Every Blessing You Pour Down

Lacy was talking about something the other day on her blog that got me to thinking.

When things are going well and it seems that God is raining down his blessings, should we fear that they might run out for us?

Let me explain it better.  One of the reasons that I have the amount of peace that I do with my surgery is that I've always kind of felt that in many ways, God has allowed me to lead a bit of a "charmed" life.   Yes, I have had my share of tough times and heartaches and some dreams I have had to let go of, but when it came right down to the deepest desires of my heart, God always comes through for me.

The two immediate things that come to mind are the Brit and the kids (well, the kids can be like a blessing/curse depending on the day of the week ).  I knew I wanted to marry an Englishman from the time I was eighteen because of a childhood infatuation with a British actor and you can actually read about that whole thing here for part one and here for part two as I was fortunate enough to be asked to be a guest writer on Lynn's blog some time ago.  But when I was 32, God answered my very specific prayer.

The same thing happened with the kids.  I couldn't conceive and God brought me the children he wanted me to have.  Even in the smaller things, I just feel so blessed; working for my church, part-time, our home, our neighborhood, just countless things I see as amazing blessings, especially as 11 years ago, I was a single gal living paycheck to paycheck and working very much full time in a very stressful job.  I was just so in debt, that I could barely keep my head above water.  Now, look what God has done!

The other part of this thought process for me is that I have never done things the normal way.  Again, just looking at the two examples.  I met my Brit technically over the internet instead of meeting the old fashioned way and dating, etc.  My kids, I adopted, through social services and they came with their own special challenges.

So I suppose that I see this surgery not only as a blessing from God, but also as a continuation of my pattern of not being able to do things the "normal" way.  I've tried diet and exercise, many times, but it hasn't worked in the long term.  So, in a way, when people may wonder how it is possible that I'm going through with this, maybe what needs to be considered is that I am simple following the pattern of who God made me to be; someone who is not afraid to step out of what may be conceived as normal or traditional.

I also think that God knows that I have so much more I want to give back to him and though I don't need a smaller, healthier body to serve God, to serve him in the ways I would like to, with the comfort level I would like to, requires it for me.  I want to be the girl who is not afraid to raise her hands in praise in an arena of several thousand women without drawing attention to "The fat girl".  I want to be able to work on repairing the homes of those who live in poverty while at the same time bringing God's grace to those who may know little of it.  My body needs to be able to "fit" into the places where God needs me to be.

And I so want to be there.