Thursday, December 31, 2009

The Year in Review 2009

2009 has been a bit of a tumultuous year, but it has also been a year of positive things at the same time. Not all the happenings were good and the bad was very bad, but regardless of the bad, I can't completely disregard the year because of the bad.

The worst part of 2009 was losing The Brit's mum in April. Loss is hard enough when it is expected and when those we love grow older, we start to occasionally think about losing those people. But when the loss is sudden, it tends to leave you reeling for a long time. Daphne's passing was like that. The whole thing did and at times, still does feel surreal. I didn't see her every day so often I had to remind myself she was gone. The good part about the whole thing is that she had cancer and went Home almost immediately after diagnosis, which meant she did not have a long, drawn out period of suffering with the illness if she could not be cured. Of course, sudden loss is harder on the family and I know my father-in-law especially still has a difficult time of it. The kids may have lost a parent, but he lost a life partner. It is something every couple will probably endure; the passing of a half with the other part of the whole left behind, but my guess is that until it is experienced, no one can imagine how hard it really is. I think he is doing fairly well considering and I am hopeful he will come to pay us a visit soon.

2009 was a year of renewing some old friendships/acquaintances. Shiloh and I have become friends, which I'm not sure we were before when we worked in hell. But even before her cancer diagnosis, there was a friendship in the making, which I believe is now undergoing steady growth. It was also a year of spending time with some people I had not spent much time with in awhile; Tod, Missy from high school, Ade and Chris in England, Amaya and Dave. There were also new friendships, such as Jimnotmike and Emily and Davenotfred. Good stuff and positive things as you can never have too many people in your corner when you need them.

For me personally, 2009 was a year of becoming more athletic. I walked my first 5 mile walk. I have started running. I cardio kickbox and love it. I find that as I grow in physical strength, I grow in confidence. It's still hard for me to think of being in the best shape of my life thus far at 43, yet it remains the truth. I'm still hoping to hit that size 14; I have not given up on it.
I think those are the biggest highlights of 2009. Sure, there were many little but still significant things, such a Fire Pit Frenzy Friday nights, but the biggest things to come from that were the friendships I have already mentioned. I got to spend another year with my amazing youth group, and my kids have grown a year older, as have I. I still think age is just a number and it is how we feel mentally and physically that matters...I think I am no more than 25.

Resolutions? A few. I am resolving to try harder, to be healthier, to consume cleaner things. I want to train to run a 5k. I want to try to cut out or at least cut back on my Splenda consumption and that will be a slow process. That will mean non-sweetened coffee and drinking plain water with no Crystal Lite. That will be a process. With the Crystal Lite, I can easily consume the amount of water a day I should. Without it, that will be a greater challenge. There are other little things that are escaping me right now. None are pass or fail scenarios; they are just resolutions to try harder to accomplish the things I want to accomplish. I plan to blog more and maybe even give the blog a little makeover. We'll see.

So what about you guys? What has stood out for you in 2009 and what are your plans for 2010?

Have a safe and happy New Year all!

The Year in Review 2009 and Am I Resolving Anything?

2009 has been a bit of a tumultuous year, but it has also been a year of positive things at the same time.  Not all the happenings were good and the bad was very bad, but regardless of the bad, I can't completely disregard the year because of the bad. 

  • The worst part of 2009 was losing The Brit's mum in April.  Loss is hard enough when it is expected and when those we love grow older, we start to occasionally think about losing those people.  But when the loss is sudden, it tends to leave you reeling for a long time.  Daphne's passing was like that.  The whole thing did and at times, still does feel surreal.  I didn't see her every day so often I had to remind myself she was gone.  The good part about the whole thing is that she had cancer and went Home almost immediately after diagnosis, which meant she did not have a long, drawn out period of suffering with the illness if she could not be cured.  Of course, sudden loss is harder on the family and I know my father-in-law especially still has a difficult time of it.  The kids may have lost a parent, but he lost a life partner.  It is something every couple will probably endure; the passing of a half with the other part of the whole left behind, but my guess is that until it is experienced, no one can imagine how hard it really is.  I think he is doing fairly well considering and I am hopeful he will come to pay us a visit soon.


  • 2009 was a year of renewing some old friendships/acquaintances.  Shiloh and I have become friends, which I'm not sure we were before when we worked in hell.  But even before her cancer diagnosis, there was a friendship in the making, which I believe is now undergoing steady growth.  It was also a year of spending time with some people I had not spent much time with in awhile; Tod, Missy from high school, Ade and Chris in England, Amaya and Dave.  There were also new friendships, such as Jimnotmike and Emily and Davenotfred.  Good stuff and positive things as you can never have too many people in your corner when you need them.


  • For me personally, 2009 was a year of becoming more athletic.  I walked my first 5 mile walk.  I have started running.  I cardio kickbox and love it.  I find that as I grow in physical strength, I grow in confidence.  It's still hard for me to think of being in the best shape of my life thus far at 43, yet it remains the truth.  I'm still hoping to hit that size 14; I have not given up on it. 

I think those are the biggest highlights of 2009.  Sure, there were many little but still significant things, such a Fire Pit Frenzy Friday nights, but the biggest things to come from that were the friendships I have already mentioned.  I got to spend another year with my amazing youth group, and my kids have grown a year older, as have I.  I still think age is just a number and it is how we feel mentally and physically that matters...I think I am no more than 25. 

Resolutions? A few.  I am resolving to try harder, to be healthier, to consume cleaner things.  I want to train to run a 5k.  I want to try to cut out or at least cut back on my Splenda consumption and that will be a slow process.  That will mean non-sweetened coffee and drinking plain water with no Crystal Lite.  That will be a process.  With the Crystal Lite, I can easily consume the amount of water a day I should.  Without it, that will be a greater challenge.  There are other little things that are escaping me right now.  None are pass or fail scenarios; they are just resolutions to try harder to accomplish the things I want to accomplish.  I plan to blog more and maybe even give the blog a little makeover.  We'll see.

So what about you guys?  What has stood out for you in 2009 and what are your plans for 2010?

Have a safe and happy New Year all!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

I Survived; Did You All?

So Merry Christmas a day late!

The insanity is over and I am still alive.  The gifts were bought and ripped open, the cantata was sung (and no robe was worn thankyouverymuch), stockings were hung and filled and dinner was cooked and consumed.  Tod joined us for dinner as due to the weather he did not go to his mother's Christmas day, so that was great fun and I was happy to have him. 

Santa was good to me...running shoes purchased at a for real running store, where they actually WAIT ON YOU!  Did not even know that still happened here in the USA.  Found out my feet are exactly the same size, which is apparently rare, another thing I did not know.  Santa also brought me a slow cooker with a timer (YES!  I love slow cookers.  They are a true gift for anyone who does not enjoy cooking and/or has a busy schedule.) and a lovely bracelet and necklace set.  Santa gave The Brit golf stuff and still owes him a golf club which he didn't want until the weather turns into golf weather again.

Once the holidays are over I am going into detox for sugar and carbs.  It hasn't been awful yet far from good and of course, getting to the gym is always a challenge over Christmas other words, it really doesn't happen.  Also in the New Year I want to start running outside, which scares me a bit, but it will scare me until I do it.  My longest run thus far has been 25 minutes, so I have a way to go, but I have no set schedule; just listening to my body....though by the time the kids go back to school and I actually get to run again, my body is going to be pretty pissed off.

Tomorrow is our Christmas party and if you are reading this and usually come and did not get an invite, please come.  I rely far too much on Facebook, because it is easy; I can set up the event and manage my RSVPs etc.  I meant to put other invites in my Christmas cards but I was so late getting them out, it didn't happen and then church was canceled last Sunday due to snow, blah, blah, blah.  So anyway, tomorrow from 2-10 here at the house...c'mon over.  Then Monday it is off to NYC for a few days.

I am going to try to be a more regular blogger again once the holidays are over.  I have had a big ole break from it ever since screwing up my Blog365 and though I do not plan to going back to daily blogging (too much pressure) I do want to commit to at least 3-4 days a week.  Just give me this week of vacation to regroup and recover from the holidays.

And on a final note, my church, some friends and I were able to help out a friend and her family for Christmas and though I wish the circumstances were better for her, I also want to thank was my favorite gift I got this Christmas.  A reminder of what the season is all about.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Snowstorm 2009

So we have more snow out there now than we have had since about 1995,  In fact, I would venture to say that there is more snow out there now then we have had in the last five years COMBINED.  It started last night around 10:30 and we think it just now quit and we are somewhere in the range of 3-4 feet.  BIG SNOW.  And ya'll know I hate the stuff.  Well, okay, maybe not hate completely.  It's actually kind of long as I can stay inside, where it is warm and cozy and look at it through the window.  But snow doesn't really cooperate because I can't shovel the crap from in here and there is that work situation where I have to go, so until snow decides to meet my list of demands (inside, warm, cozy) we are barely on speaking terms.

But the snow did bring certain blessings.  I have been behind on Christmas and losing my mind over it.  Today was supposed to be our cantata rehearsal and tomorrow was supposed to be our Sunday school program, a combined service with the cantata and a potluck to follow.  But this morning, the rehearsal was called off and later today, church was called off for tomorrow.  So I have spent the day baking and wrapping with some cleaning thrown in for good measure.  Tomorrow, I plan to do more of the same so that by Monday, I should be right on schedule.  Brilliant.

