time I remember seeing him before that was when I was a kid growing up in California.� When Connie comes to visit us, Jim stays home.� But he loves my sister and that is enough.



Doug and Connie are very close, so we took our role as taking care of the kids, taking them swimming, to Hoover Dam and to see the lions at MGM.�



Now�the hard part.� Were we to stay in Vegas the whole trip?� I have two kids with me and this is their vacation too.� If Jim dies, my kids have never met him and I am not crazy about their first meeting being at a funeral.� If there is brain damage, Connie will pull the plug as she has said again and again that he would not want to live that way.� So after talking to Doug and Margaret today, and getting a push from them, we are departing Vegas on Saturday as planned.



Does this come without guilt?� Not at all.� The only way I would be guilt free, is if things look hopeful from the EEG but I don't think that will happen.� But if he dies, there is nothing for me to do here really.� Connie has a great support system here and if I stay, I can't fix her llife in a week.� It will take time and adjustment as I went through all this with my mother when my dad died.� Doug said that due to geography, the responsibility of taking care of family more relies with those living on the same coast, which is true.� I have supported Connie this week and will continue to do so as best I can.



I'm just not sure there is an easy decision here at all.