The ties that choke us

Sometimes it's really hard to write about stuff here because I don't always want to use names and I don't want anyone getting any wrong ideas. 

I have recently come to the conclusion that I have certain traits that I inherited from another member of my family that I'm not really sure I want.  I love this family member, and in all honesty, growing up, I think we are sometimes blind to the truth about those we love.  And it has nothing to do with this person being "bad" or anything along those lines.  It has to do with my own insecurities about certain aspects of my life and know being able to more clearly see where I get these problems from.

The first one to point it out to me was actually a friend and when she pointed out the shortcomings that I had learned from, you could have knocked me over with a feather.  I had never seen it before; in fact, I really didn't even believe it.  Then recent events led me to have this discussion with a few other family members, who also said the same things as my friend did.  So now I am faced with coming to terms with things about someone that I also see reflected in myself...and I don't like it.

When we get something honestly that we don't want, how do we change it in ourselves?  Is it even possible to do?  I always thought there was some kind of defect in me; I never dreamed they were more learned behaviors stemming from childhood.  I just didn't see it before now and now that I do see it, it almost screams at me daily.  How do I fight against it?  Can I change what has been ingrained on my soul?  While I have probably also gotten good traits from this person, it is the not so good ones that are plaguing me right now; the ones I didn't see before.  I don't want them. 

I have to come up with a post for Kim's blog as I'll be guest writing a day for her while she is away this weekend, so look for me!