Late this afternoon, I came to the realization that the tree had not been watered (I am begging for an artificial tree next year and by the end of this story, you will understand why).  We have one of those tree watering thing-a-ma-bobs that sticks out of the tree stand and allows you to water through this funnel thing, but I could not figure out where in the tree JJ had stuck the thing (it's a very full tree).  I finally found it and stuck my hand through the branches to move it to a more convenient location for someone who is not ten years old and the whole tree FELL OVER.  I tried to catch up, but the sucker is heavy, so down it went.  The Brit was outside attempting to find his car under the snowdrifts and I walked out onto the porch to tell him that the tree had gone ass over tit.  He came in to help me right it and then went back out as he rarely sees big snow and was determined he was going to go for a ride in it, which in no way interested me (inside, warm, cozy).  So I spent the next half hour putting ornaments back on the tree and vacuuming up pine needles, and then I realized the tree still had not been watered, which was how this whole saga began.  So I moved the watering thing-a-ma-bob to a new location and went to the kitchen to fill a pitcher.  I then started pouring the water into the funnel and was amazed at how quickly the tree was sucking down that water no matter how fast I poured it.

Then my feet got wet.  Right, did not have the watering thing-a-ma-bob actually inside of the tree stand, so floor, carpet, etc, soaked with one whole pitcher of water.  So, I cleaned that up, made sure the watering thing was stuck in the right place and started to pour a new pitcher of water into the funnel just as fast as before which caused it to overflow...briefly, thankfully as I quickly discovered the error of my ways. 

So the tree is now well as the floor and carpet.  They probably needed cleaned anyhow.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Pressure Pushin' Down on Me

So someone is whinging about lack 'o blog activity, so I guess I need to do an update.  I mean, it isn't like it is a busy time of year or anything

Went to NYC on Saturday and had a great time.  It was the church bus trip, so I went with Kirk and Molly from youth group and I sat with my long time friend, Laura, from Strat'sGarden fame.  The day started way early at four am for me as we had to be at the church and on the bus at five.  We stopped for breakfast and then proceeded to the city.  The kids and I went to see "Rock of Ages" which was wonderful, much to my surprise.  I had never heard of it, but Kirk had, so I wasn't sure I would like it but as it turns out, I loved it.  All eighties rock songs which was my high school era, so it was much fun.

The city was cold, but we walked all over it.  It was Molly's first time and she was simply in awe.  She is such a remarkably funny kid who has really come into her own over the last year.  She constantly amazes me with her humor (even when she doesn't know she is being funny) and her amazing vocal talent. 

Anyway, the day ended late; I did not get to bed until well after 1:00 in the morning and then got up for church at 6:20.  Were it not so close to Christmas, I would have napped that afternoon, but instead I did laundry, tidied up the house, baked two batches of cookies and one batch of what will soon be cake truffles, wrapped most of the gifts, finished the Christmas cards and cooked dinner.  I crashed hard at abotu ten that night but I at least felt like I had not allowed the day to go to waste.

Tomorrow, we plan on getting our tree and getting candy making supplies.  This weekend is filling up fast of course...Saturday morning is the cantata rehearsal at the church and that evening we are going to dinner with friends.  Sunday is the kid's Sunday school program, then a combined service with the cantata and a Christmas potluck to follow.  Monday through Wednesday is going to be finishing up...just a few small gifts to get and Thursday my vacation begins.  Christmas eve will be church again of course, as we are singing during special music...if we learn the song.  So yeah, pretty much insanity.

I am not going to run tomorrow.  I ran yesterday and then kickboxed tonight and my knees are aching like crazy, so my body is telling me to chill for now.  So, I plan on the elliptical tomorrow and maybe some kettlebell...can't forego the workout entirely.

So there is my life right now in a nutshell.  Busy, but happy, tired but satisfied.  Hope the rest of you are getting caught up too!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Cannot Believe I Did It!

Today I ran for twenty minutes straight and I am still in shock.  I have been agonizing over this run for well over a week because it was such a huge jump from run eight minutes, walk five minutes, run another eight minutes.  But today I tackled it.  Now, I am dog tired now, but in my defense, Jack McFarland had us do way too many squats last nights, plus after my run today, I came home and cleaned my kitchen, and my fireplace, and did cat litter and vacuumed and dusted, etc.  So yeah, pretty tired...and my thighs are aching.  But all in all, not bad at all.  I wanted to stop running several times but pushed through it, which is what it is all about.  As with anything worth doing in life, there are moments you want to quit, but you have to keep your eyes on your goal. Now, if I had experienced any pain or real shortness of breath, I would have stopped, but that didn't happen.

Thursdays are going to start being my swimming day, so that is tomorrow's goal.  I'm not the strongest swimmer in the world, but it is probably because I don't swim very often.  It has never been a favorite thing for me to do, but again, I try to change things up so I don't get bored and my body doesn't become too acclimated to what I'm doing.

Still have stuff to do for Christmas, but got cards yesterday and now need to get on that project.  Maybe I'll start it tonight.  Also have to talk to oldest child to see what else he wants for Christmas as I came to the realization that I have to get a few karaoke CDs for my youngest who is getting a karaoke machine.  Won't do him much good without music to sing to.  Need to see if The Brit wants to go to the candy store on Friday for supplies for homemade candy, as he wants some to take into work to give as gifts, so that can be started on next week. Cookies and baked goods should be done a little closer to Christmas.

Okay need to go scope out some weather as the news was just saying something about Blizzard 2009.  Hopefully my town is not on its radar!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Turned a Corner Finally

I had a whole blog written and it zapped it away so now I'm all ticked off and don't want to blog at all.  Hmph.

My doctor gave me a Z-pack which seems to be taking care of my feeling lousy and my 'roids are getting better for the time being as well, thank God.

I was surfing today and found a girl who had WLS I have followed in the past.  What I found out was that she has gained a lot of weight back, which I find scary.  However it does remind me of the pact I made with myself that I am never going back.  NEVER.  Do I struggle?  Sure I do, especially with carbs, but thankfully, I have become a bit of an exercise fanatic so it is balancing out and allowing me to maintain right now.  AFter the holidays I want to get back down to business and try to lose a bit more, but if I don't, that's okay.  My body feels healthy and that is what matters to me.  I no longer have any desire to get hung up on a number. 

I got this quote on Twitter today that reminded me to always keep goals...."Most people give up just when theyR about 2reach success.Don't quit when UR at the 1yard line! Make that touchdown! Believe it &ACHIEVE IT!"  Absolutely.

I have Christmas fairly under control; a few more little things for the kids, and I need another gift for The Brit.  He wants a golf club which he has to pick out, but I need something for a surprise but am not sure what to get.  So that is my biggest challenge.  I'm going to hit baking hard in a week or so to give some stuff as gifts; cookies, cake truffles, maybe some sweet bread or popcorn brittle.  I love the lack of stress I am feeling this holiday season so far.  I am working out my Christmas day menu and am even a bit excited about it.  We are also going to take the kids on their first trip to NYC over the Christmas break.  Good stuff.

I am actually going to NYC this Saturday with my church on a bus trip that leaves at freakin' five in the morning, but three of us have tickets to see "Rock of Ages".  I know nothing about it other than it features eighties music, which I grew up with, but it is just exciting for me to see live theater in a big city.   

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

What is Going On?

Ever since my two day bout with the flu two weeks ago, I feel like I have been battling something.  The day after Thanksgiving, my throat was ever so slightly scratchy, which as a pre-op would have meant I had a full-fledged cold coming on that would have me feeling like crap for two weeks.  But the next day, I just felt as if I had a minor head cold.  Now I feel as if I have a minor chest cold along with the sneezing which may or may not be allergies or sinus know, just that slightly bronchial feeling and a tiny bit of coughing.  I'm also tired; dog tired.  Not enough so that I cannot carry on my day as normal but by evening, my energy is non-existent.  So what is this?  Walking pneumonia?  I think I would feel worse.  I don't feel bad, just not good.

So my C25K program is suddenly making rapid jumps that are freaking me out.  I went from Monday running three five minute runs with three minute rests in between, to today running two eight minute runs with a five minute rest in between.  I was freaked about it, but managed it.  The end of the second eight minutes was rough, especially taking into consideration a rather grueling kickboxing session last night, but I persevered and got it done.  BUT FRIDAY....are you ready for this jump, because I am not so sure I am.  Five minute warm up walk and then RUN FOR TWENTY MINUTES!  WTH?  I have a HUGE mental block about this one so far and will be heading to Spark People and the C25K board for words of wisdom at getting through it.  I am SKEERED!

I still can't do any kettlebell stuff at the gym or any lifting due to my 'roid issue,which I have finally set up a doctor's appt for.  I can't take it anymore.  They don't flare up often but when they do I am miserable on and off for well over a week, plus it hinders what I can do at the gym.  So on the 14th I find out what can be done to cure what ails me.  At my last colonoscopy, my butt doc told me that he could take the things off in the office and that it was not painful.  I have my doubts but am at least willing to discuss it.  So there is my TMI update for tonight. 

