Expectations

Sorry that I haven't updated but it has been an insane week.



After a few very bad days, mom seems to be doing better.� She insists she looks like Frankenstein (she doesn't and even if she did it is healing.) and won't listen when I tell her a freakin' paper cut takes longer than two days to heal.� Have had to push the issue of food so she will eat.� The pain in her ear is really bothering her as well though I think that has subsided a bit today.�



So that is where I have been the last few days, and the situation is pretty normal where The Chosen One (the other sibling who lives the closest...about 15 minutes from mom) and his spouse is concerned.� Let me preface this by saying it is a privilege to be able to take care of my mother; that is not where my annoyance comes into play.� Not at all.� The annoyance comes into play by the ASSUMPTION that it is okay and apparently even expected by The Chosen One for me to take off work when there is a family crisis.� My job apparently is not as important as either of theirs, nor is my vacation time, because apparently I don't work as hard as they do...or something.� They have no children nor pets.� Just jobs and each other.� So anything family related that requires actual TIME is my department...not that they actually ever assigned this to me.�



It would just be nice to be considered by them.� For him to maybe say "Are you okay with work and the kids to be able to be here?"� But see, I don't get that.� I get assumptions.� And expectations.�



When my dad was dying, they would come into the house after work, sit back and�chat with him for 30�minutes (he was in the bed most of the time at this point), come out to the kitchen and eat their dinner, go for a "power walk" through the neighborhood, come back and say their goodbyes.� Their schedule cannot be�moved.� No matter how much of a priority exercise is to me, other things take precedence.� I haven't seen the gym since Monday, but they would not change their schedule for a dying father.�



Maybe it all comes down to what people are able to deal with, or with what they can live with.� Again, I am fine taking care of whoever needs to be taken care of, it would just be nice for them to say "Is this okay?" other than to just assume it is when I am balancing a parent who is not well, two children, a job that I have no back-up for, and a husband and house and six cats.� Just a "Is this okay?" or a "Thank you for doing this." does a lot for hard feelings.�



Anyway, with that being said, I have also had a few angels in my life this week:



Robyn, thank you for staying the last three nights with mom so I can go home and tend to parenting and the other things I need to get done without having to worry about mom being alone.� It means more than you know.



The Brit, you have been wonderful about bandage changes�and your presence with mom is so calming.� It is amazing.� I love you and thank you for doing it without complaint.



Margaret, you are never a pest, but a blessing in my life.� Your gift of being able to call me on the phone and pray with me for the situation and just knowing that you "get it" had done wonders for me this week.



Paula, thank�you for just checking in and for offering to round up a few meals I�can take to mom.� She hasn't felt like cooking or eating much, so this was such a gift to simplify things.



And for the multitude of people�that through�Facebook and email have told me they are praying for her.� It is a tremendous gift that is so appreciated.



So there you go.� Happy Friday to each of you.� I am going out with a group of fun and awesome people tonight to alleviate the stress of the week.� Hope each of you is doing the same!