BAD WEEKEND. It didn't start out bad....not completely though I think life was giving me warnings on Friday when little shit was going wrong. I had a sleep over on Friday night with some of my dearest friends in the world and had an amazing time. The Brit was taking the Red Eye home from San Francisco and the kids were at grandma's for the night. We had four bottles of wine, played games, laughed a lot and went to bed very late.
Woke up Saturday to finding out that The Genius had gotten up in the middle of the night at grandma's and took her car for a spin. He doesn't have a license and has not yet done driver's education because we won't let him until he becomes motivated enough to get a job. He drove from Clear Spring to McDonalds and then to Williamsport. When heading back to grandma's house he was pulled over by the police and will have to go to court. I guess as he was in the grandparent's care and their car, the police called them and left us a voice mail at home, where no one was, so we did not know about it until 10:00 Saturday morning...which bothers me a little bit.
After talking to a therapist through my EAP, I went out, picked him up and took him to the hospital for an evaluation. They asked him a million questions. He was pretty emotional, not suicidal and very shaken up. Said he had never been so scared as he was when he was pulled over. He and I actually had a really good conversation. I figured it was of little use to be yelling; he only shuts down. He always has. I learned some thinks through the therapist's questions that I had never known before- such as that his bio-dad used to smack around his bio-mom. He remembers that, but very little else about his childhood.
The therapist and I talked privately and she was wonderful. She had seen many other adopted kids like The Genius and was knowledgeable about them. She recommended a therapist and when I explained his last therapist she shook her head and said "He doesn't need a buddy-he needs an aggressive therapist." She also wants a meds re-evaluation. She said she would have diagnosed him that day on depressive something or other but I forget the term she used. She said that some things that can help these kinds of kids are over-praising what he does right, hugging often etc. She told me without my having to tell her that she knew I barely knew this kid because he is a closed book and she knew my stress levels with him were through the rough, but she said lots of hugging, even if I don't feel it. That's a hard one for me, because I am not overly huggy anyway, but I am trying. We have had several good conversations since yesterday which feels like a good start if I can keep him talking. Per the therapist, he is not longer allowed to answer questions we ask him with "yes, no, I don't know or fine." She said he had lots of stuff deep down in his gut that need to come out and she is hoping with a good therapist, in six months time, we will see a difference in him.
But it has been stressful at my house. The Brit is still not speaking to him which is frustrating and fruitless in my opinion. I know we all get upset with him as he pulls some stunts and he always has, but I still think we have to work through it all together. Being a mom, this scared me too as no matter how not close I have felt to this child, I still hope that one day he can live a normal life. If he can't, I at least want to know I have done all I could for him. He has always had issues and has always been closed off and so far, no therapist has been able to reach him. I am hoping that one with a reputation for being aggressive might be able to do just that.
So long weekend....
There may be another interesting story in the next day or two that has nothing to do with my kids...will keep you posted.
Maybe you just need a new keyboard??? I have spares, let me know.
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