So I am going to go curl up with a book or maybe do a little farming down in Farmville while I wait for 9:00 and "Glee" which only has two more episodes left till like March, which really bums me out.  If you aren't watching this show, you are missing out big time.  It is fun, funny and musical; everything I have ever loved in a television program.  It is the "Fame" series of this generation and I love it.

Monday, November 30, 2009

Blogging for Amusement

Someone whose name shall not be mentioned, Jim Not Mike, remarked to me he liked reading the blog and commenting, but he also seems to be MIA of late as he hobknobs around NYC, which he doesn't even like.  But despite his lack of comment last week, and despite my lack of sleep last night due to 'roid issues (sorry, TMI, but we strive for truth here on Knitten Kittens) I felt guilty not blogging today.

Though I only slept about three hours at best last night, I went to the gym after work to run my final day on week five on C25K.  No kettlebells due to the above mentioned issue, but the run went really well considering I had not run since last Wednesday.  Wednesday morning, I'll look and see what week six entails.

From the gym, I came home to Christmas decorate as I already felt a little behind, though much better now.  I want to do some baking this year, both for our open house on the 27th of December and to take to a friend along with some Christmas cheer that she and her family needs.  So yes, I found a way to put some meaning into this holiday for myself and hopefully for my friend too.  My shopping is minimal; my kids, my husband, Robyn and I may give some baked goods to some other friends. I'm going back to some basics this year; baking gifts, maybe making a few things.  Most importantly, finding ways to enjoy this holiday once again in simple ways.  No more flying around to get shopping done; most is going to be done at the computer and delivered. I still have to buy Christmas cards, but I enjoy those.  Still hoping to escape with Paula one day for massages and lunch, as we did last year.  Christmas dinner will be done here and right now I am looking forward to it.  Amazing what happens when you start focusing on people and not on stuff.  Of course, I still needs gifts for the kids, but again, the internet is my friend.  Kids are different; Christmas is for them, but I am not going to go broke buying a bunch of electronics we can't afford.  They will learn to be happy with what they get and I am not going to feel guilty.

Thanksgiving rocked.  No stress, much laughter, good food, good company.  No expectations.  No disappointments.  No hurt feelings.  Supurb.  The way life and holidays should be.  Life is stressful enough; the fun stuff doesn't need to be.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Is it ever okay to give up?

Due to the flu last week and then my oldest son having the stomach flu on Thursday and Friday, I only got to the gym last Monday, so today was rough.  I had to start week 5 of C25K over again as I only got one of the three days in last week, so that had me running for five minute increments and it kicked my ass today.  Dang, I can tell when I haven't been working out even if only for a handful of days. 

But, even worse is that after a week of not exercising, the urge to forgo today was incredibly tempting.  They say a habit takes like 21 days to form or something like that, and I believe that.  But it certainly doesn't take long to break it.  I left work and had a mental argument with myself about all the stuff I could get done if I didn't go to the gym.  Thankfully, the lazy ass part of my brain lost the discussion and I went to the gym and busted my rear end for just over an hour. 

It is so easy to let it go, isn't it?  In a week I had managed to forget how much better I feel for exercising.  I had also managed to do some really bad eating over the weekend so I knew the gym needed to happen.  I just didn't want to go.  But then I remembered a few basic truths that I set for myself a long time ago.

The first is that I am never going back.  This girl...

...way does not need to come back. 

The other truth is that giving up is not an option.  Here's a fact:  I can eat more now than I could a year ago and I am hungry way more often than I was a year ago.  The honeymoon period is over and has been over.  But that doesn't mean I no longer have to bother with things; it means I have a focus more than I have since I had surgery.  I'm relatively normal now when it comes to the population of people who work out, and try to eat right to keep their weight in check.  Everything I put in my mouth is a choice and if I chose the item that is not the best food choice for me, my ass needs to be at the gym burning it off and then some. 

But giving up?  No way.  EVER.  I worked too hard to get apathetic about this.  I have seen too many people lose weight and then turn around and put it back on because they gave up or allowed themselves to fall back into old habits.  We have got to be responsible for our own actions.  We put weight back on, we are the only ones to blame.  The only way WLS surgery fails is if we fail WLS.  If you have one of these surgeries and lose weight and as soon as the honeymoon period is over, you quit trying, then you were looking for an easy way out.  Health is not an easy thing.  It takes work and commitment and responsibility.  You're not allowed to give up.  I tell myself that every single day.

And I need a new picture.  The last one was eight months post-op and a year has gone by since then.  I'm maintaining a 109 pound loss with hopes of eventually getting to goal.  I'm hoping becoming a runner will assist with that, but if not, it's okay.  I am happy.  I am healthy.  And I am way not quitting.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Sick or Just Tired?

So yesterday at work I had a headache, which is kind of a rare thing for me anymore.  Actually, since losing weight, sickness is a rare thing for me anymore.  Maybe due to the vitamins I'm on, the amount of exercise I do or just the fact hat I am healthier than I have ever been before, or all of the above, but since my surgery in April of 2008,  I have one cold that last two days.

Anyway, headache.  I found two Tylenol Cold tablets in my desk and took them and the headache eased up a bit.  I left work, went for a haircut and then to the grocery store but I felt a little bit foggy for lack of a better word.  I got home, unloaded groceries and then put hair color on my head.  About that time, I started shivering...and aching.  I got into the shower a little earlier just to stand in the hot water to try to warm up before rinsing out my color.  After coming to the conclusion that kickboxing with GBC would not be happening, I watched my temperature go from 99 to 102 in the course of an hour.  I remained on the couch wrapped in blankets and ordered the kids pizza for dinner (husband is in California till Saturday).  Mom brought me over juice, Tylenol and soup, because that is what mothers do. 

This morning, I felt better after 9 hours of sleep and got up to get the kids off to school.  After they left I fell back to sleep for two hours.  My temperature is normal, but I have a bit of a sore throat.  I'm confused...I thought if you had a sore throat, you had a fever.  Coughing a little bit.  Dragging a lot.  But I didn't work today which makes me feel guilty.

So if tomorrow there is no fever but still slight sore throat do I work or stay home?  No fever means not contagious, right? 

I hate being sick.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Hard to Believe...

...I used to blog every single day, huh?  Now I am the Absent Blogger! 

In my defense, I have been really busy.  I have been at the church every day for fourteen days tomorrow, tho that does include my normal work days.  Friday there was a funeral and I was there from 8:30 until about 2:00 as I stayed to help serve and clean up.  Wasn't much effort as I really like the church ladies who come out to handle these kinds of things and have come to the realization that I am now one of them!  Then today, we all met for our Fall Clean up day and got rid of a massive dumpster full of crap!  I was there from just before 9:00 until about 2:30 but left feeling a great sense of accomplishment.

It all kind of floors me when I really think about it.  I am so tangled up in the life of my church; the day to day things, the special occasion things, the youth functions...and it actually escapes me how some people only turn up on Sunday and never give a thought as to how things get done.  Sure, the stuff they see on Sunday, I get paid to do, but all the other stuff I do and all the stuff the music director does other than music and all the stuff the other handful of people do is not compensated with money.  Major things got accomplished today that the majority of people will not notice and it just amazes me.  Not that I want noticed, but let me explain better. 

People walk into a church on Sundays and the heat is on, the lights are on, they have a bulletin in their hand and music is played and sang for the service, but they really don't give it a thought.  The place is clean and tidy.  But if they walk in and lights aren't on and there is no bulletin and all the discarded bulletins from the previous Sunday litter the pews, they would notice that.  Many of the things that happen in your home have to happen at a church and in order for that to happen, you have to have people willing to make sure those things happen.  People hate thinking about the church as needing money weekly...some even say that their belief in God has nothing to do with money and in many ways they are right.  But to have a building in which to worship, bills have to be paid.  No money means no lights or no heat or AC. 

But today was a good day.  A really good turnout of people; better then in the last few years.  Lots of stuff got done and rooms are now usable again as there was un-needed furniture and all sorts of stuff in them.  There is still work to be done, but it will get accomplished.

So what have you done to support your church lately, other than showing up on Sunday?  What little tasks do you do to make a difference?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Weekly to Do List

I have been looking around me and seeing all this stuff I need to get done, but am quickly running out of time.  No, the world will not end if it doesn't get done, it is just stuff that needs to happen, so if I don't start tracking it and setting some goals, I will never get them accomplished.  So for this week:

  • Wash curtains before I have to freaking Christmas decorate

  • Paint mantle before I have to freaking Christmas decorate

  • Deal with the fish tank

  • Start reading "Master your Metabolism".  This book has been mocking me.  I want to read it but can't seem to stay off the computer long enough for it to happen.

  • Rake leaves out front

Work Goal (s)

  • Plot out launch of Rent a Kid and get it ready to go for Sunday.

