Stress and Food

One day closer to Friday.  Did I mention that the kids are spending the four day weekend with their grandma?

I have been a little lax on the gym since about the time the insanity with the holidays started and I have been trying to get back into the swing of things.  With The Brit being gone and the kids more apt to test me, I don't like not being home when the eldest son gets home from school at 2:35 as he is the one who tends to look for trouble.  Though The Brit is not physically at home when the eldest gets home, I guess just knowing he is only ten minutes away is scary enough that generally there isn't trouble when The Brit is in town.  But with him in Aussie, there is just too much temptation, so yesterday when I had my sleep doc appointment, that took up enough time that I would have been unable to work out and then be home by 2:35.  I got there Monday and today, though today I had to cut it a little bit short due to having to go have my CPAP machine set back to 15 and purchase a gold plated new mask.  I figure for $120 there has to be gold in there somewhere.

I'll get to the gym tomorrow and plan to go on Friday after the kids leave and before my sleep study.  Monday I meet with the trainer, Jerry again, as I need a refresher course on the things he taught me before Christmas.  So, with all that being said, I continue to hold at 100 pounds lost, which is wonderful.

Only I'm not satisfied with that.  I don't want to be finished.

But I've been making mistakes.  Mistakes such as snacking on Reduced Fat White Cheddar Cheez Its and eating pasta more than once a week maximum.  Now compared to my life last January, in comparison, these things are not bad, but for my life, they are.  Part of it is emotional eating and I know that.  Single parenting stresses me out.  Being the only adult in the house at night, stresses me out.  Being the only parent the kids can bounce stuff off of, stresses me out.  I know, wah, wah, wah.  But it does contribute to my snacking and I know it.  Before I would smoke but I gave that up.  Now, I can at least still manage to eat a small portion of something I don't really need to be eating to try to counteract my stressers. 

Granted, again, a year ago, my comfort food for stress might have entailed a trip to Burger King or a stop at a convenience store for a chocolate fix, or even cinnamon stuffed pancakes from Bob Evans (OMG how I miss those!  But never again..).  But my new life also has things I don't need to be eating.  No, those things are not as bad as any of the above mentioned foods, but that doesn't place them in the catagory of "good" either. 

Life will hopefully soon be back to it's new normal, with all family members at home and the holidays now completely behind us.  In the meantime, I continue to work diligently to get myself back on course so I can continuing dropping weight instead of maintaining.

Sure do wish they could do surgery on our heads....