My Hero

Isn't it odd how there are suddenly moments when we feel overcome with emotion?� I had one of those moments this morning as I had to take The Lawyer to school as his bus was late and I could not leave for work until I knew he was safely on his way to school.� So, it was easier and faster for me to just take him, plus for someone who struggles with patience, taking him was being active as opposed to sitting and waiting for the already late bus.



As I dropped him off, I suddenly felt teary as I came to a sudden realization that this child, for all his arguments, is my hero.� When I was his age, I carried extra weight on me, but the fact remains that given the right tools and motivation, I could have lost the weigh.� The Genius, who is ADHD, is able to hide his disorder.� He looks normal on the outside as no one can see the way his brain functions.� Yes, he has his own challenges, but they are better hidden from the world.



The Lawyer, however, was born without digits on his left hand.� His "handicap", which has never really been a handicap for him, is out there for everyone to see, to stare at, to question, and children especially will always question someone or something that is different from themselves.� The Lawyer is not always comfortable answering these questions but yet he does, with a simple "I was born that way."� I can see at times he is self conscious about it as when going into a new situation with new people, he will pull his jacket down to hide it.� I won't go out of the house without makeup on...but he goes out every single day with his difference, prepared to face any questions, and on occasion, teasing that comes his way.



The children he has been in school with the last six years now know him as they have been in the same school together for that time.� He wins them over quickly as he is outgoing and heaven knows, talkative.� But in the sixth grade, several elementary schools merge into middle school and The Lawyer will be confronted with kids who don't know him and it begins for him all over again.� Middle school is also the age where children can be the cruelest and I suddenly wanted to weep this morning thinking about it, about the challenges he faces.� I found myself wishing with my entire heart, that I could give him that hand back; not a substitute hand, but the real thing.� I wish I could make that I had given birth to him and he was perfect, with no external flaws for anyone to gawk at or to question.



But that is but a wish that cannot come true.� Yes, there are prothesis, which he has not yet had a need for, but that is still a difference.� I can't change for him this part of what life has dealt him, no matter how much I want to.� But then I think to myself that in God's eyes, and mine, he is wonderfully and perfectly made.� I know that his ability to cope with this is going to make him stronger in the long run, that he will develop skills that some of us can only wish we had.� That knowledge does not make me want any less for things to be different for him, but it does change my wish to a prayer that The Lawyer always handles his difference with grace, that he never takes cruel words thrown his way to heart nor does he retaliate them and that he comes to know just how perfect he is in the eyes of his heavenly Father and his parents.



I may be PMSing as these kinds of emotions usually don't overcome me.� I look at The Lawyer and rarely see his "little hand", but today I was just overcome with all he must deal with on a daily basis.



On a South Beach note, I finally had a bowel movement and dropped two more pounds for a total of 8 so far.� Told ya.