  • Start looking at entertainment for next spaghetti dinner in probably February

  • Get stuff ready for elections



  • Find out what the kids want for Christmas

  • Find out what JJ wants to do for his birthday

  • Look at ticket availability for B'way for NYC trip in December with church

This weekend was really, really busy but it all went well.  The dinner was fabulous and we raised about $550 towards our summer mission trip.  My BFFF brought one of his roomies home for the weekend and this teen is going to go with us on our trip which is awesome.  He was a great fit into our youth group and as we have an extra space for the trip it is perfect.

Today I did major work outside with leaf raking and some clearing of branches as well as getting the deck ready for winter.  After such a hectic weekend, I am bushed tonight.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Have patience

Have patience with me, dear readers. This has been an insanely busy week
and the weekend is nuts too and I just realized I have too much scheduled
tomorrow and my workout is going to have to go and I hate it when that
happens. But my oldest has a yearly check up in the morning, then to work
to set up for youth fundraiser, aka spaghetti dinner and to finish my actual
work for the week and of course due to the doc appt I will be late getting
to work. Then after work, I need to meet my mother to go to Sam's Club for
spaghetti sauce for fundraiser and then my oldest has a therapy appt at 3:10
which I really wish I could cancel at this point but I can't. At 6:00, I am
meeting two friends to go see "Godspell" at the Playhouse and from there, to
the church to play with the youth who wanted to have a lock-in. Not staying
the night however; I want to sleep in my own bed. Saturday morning at
11:00, is a rehearsal for the entertainment part of the spaghetti dinner and
then home to cook sauce etc (hmmm...can I get a workout in on Saturday
instead? I hate to do that too but really hate missing one!) and then to
the church for the dinner by 5:00. After dinner I want to go out to hear my
friend Lana and her new band.

So way too much going on right now and not enough time to put too many
thoughts together. Work has been busy, youth group, busy, home, busy. I
was due for my second 4th week run tomorrow too, damnit! Monday it is going
to feel like Week 4 Day 1 all over again! Bites. I really need to plan

"Miracles start to happen when you give as much energy to your dreams as you
do to your fears." - Richard Wilkins

Come blog with me at

Monday, November 2, 2009

I'm Still Here

Hard to believe I went from daily blogging to a "now you see me, now you don't" status, huh?  I had briefly considered NaBloPoMo but as today is the second, that is out the window and I'm kind of enjoying the freedom to blog or not to blog.

I had a really good workout today, thank you Jerry.  I did my third run in Week 3 of C25K and then had a lesson in kettlebell from Jerry along with a few other lessons on effective crunches as the normal ones were no longer doing me any good.  I didn't even feel sore after 200 of them (and he informed me that was way too many).  So he taught me the right way to hold a medicine ball while crunching on the stability ball.  He also showed me some on the bosu which was really cool as I was just fantasizing about one in my last entry.

We went to see "This is It" tonight and I was rather surprised to find out that I was a bit of a Michael Jackson fan after all.  I had not listened to him in so long that I had forgotten just how many of his songs I liked.  So the movie was very enjoyable and enlightening to see him in a more personal way.

The weeks have been insanely busy lately and now the holidays are right around the corner.  I am not going to spend Thanksgiving at my mother's this year; just can't do it.  It's a day off for me and I'd rather not spend it stressed.  Christmas is also causing me a giant pain but I am still trying to find something to bring meaning back to it for me.  I posted something along those lines on Facebook and apparently, I am not the only one searching.  We are currently trying to find a local family who has hit a rough patch, maybe someone who is not involved or getting any other public assistance yet.  There are about six of us so far who are looking for someone to anonymously bring some cheer or some help to.  If anyone knows of such a person or family, please email me at  I want to be able to do for someone without recognition for it, just for the sheer joy of helping.  I know there are people out there who need it and I'm betting you all know of someone.  If so, please consider sharing with me.  A few of us are asking those we know for suggestions.  Sadly, there are sometimes people who "work" the system, but the real stories almost always seem to come from those around us.  So if you know of someone who needs some help due to loss of employment, illness,, etc, send me an email.  We aren't necessarily looking to help with money, but maybe with food or whatever the need is.  Tell me what you got and if you want to help, you can let me know that too.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Bullet Point Wednesday

I don't have a lot to say about any given thing so I'm taking a hint from Meg and doing some bullet points.

  • If you don't watch The Biggest Loser, you missed a good cryfest last night.  Dear, sweet Abby volunteered to go home.  This girl lost everything important in her life (husband, young child and infant) in a car accident and she asked to be the one to go home so others could stay.  She said she had learned to overcome her fear of loving people.  She looks amazing.

  • My weekend is filling up with Halloween festivities.  The Brit is handling Trick or Treat at the house on Friday and I am off to the church for Trunk or Treat.  Saturday, we have a Halloween party and Tod did our costumes; they are amazing.

  • I am thinning out the Christmas giving this year.  Money is tight for lots of folks and with some people I can't see exchanging gifts just because it is Christmas when I don't see them any other time of the year.  The holiday has always stressed me out and I am still searching for some alternative means to celebrate that bring some meaning back into it for me.

  • I am looking for one of these used or cheap:



    Not sure I will find one.  They have them at the Y and I am dying to play with it but have visions of me falling on my ass in front of all the people working out.  I would much rather bust my ass in the privacy of my own home.

  • I started Week 3 of C25K today and made it.  You can follow my progress here.  So far this is proving to be a totally doable program for would-be runners...but again, I am only on week three.

  • I decided today that what the world needs is more people who leave their shopping carts parked diagonally in the middle of the aisle in Walmart.  We so don't have enough of those people.

Monday, October 26, 2009

5 Mile Walk? Check!

So the Breast cancer 5K was actually a five mile walk.  We walked most of it out of doors but got caught in the rain twice and moved it inside to the track.  I have pictures but I let the tee shirt lady talk me into a large and for me, judging by the photos, huge mistake...and they were white, so ya'll know where I'm coming from, right?  Yeah, way not posting them.

But huge sense of accomplishment for having done it and our county raised somewhere along the lines of $173,000 breaking all previous records.  Thank you to all of you who donated.  You are the amazing ones.

Saturday night was Ron White at the Maryland Theater and it was a blast.  Funny-ish story.  We went to dinner before and I had a glass of wine.  Then when we got there, they had not yet opened the doors to the theater so everyone was all lined up waiting to get in and we went into the theater's bar next door instead, which was pretty empty and I ordered another glass of wine, which I took into the theater with me.  I was buzzing along quite happily and decided I needed one more glass before Ron took the stage, so I headed back to the bar, which was now insanely crowded!  But I worked my way to the bar and while waiting to be waited on, a guy next to me starts chatting with me and we are joking around for a few minutes and then he asks me what time it is.  Checking my watch I tell him we have six minutes so I really need waited on because I did not want to miss a second of Ron White, to which he says "We'll there will be a warm up."

My mind is immediately filled with images of Ron coming out on stage to tell a few jokes like why did the chicken cross the road, but I asked it anyway..."How do they warm up a comedian?"  Had the guy said "opening act" or anything like that, I'd have gotten it.  Instead the dude now knew I was a live comedian virgin.  Ah well.  Live and learn...and drink wine.

Wednesday I move onto week three of my C25K.  Haven't looked yet at what that entails.  I like to be surprised and not so much overwhelmed.  I have enough overwhelmed in my regular life with two boys.  But so far, I am enjoying my little 90 second runs.  I'll get back to you after Wedneday and let you know how much I like week three!

Friday, October 23, 2009

Second Journal and First 5K

First off, thank you everyone for your supportive words given my family issues.  I'm sure there are two sides to every story and maybe my brother and his wife have some kind of issues with me; I have no idea.  I only know how things look from this side and I get tired of dealing with it.  But enough about that.

I started a progress journal on the C25K site for the running program, which is going fairly well.  So if anyone is interested you can follow that part of all this there.  The program is challenging but not impossible and sometimes I have to realize that it is a marathon and not a sprint in the way of speed.  My knees are not bothering me much at all though my shins are but that should pass.

Tomorrow is the breast cancer 5K and I'm very excited.  Tod is going with me to walk along with me as we generally walk together anyway.  It is supposed to rain, which sadly means the walk will be inside and I prefer walking out of doors, but it's still all good.  After all, I'm walking a 5K! 

Tomorrow night is Ron White at the downtown theater which I am also excited about.  Busy weekend full of great stuff.  Hope you all have one planned to!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Family Drama Again

So many of you may remember the Beach Sister situation of 2008 and if you don't know the story, please review the link. I have seen this sister one other time since then, at my mother's 80th birthday party a year ago.  I have very little desire to see her for the simple fact that if a relationship with me is not important to someone, I have no desire to force myself upon them.  That situation opened my eyes to the way things apparently were and I got hurt and have gotten over it.  But I am also from the school of "sh*t on you once, shame on them, sh*t on you twice, shame on you."  In other words, I am not setting myself up for anything again, thankyouverymuch.

Now, second scenario is my younger brother, who I grew up very close to, who got married and since marriage we barely have a relationship.  We had one for awhile but once we adopted kids, it really pretty much ended other than holidays.  This brother and his wife live in the next town over (like twenty minutes away) and I have not seen them since Easter.  They had an open invitation to our Fire Pit Frenzy Fridays, but have never shown up (sister in law told my mother she sent me an email saying she worked Saturdays, but I have never gotten an email from her...I never get emails from her so I would have remembered if one had showed up.).  And what really takes the cake is that two weeks ago, she had a surprise 40th birthday party for my brother and no one from our family was invited.  Nice.

So why am I talking about this?  Because these are the four people who will be at my mothers for Thanksgiving. I have been dreading this and a few weeks ago, I spoke to my sister, Vicki, about it, who in turn, talked to my mother, who in turn told me she understood if I didn't want to be at Thanksgiving and she would not be angry.  Oh, and these two couples, adore each other.

I was relieved until yesterday.  Yesterday I took mom to lunch for her birthday and her tune started to change a bit.  "So are you coming to Thanksgiving or not?"  I thought we had been over this and I voted no.  So I reaffirmed this with her and she fussed a bit more.   I said that getting together just because it was a holiday when people don't want anything to do with me any other time, was a joke.   Why did I want to be uncomfortable and forcing conversation for the sake of a turkey?  Yeah, there is the fact that my mother is 81 and I don't know how much longer I'll have her, but I would much rather have a nice dinner here either before or after Thanksgiving and invite her.  It's not HER I don't want to spend time with. 

There is also the issue that every time my youngest son sees the two who live so close (I don't think he has seen them since Easter either...if he saw them then, I can't remember as I was flying to England that evening), when we go home, I get the questions.

"Why don't they invite us over?"

"Why don't they send me a birthday card?"

Etc...and I don't have answers!  My youngest child adores them, which is what makes it so horrible for me...and for him.   When he doesn't see them, he doesn't think to ask the questions.  My mother says I should tell him to ask them those questions, but I don't want to put him up to it and they would think it came from me anyway.

So am I wrong to not go and to make other plans for that day?  Vicki, she is talking about trying to get you to come (and I laughed and said, "Yeah, because she is so close to them!") so be warned. 

In all reality, I have six siblings and though I love them all because I have to, four of them I genuinely like as people and adore spending time with.  Those are pretty good stats in my opinion.

Monday, October 19, 2009

It's Official; I am sick of food

So the weekend in Annapolis was very nice and relaxing but way too much really good food was involved.  Yummy things like salad and crab imperial and dinner at The Melting Pot which was cheese fondue (not great but at least protein and I only had one tiny bit of bread in the cheese and instead mostly apple slices).  The dinner part was not bad at all but then dessert....chocolate fondue with strawberries and rice krispie squares and well, you can imagine.  Then a lunch of seafood yesterday.  Then there was snacking of Chex Mix and a croissant and let's just say that by the time I got home, I had zero interest in food and that kind of spilled over to today as well.  Nothing looks good or interests me.

Then The Brit had a nasty abscess that had him in the ER today to have it lanced (he's a diabetic, so he needs to be really careful with any open wound), so I didn't make it to the gym today.  He's doing fine btw and has great drugs.  Tomorrow I am taking my mother out to lunch for her birthday to Olive Garden (her choice) and after the weekend and not hitting the gym today, I am struggling to decide what to order.  Do you know most of their entrées are well over 1000 calories?  Holy hell!  So it might be soup and a salad but not the cedar salad as that dressing is insanely high in calorie.  Do they have a garden salad?

So tomorrow kick boxing definitely.  Wednesday, double penance; running after work, walking with Tod that evening.  He called tonight but The Brit had council so I had kids.  One is searching for a missing NetFlix Hannah Montana movie and the other has been trying to convince me he can do his second book project one the same book on which he did the first one.   Youngest has been told no outside time until he recovers Hannah and I have emailed the older one's teacher to get to the truth.

Oh and when we got home yesterday, it was 53 degrees in here as the boiler had shut off while we were away.  The cats were pissed and assumed we took the heat with us.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Need Something to Stumble Upon

I get really excited when I find cool new things to me, on the internet.  So my find today may not be new to many of you, but I just discovered it and think it is the dog's whatsits (as the British dude would say).  The site is StumbleUpon and if you are like me, there are times you are bored of your frequently looked at websites and you are thinking "Dang, if only I could find something new to view."  Well, wish no more!

You have to sign up and you have to download the StumbleUpon tool bar but then the fun begins. You go into their website and pick the categories that interest you.  For example, picked things like "health and fitness" , "cats", "Travel" etc. Then your handy dandy new tool bar (and it didn't take away my Google tool bar, it just added another tool bar, so don't fear losing Google if you are a Googlelite.) will have a "Stumble" icon and when you click on this, it will take you to a site that falls within your category specifications.  For example, under my cooking category, this popped up . I mean, how fun is this?  You can pop in what ingredients you have and it will tell  you what you can make!  Then when if I am really bored, I can tell it I have really weird stuff and try to have it create me a dinner out of cheese and syrup or something.

If you like a site you find, you can punch your little "I like it!" icon and it will Favorite the site for you.  And I can share it and make friends apparently.  I have only punched my little "Stumble" button like four times and I was so excited I had to blog and tell you all about it.  So go Stumble!  Unless unlike me, you have a life.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Ya Can't Fix Stupid

Sometimes when I'm bored or feeling behind in current events (and generally I don't really care; news is depressing and rarely does any of the good stuff make the paper) I read our local paper...and I should know this is just not a good idea.  I am reminded when I do this of how ridiculous our society has become, how apathetic, how without common sense.  It amazes me.  Maybe I am just getting old.

I read two stories so far today and both had me shaking my head.

The first was about a disabled woman who lived in a Housing Authority Building and she locked herself out of her 7th story apartment and was trying to climb from a common area balcony to her own balcony I suppose to let herself back into her apartment.  She wound up falling to her death.  The first issue I have is this:

Officer Pat Moulton responded to the area of Walnut Towers for an unrelated call when she saw the woman outside in bedroom slippers, Kifer said. Moulton spoke with the woman and returned about 30 minutes later to check on her.

When Moulton returned, she saw the woman hit the ground as she fell, Kifer said.

Um, yeah, our law officers are to be keeping us safe, but just let his lady stay locked out and try to come up with her own device for getting back inside.  Big of Officer Moulton to come back to check on her...too bad she just didn't stay and help out in the first place.

Then there is this comment:

The woman could have called Hagerstown Housing Authority’s emergency number or called a locksmith in an effort to get into her apartment, said Ted Shankle, executive director for Hagerstown Housing Authority.

She did not call the emergency number, Shankle said.

Does common sense tell anyone else that if she was locked out she couldn't get to a phone?  Maybe I'm missing something, but it just doesn't make sense to me.  Hello?

Then I read an article about a First Grader in Delaware who was suspended for 45 days for bringing his favorite camping tool (a combination folding knife, fork and spoon) to school to eat his lunch with.  The Board of Ed there apparently changed their minds about the 45 day suspension of a FREAKING FIRST GRADER, thank GOD!  Okay, I get that we have to be careful and protect our kids but is there no common sense required in doing so?  C'mon!  45 days?  The kid didn't bring a machete for crying out loud.  He brought a camping tool!  Overturn the sentence....YA THINK? 

Please people, help me bring common sense back to our society.  And good manners too while we are at it as few people seem to have those anymore either.

What's the story from your local paper that makes you cringe and say WTH?

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Busy Week

Sorry for the absence, but things have been busy.  My brother and sister are here from the West Coast for a few days and my youngest child has been down with the flu since Sunday morning.  So I've been working from home other than two hours this morning when I slipped into the church to copy some work onto my flash drive to bring home.

I get a little weirded out when my weekday routine gets flopped around.  I have trouble with food when I am off my normal schedule, like on the weekends.  Monday through Friday, I am pretty regimented on what I do and when in order to get it all in and even meals are planned and packed or whatever.  When things change for whatever reason where I don't have time to plan, my food thing gets all weird in not a good way.  Today has been better than yesterday but with being home all day yesterday, I nibbled all day.  Today I am more back on task with food but it does help me to realize that WLS doesn't make any part of weight loss less of a struggle. It never becomes second nature to the point that I don't even have to think about reaching for fruit or veggies instead of some kind of empty carb.  Don't I wish?!  I did make it to the gym yesterday long enough to do my C25K thirty minutes but had to forgo Muscle Makeover.  Tonight I am still heading to kickboxing and maybe I will get some stability ball time in tonight during The Biggest Loser.

I have spent two days either watching or listening to iCarly and Hannah Montana, the latter I feel is a piece of crap more or less.  The story lines are sillier and the acting is not so good.  iCarly is the better kids show by far...not that any of you care, but it has been a BIG part of my life this week.

Thankfully, I have high hopes for him going back to school tomorrow!

Not quite two weeks left to donate to the 5k Breast Cancer walk!  Thanks to those of you who have donated!  Ya'll rock!  And those of you that can't donate right now, please keep the walker, the survivors and especially my friend, Shiloh in your prayers.  The prayers are worth every bit as much as the sponsorship!

Friday, October 9, 2009


I received two great comments to my last post and I first want to say to Jil:  Why do we not live closer?  I think we could be BFFs if only we were within driving distance of each other (well, we are, but it would take a couple of days to get there!).  You are so wise and honest and giving and I love all those things about you.  You're always in my corner, girl, even though we have never met face to face.  I love you for it.

I guess I am a little scared of being judged.  I have run into a LOT of judgmental people in other aspects of my walk of life and I hate it.  I know we all pass judgments from time to time but some do it with such reckless abandon that it is frightening.  I'm not in any way ashamed of the surgery I had; it gave me a whole new life that I'm loving BUT I totally have to WORK to keep that new life.  As Laura said "If all it took to lose weight was the surgery; you wouldn't even be at the Y!"  True.  So very true.  I have to make the conscious decision every day to exercise but it is so worth it for me, because I never want to revert back.

I didn't tell Jerry at first either, the first time he trained me with the stability ball.  I had told him I had lost a lot of weight but didn't tell him about the surgery.  Then I felt guilty (I don't get why, so don't ask.  I can't figure it out) because he was being so nice to me and I had not been upfront with him.  When I told him I even phrased it as if it was a terrible thing I was getting ready to tell him.  I said "I need to tell you something and I don't want you to think less of me..."  WTH?  I don't even make sense to myself sometimes. 

I think women are more difficult to tell.  I think we are more judgmental than our male counterparts.  We are always concerned about how we measure up against other women.  I find myself doing it at times and I hate it.  I prefer not caring what anyone else thinks about my life, but yet on some level, especially with my surgery, I do care.  I don't want people thinking I cheated, even if I don't believe that.  I don't want people thinking it of me.  But yet, I can't control what other people think so maybe that is why I elect to not always tell people.  Sometimes now, I almost forget I had surgery because time has passed and what I am doing now has more to do with just being normal (despite my half hour long dumping session the other night...that's the only time I don't feel normal).  I work , I clean, I exercise, I cook, I parent, I am a spouse.  Exercise is just a part of my day to day routine and I never think anymore "I need to exercise because I had this surgery and I need to be true to it." I exercise because I want to get to a size 14 and more importantly because, damn, it makes me feel better overall when I do work out.  I feel better physically and mentally for doing it. 

I guess it is just one of those things I need to come to terms with and sort out for myself about how to handle it in the future.  Not sure why it is so complicated for me, yet it is.

Happy weekend, kids!  Be safe!

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Should I Feel Guilty?

So really quick on The Biggest anyone else watching it?  Last night was kind of uneventful except for these observations/facts:

  • Shay and Daniel, my orange team, kicked the challenge to win immunity for the week.  I love these two.  They are so real and Dan is such an inspiration and the poster child for never giving up; see what you want and go for it! 

  • Anyone else want to kick Tracey's ass?  I love you, Coach Mo, but please, stand up to this hobag and don't allow her to make all the decisions for your team.  You wanted Julio to stay and she got her way one more time.  Ugh, it is becoming sickening.

  • Danny seems sweet, but Liz has not yet endeared herself to me, even though she had apparently done that with many members of the cast.  She seems to complain a lot, but again, we are only seeing what is being aired.

  • Julio went home and is kicking it on his own.  He looks GREAT!

Now, everyone knows the stigma that can go with WLS.  Some see it as "the easy way out" *cough, cough* though I don't know what planet those people are from, but whatever.  But anyway, due to that mentality, I don't generally tell strangers about my choices.  Jack McFarland knows as I think I told him at one of my first few kickboxing classes.  Jerry, the very nice older gentleman who works at the Y knows too as I told him.  But at the gym, that is kind of it as far as who knows about my surgery.

Now I have been taking a Muscle Makeover class with this very nice lady named Donna.  Really like her.  She knows a lot about fitness and is actually getting certified to be a personal trainer.  As she is a wealth of information, and I am constantly reading stuff on fitness, health, foods, etc, we chat a lot before class.  During our discussions, I have told her that I have lost over 100 pounds and at one point in one of our conversations, she asked me what made me finally decide to change my body.  I went into the whole having been overweight/obese since I was a kid and I just wanted the second part of my life to be different.  Tonight we were talking again and I was telling her about my crunches on the stability ball and even doing 200 of them, I had no feeling of soreness the next day anymore and she suggested I hold a weight while doing them.  I confessed to her how I wanted to be a size 14 but my body seemed to want to hang onto the 18.  Sherri, another lady in our class who sometimes teaches Spin, said that we all needed to get past the number and just work on health and I agreed but said I still wanted my number.  I have no desire to be a single digit size; I like to have some curves.  At the end of our conversation, Donna said to me "I'm just so proud of you for achieving so much."

Why do I feel guilty for not being up front about my surgery?  Is it because so many people have the "easy way out" mentality that we or at least I, occasionally wonder if I somehow cheated?  Do I need to be upfront with people I am discussing weight loss and fitness with?  What are the right answers?  I'm not ashamed of my surgery, yet at the same time, I don't want people thinking less of what I have done because I had it.  I have worked my ass off to get to where I am and I know that.  But should I feel guilty about not telling the whole truth?

Monday, October 5, 2009

Really Getting Down to Business

So I think exercising has become my new obsession, which is not a bad thing.  The Brit's is golf and exercise is mine and I really want in those size 14s and I really want to be below 200 pounds and I'm getting really close.  It's that time of the month right now so though I am doing all the same working out, I am not currently getting on the scale till probably the weekend.

I am also going to officially begin the C25K program.  I have been doing some treadmill running as I have mentioned and have dropped about 7 pounds with it, but I need to get more serious to get where I want to be.  I would really like to get through the nine weeks of the program if my knees cooperate.  I so far don't like running; I have yet to find any joy in it, but I also haven't given it enough of a chance yet, I don't think.  I may get to the end of the nine weeks and still hate it...or maybe I won't make it to the end of the nine weeks.  I downloaded the podcast for week one, which from what I understand has music and cues on when to begin running and when to stop.  Hopefully the songs are not crap .

I am nearly to goal on the breast cancer walk, so now anything more is a bonus.  Thank you to sister, Vicki on her donation, as well as to two families at church who have given me checks.  You all rock!

Friday, October 2, 2009

I've been a bad blogger

Insanely busy week, so sorry about the lack of posting!  Home is always busy, but the church was busy this week too and I was busy, and let's just stick to the facts, shall we?

My scale is still dropping.  I despise, loathe and detest running sprints, but by george, it has gotten my scale moving for the first time since June, so I will take it and literally run with it.  Jack taught an extra kickboxing class this week so I took that twice and only made one Muscle Makeover class but did run sprints Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  Three times a week is currently my goal and though it pains me to think it, I should next week switch from minute sprints to 90 seconds.  I don't want to, but I will and I have the weekend to groan in my head about it.

I visited Shiloh this week and she is doing incredibly well.  She still doesn't know a lot as far as her treatment goes as she hasn't met with the oncologist yet, but we all continue to pray for the best news.  But she was up and around and gave us a tour of her parents home where they are living and wow, what a beautiful place!  It was a really good visit and it's just sad that the oboxious place we met did not put us in a situation to become friends earlier, but we're there now and I look forward to seeing her again and cheering her on as she fights this disease.  Her children are positively precious and seem to be taking everything in stride for as much as young ones can comprehend what is happening.  They all need your prayers, so please keep them coming.

I have signed up for Washington County Relay for Life, but more on that way later as that is not till summer 2010, but it all has to do with walking and raising money to kick cancer's ass.  I am so grateful for the donations you all have given so far for the walk against breast cancer.  I am still $55 short of my goal, so if you can help, please go here and seach for Kimberly Jones and help me give cancer a big ole boot in it's backside.  Cures to breast cancer and all cancers start one step and one dollar at a time, so even small donations add up to amazing things.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Biggest Loser Wednesday

Wow, was last night emotional or what?

This week was the week of Choices and the first choice presented to the contestants was a 2lb advantage for a team at the weight in or not having their trainers for a week.  If no one jumped at this, the stakes would go up...a 4lb advantage, etc..

So Tracey, the chick who wound up in the hospital the first day and who is dear, sweet Mo's partner, decides two pounds is totally worth it and without consulting Mo, she takes it.  Seriously?  FOR TWO FREAKING POUNDS?  Of course, Jillian and Bob are livid when the truth comes out, explaining to Tracey Of The Crazy that she needs to trust the weight loss process and Bob and Jill to train them effectively.  Uh yeah.  I concur. 

So then we have a temptation, which always involves food.  The contestants are in little segregated areas and are faced with a miniature 100 calorie cupcake. (One contestant states he wants to take the cupcake and rub it all over his body...priceless!).  The rules are as follows...whoever eats the most cupcakes (they can chose not to eat any, which is what the smarter contestant should do IMHO) gets control of the game on weigh in day.  Meaning, that person can chose out of each team of two, which weight will count for the week.  Guess who eats four cupcakes?  Right, Tracey Of The Crazy. 

So people are worried as the loose canon of the week has their fate in her hands and poor Mo has no trainer thanks to Crazy Girl.  Some of the contestants speak to Tracey Of The Crazy before the weight in, asking her what her plans are for their team, to which  she responds with "What are you thinking?" Amanda, one of the smaller ones on campus asks to let her partner's weight be the one that counts, because Amanda has not been dropping big numbers.  Daniel asks for his weight to be the one that counts, because Shay, being the biggest girl ever on the show at close to 500lbs, needs to stay on the ranch. 

So the weigh in happens and Tracey of the Crazy pretty much does the opposite of what was asked of her.  Amanda's partner, Rebecca is chosen to have her weight not count, but thankfully Amanda pulls a 5 pound loss that keeps them out of trouble this week.  Antoine and Sean fall below with Daniel and Shay, because of course, Tracey of the Crazy picks Shay's weight to count.  b*tch.

So as is TBL custom, the contestants in danger of elimination sit down to plead their cases before the votes are cast.  Shay is devastated.  Her druggie mom is dead and she has no support anywhere.  She only wants to be happy and inside she is as far from that as she can get.  Shay is crying, other contestants are crying, I'm crying.  Antoine looks at Sean and says "Can you do this at home?" and Sean says "Yeah, can you?"

And just like that, two guys are every bit as selfless as Tracey of the Crazy was selfish this week.  The guys went home and have lost a bunch of weight already by the time last night's show aired and Shay and Daniel live to see another week.  Tracey of the Crazy now probably has a target on her back and judging by the previews for next week a little bit of karma is heading her way.

It's the good stuff, like Antoine and Sean that make me love this show.  I love the weight loss, the adaption of healthy lifestyles, but it's the stories that keep me coming back for more.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

It's Always Something

So I thought about writing about family drama, but I'm going to see how it all plays out.  It does not involve me other than I am a member of the family, thankfully (thankful that it doesn't involve me...thankful for being a member of the family depends on what day it is and what is going on LOL!).  Hopefully it will all resolve.

Shiloh is doing well well.  She came through her mastectomy fine and will start chemo in three weeks.  The pathology report came back and only two of eleven lymphnodes positive for metastatic cancer!!!! Keep the prayers coming gang as they are working!  Her outlook and attitude are incredible!

Huge blog THANK YOU to Shelley for sponsoring me for the 5K breast cancer walk!  Thank you, friend!  Shell lost a friend to breast cancer a few years back, so she knows firsthand what this disease can do.  Her donation will go with others to help support women getting mammograms and help for women battling breast cancer!  If you can help join in the fight by sponsoring me, please go to the CBA and search for my name (Kimberly Jones) to donate.  I am currently at $125.00 in donations and that beats my minimum goal of $75.  My high end goal is $200 and any more than that would just be a blessing!  Well, all donations are a blessing but an extra one!

I ran sprints again yesterday after a weekend of really bad eating and have dropped another two pounds.  I feel as if I have found a bit of magic for however long it lasts!  I am not to the point yet where I enjoy running minute sprints..the last thirty seconds, I am sure that death is right around the corner, but I'm getting through them and the results will keep me going. 

I don't post these kinds of things here to brag or to say "See what I'm doing."  I do it to keep myself accountable as well as in the hopes it may help someone else.  Exercise is rarely fun but the results are and I like sharing what I have learned, such as switching up your workout routine can do really cool stuff to your body!  It still amazes me, as a girl coming from 315+ pounds at one time that I can exercise!  It still amazes me that I was a soda-holic and now don't even crave them.  Sometimes if someone has a root beer, I'll have a sip, but that's it and that's all I need and that is an extremely rare thing!  I once scoffed at the people who would tell me that once I started drinking water I'd crave it.  Yeah, right!  But now I can see that it was oh so true.  I do crave it and drink more of it than I ever have before in my life.  The norm for me is 64 ounces a day of water alone and then we always get water in our foods as well. 

I think it also really important to stress that yeah, we are in a terrible economic time; we all know it.  Stress can take a terrible toll on us, so the importance of exercise and taking care of ourselves becomes even more important.  The best thing you can do for anyone you love is to take care of you.  Your loved ones want you around for years to come and when we put everyone else first, we inevitably place ourselves last.  In some situations, that is fine, but not so with health.  You won't be around to take care of your loved ones if you don't care for yourself. 

Be kind to yourself.

You deserve it and you are worth it.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Happy Friday!

There are people in my life who do not understand these friendships I make via the internet.  I have made friends from chat rooms and message boards and many from the blogosphere.  I have met people who helped me through my father's cancer diagnosis and eventual death, because they had already been there with their own father.  I have met women who were molested as children and we were able to help each other.  I've met people who share similar interests.  And I have met incredible women who took the WLS path before me.

Yesterday, Susan donated to my walking the 5K for breast cancer.  Today, Jil donated as well.  These are people I have never met face to face; have never spoken to on the telephone.  Just plain good people who are willing to invest in a cause that in some way affects or will affect us all.  So Jil, thank you, and I will be praying for your friend who is battling breast cancer.  We are in this to kick cancer's ass!

So, I ran sprints again minute sprints and three minutes recovery.  It nearly killed me but you know what?  For the first time in forever, my scale dropped three pounds this morning so I was totally motivated!  It's hard for me to run, but if it is the kick my body needs to get back to losing, then so be it.

Again, if you can help in the fight against breast cancer, go here and sponsor me in the 5k (Kimberly Jones), as I walk with Shiloh, her family and friends. 

Have a happy and safe weekend!

Peace out!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Thursday 13


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 So I'm trying something new from over at Donna's site...well, new to me, not new to the blogosphere.  So on Thursdays, I'm going to attempt to blog a list about thirteen things of my choice.  So, I'm starting simple with 13 things I still want to do before I die.  Goals are a good thing.

  1. Ride a horse on the beach
  2. parasail
  3. Write a novel for publication
  4. Travel to Ireland, Brazil and Hawaii
  5. lose these last freaking 50 pounds
  6. run a marathon
  7. Do live theater again
  8. Visit my hometown
  9. Own a big dog
  10. Discover as my kids grow up that I have been a halfway decent parent
  11. Go on a cruise
  12. see my church grow
  13. Spend a straight week in London, just exploring

And as far as I know, Shiloh came through surgery fine.  When I last heard she was in recovery, so keep those prayers coming.

This Day Has to Get Better, Right?

Yesterday was not a good day in my world.  Lots of irritation, lots of kids acting up, a little church drama, a lot of unnecessary rushing around due to changes in kid's plans and cryptic messages from kids being left on my cell phone.  Then a storm starts and kills the satellite right at 9:00 when "Glee" is coming on....not. a. good. day.  And so far this morning, I have had a spat with my husband and have left my cell phone at home.  Apparently, I need wine and lots of it tomorrow night.

I have always had some serious stress vices.  Food for example.  I got stressed, I ate.  And ate.  And ate.  I ate my way to 315 pounds (and actually I was once higher than that.  I found my old Curves stats papers last week.  Yikes!).  The only thing back then that helped me to not to eat as much was smoking.  Cigarettes, my dear old deadly friends.  But even to this day, when life gets really stressful, I want one...or ten.  I'm just choosing not to go buy a pack, which in all honesty, just adds more stress as I fight that inner battle whenever life gets tough. 

For me, there is a difference between relaxing and stress coping techniques.  I love internet surfing, reading and watching my favorite television shows, but these things are not stress busters for me.  They don't give me the same satisfaction when my nerves are on edge as food or smoking.  So what I have done is learned to use exercise as not only something to manage my weight, but to manage my stress. 

Taken off Hubpages, the following just proves the point:

The Psychological Benefits of Exercise

  • Physical activity is increasingly becoming part of the prescription for the treatment of depression and anxiety. Exercise alone is not a cure, but it does have a positive impact.
  • Research has found that regular physical activity appears as effective as psychotherapy for treating mild to moderate depression. Therapists also report that patients who exercise regularly simply feel better and are less likely to overeat or abuse alcohol and drugs.
  • Exercise can reduce anxiety - many studies have come to this conclusion. People who exercise report feeling less stressed or nervous. Even five minutes of aerobic exercise (exercise which requires oxygen, such as a step class, swimming, walking) can stimulate anti-anxiety effects.
  • Physical exercise helps to counteract the withdrawal, inactivity and feelings of hopelessness that characterize depression. Studies show that both aerobic and anaerobic exercise (exercise which does not require oxygen, such as weightlifting) have anti-depressive effects.
  • Moods such as tension, fatigue, anger and vigor are all positively affected by exercise.
  • Exercising can improve the way you perceive your physical condition, athletic abilities and body image. Enhanced self-esteem is another benefit.
  • Last, but not least, exercise brings you into contact with other people in a non-clinical, positive environment. For the length of your walk or workout or aqua-fit class, you engage with people who share your interest in that activity.


Endorphins are chemicals produced in the brain, which bind to neuro-receptors to give relief from pain. Discovered in 1975, endorphins are believed to: relieve pain; enhance the immune system; reduce stress; and delay the aging process. Exercise stimulates the release of endorphins, sending these chemicals throughout the body. Endorphin release varies from person to person; some people will feel an endorphin rush, or second wind, after jogging for 10 minutes. Others will jog for half an hour before their second wind kicks in. You don't have to exercise vigorously to stimulate endorphin release: meditation, acupuncture, massage therapy, even eating spicy food or breathing deeply - these all cause your body to produce endorphins naturally.

Kind of amazing when you think about it.  So I don't just exercise for weight benefits or because I like to be busy running to the gym.  Technically, my exercising is probably keeping people alive and me from completely alienating everyone in my world, because I am angry and on the verge of a major eruption of volcanic proportion some days.  It's not always a cure-all for a bad day, but it definitely helps. 

I have actually discovered that when I am skipping exercise, not only do I lack energy, but it shows in my mood as well.  I am more irritable on a regular basis or just feel "out of sorts".  I think that once one starts exercising regularly, the brain starts to depend on those endorphins being released and when it suddenly stops for some reason (like vacation) the brain reacts or goes into withdrawal or something.  I just think that all in all, exercise is a good thing for everyone to do, and it is definitely a MUST for me.  My life is stressful, as is everyone's.  I spend a lot of time running kids to appointments, shopping, running errands for people, keeping a house clean in the face of three men, laundry, which is a full time job on its own and daily coming up with things to cook when I despise all things culinary.  I would like to think that it is known fact, that the women of the households are who keep it running smoothly.  If we stopped doing what we do, well, let's not even go there.  It is also an under appreciated job.  No one says "thanks for my clean clothes, mom!" or anything like that.  In other jobs, you have a paycheck to show you did your job; not so with motherhood.  Clean clothes, clean house, food in the fridge and on the table, simply becomes the "norm".  People really only notice it when it ceases to exist. 

Okay, did not mean to go off that tangent, but you see what I mean about stress.  It exists for all of us so if you are feeling particularly fragile or explosive, go climb on an elliptical, or walk a mile, or cycle.  Chances are, you will feel much better for having done so.  Besides, it is a good way for mothers to thank themselves for a job well done.

In other news, my friend Shiloh is probably in surgery right now for a mastectomy, so please keep her in your prayers today and in the days to come.  The good news is that there was no call when her x ray and blood work results came back to indicate the cancer had spread.  I'll let you know how she did when I text her hubby later.

And speaking of Shiloh, thank you to Susan for sponsoring my walk and helping us to kick cancer's ass!  Susan and I have never met in person and she found my blog when she was looking into having RNY.  She has since had the surgery and is doing great.  Thanks a million, Susan, for your pledge!  It means a lot.

If you can help, go here and sponsor me in the 5k (Kimberly Jones), as I walk with Shiloh, her family and friends.  Chances are if we can find a cure to any one kind of cancer, the rest will follow!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Biggest Loser Wednesday

I loved last night's show. 

For those of you who don't watch, Week Two on the ranch is notorious for being a bad week.  When you take people who don't eat right and don't exercise and start them on intense exercise and a healthy diet, they have amazing losses the first week.  And they did.  But such extreme weight loss puts a strain on the body and freaks it out a bit.  It isn't sure what is going on, and it reacts by going into a starvation mode, convinced that it is facing a famine, and wants to hang on to everything it has.

Thus Week Two.  People who have eaten right and worked out like a crazy person have GAINED on the show in week two.  So what happens?  In typical BL fashion, they are presented with a challenge.  If the 15 contestants lose a combined total of 150 pounds in week two, no one goes home.  If they don't...two* people go home. I nearly swallowed my face and when the contestants told Bob and Jillian found out, they were pretty freaked out too.  After all, there has never been a good week two yet alone attempting to have one of this proportion.

But these 15 people took on the challenge with commitment and isn't that what losing weight is all about?  BL also gave them some headway.  Two challenges, both won, gave them I believe it was a 35 pound advantage at the weigh in. 

Shay broke my heart a little bit last night when she told Bob she wanted to be happy and that she never has been.  Her mom was a drug addict who died at a young age and Shay is the heaviest woman in BL history.  Bob not only made her say through tears that she DESERVED to be happy, but assured her, he was going to make sure she achieved that goal.

So the weigh in!  After the first team of two failed to pull the numbers they needed (and in their defense, I think they are the smallest two girls.  The less you weigh, the smaller your numbers seem to be each week) things took off and not only did they lose the 115 pounds, they lost without the advantage, the 150 pounds between them! 

I cried me some happy tears.

My scale on the other hand, is not moving and is pissing me off.  I need to do something else, but am not sure of what to do.  I am thankful I am not gaining, of course, but moving to a lower number would be nice.  What do I change up?  What worked for you guys, my WLS friends.  I have pretty much been on a plateau since a few weeks into summer and I am getting frustrated given that I workout five days a week.

And a huge THANK YOU to Robyn for her donation for my walk with the CVA CV!  Love ya, girl and yes, we are one day going to kick the butt of this disease and cancer in general!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


So, my friend, Shiloh, who has just been diagnosed with breast cancer, has asked me to walk a 5k with her, her family and some other friends on October 24th, for the BCA CV.  I am signed up and ready to go.  But I need some sponsors!  You can donate as little as a few bucks if you can.  My low end goal is $75.  My high end goal is $200.  If you can help, go here and click on "Donate to a Participant".  Then type in either my name (Kimberly Jones) or go under our team name of "Gooses Girls" and find my name that way.  Anything you can do will help the cause.  On their main page, you can read about what the funds go to...early detection programs as well as post-op programs.  100% of the funds raised go into these all so important programs. 

So, I am asking you to help my friend, through me, but sponsoring.  Plus, I get to walk my first 5K for a great cause, which is pretty cool.

Today has been busy; cat to the vet for possible bladder irritation, work, groceries and soon kickboxing.  I'm already feeling drained because I was awake at 4:00 because of noisy garbage men and worrying about the cat.  My cats are my other kids, so when something is wrong with either, I lay awake and worry.  Plus it was a little warm last night and I had issues getting comfortable.  But the cat is more or less fine...hopefully a change in diet will do the trick.  I'm going to be optimistic.

And tonight is "The Biggest Loser" so I'll give you my thoughts on that tomorrow.  And wasn't the season premiere of "House" fabulous?   I loved it!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Questions, Answers and Comments

I am trying diligently to blog a bit more regularly though I really don't think I want to be a slave to it any longer.  I have now experienced the freedom of not feeling as if I have to blog and I like having the choice (I guess I always had the choice, I was just a little OCD about it).

So last week, I posted about my
issues here, and my delightful sister in law, Shannon asked me this:

Kim, I agree with your statements on the two main subjects, and that is confusing me, because I've always considered myself a conservative. Maybe it's because I also believe in the "judge not, lest ye be judged" passage.

Now how about another subject, such as gun control? For or against it? I am against gun control because government can't guarantee me that they will get all the guns away from the criminals. Until that happens, I want to keep mine for protection against them. Is that a conservative viewpoint or liberal?

Well, this compelled me to do a little looking.  Remember, I am pretty non-political and after
finding this, I am even less political than I thought.  Even on the issues I spoke about in the above mentioned post, my views are a bit different from the liberal views cited on this site.  I do believe that human life begins at conception, which is a conservative view, but I also believe that a choice should not be taken away for the reasons I mentioned in my post.  I don't know how I feel about the death penalty either.  What I do know is that prisons are too easy for hardened criminals.  If you are in jail, especially for a serious crime (I mean, they are all serious, but I'm talking rape, murder, kidnapping, child abuse etc)  I don't think you should be allowed to get a college degree, or television rights etc.  We have people living honest lives who don't have the money for those things, plus I assume my tax dollars are paying for it. 

This site also states that liberals are not concerned with the environment and that is so not me.  I have a great love of wildlife and oceans and mountains and rain forests, so I must fall into the conservative category there.  And according to this site, the folks who feel you can own a gun no matter what are conservatives.  Really?  I am so non-political I am confusing myself. 

I don't know how I feel about the gun thing, Shannon.  I think they are far too accessible for people to get a hold of.  I think it is too easy for crazy people to bear arms and for kids to get hold of them as well.  However, there are too many people in this country who have guns that I don't think the normal person's defense should be taken away.  Ugh, all very confusing.

When it comes to religion, I am conservative in many ways.  I don't think God's name should be taken out of the Pledge of Allegiance or off our money.  Our country was founded on Christian values, but I also know that other religions exist.  The problem I have is that it seems like everyone wants to defend the rights of the other religions by taking away the rights of the Christians.  Just my thoughts. 

So what does this make me?  I have no clue.  I only know how I feel about certain issues.  Maybe I need to not be so concerned with labels.

Let's move on to something that gives me less of a headache. 

Susan intrigued me with this:

Hi Kim, I have also hit a kind of plateau however I continue with my walking. Got to say I really enjoy it. I'm going to walk in the Balto. 1/2 marathon which will be approx. 13 miles. I feel very confident I can do this I just hope all the runners doing the 1/2 don't run me down.

Susan, when and where is the Baltimore half marathon?  I would love to do something like this!

She also said this:

And here you're going to think I'm crazy but I'm going to join Weight Watchers. I am approx. 10 1/2 months out and feel like I really need more of a structured food plan. They have this thing called E-Tools online that lets you track everything you eat so I think that will help me. Do you think it's silly that a RNY patient is joining WW ??

And nope, I don't think it is crazy.  In fact, I have heard of many RNYers going to Weight Watchers to help them continue to lose.  I also think though that has a food tracker too, so you may want to check that out!

Happy weekend, peeps!  Not sure if you will hear from me again before Monday or not.  Depends on if I have anything to say!

Peace out!