Friday, February 26, 2010

ETA: Though it Almost killed me....

.....A mile and a half run?



So I entered a contest over at Shut up and Run for a pair of ear buds for my ipod that are apparently the bee's knees for a runner (I still roll my eyes and giggle when I call myself that.� Not feelin' it yet!).� Now, I never win anything, but she is giving away ten pairs of them and only a kabillion 375 people have entered, so I guess there is a marginal chance I could win a pair.� I love mine for walking but when the sweat starts dripping when I am running, they like to slide out my ears and then I have that distraction while trying not to fall off the treadmill.

You may have noticed I have included links to some of the running blogs I have been following.� Some of these folks are seasoned runners and others are newbies like yours truly, but I find reading them to be pretty interesting.� I have a special place in my heart for new female runners in their forties, and would love to find some more blogs of these women that I know are out there!

When I develop an interest in something, I go full speed ahead with trying to gather up all information I possibly can on the subject.� So I am currently reading this:

and will be following that up with this by the same author:

And this is also sitting on my table waiting for my attention:

So much to learn, so little time.

Today's goal is to STRETCH as I need to turn down the suck on that and then to run 1.50 miles.� I don't know yet if I am feeling it, but I am certainly going to try.� No run yesterday.� Legs felt sore so I ellipticalled for thirty minutes instead followed by crunches.� We will call that a cross training day.� So today is a run day and I'll see how it goes.

Also, yesterday that the Y, Jerry gave me a form for�a 5k in June that he felt I could run/walk.� I'm thinking about it.� It would be�nice to have a goal as I tend to do fairly well with those.

My low carb Lent is also sucking.� I am currently running to support my carb habit.� Ugh.� But every day is a new day and a new chance to get it right.� So far today, so good.

Weekend plans?� Not a clue.� No kids as grandma wants them, so things are wide open.� Costco probably Sunday, but tomorrow is wide open.� Anyone free?� Want to get into something like dinner?� Who knows?� Shoot me a line with any suggestions.� In the meantime, have a happy weekend and I shall see you on Monday!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Thursday 13

I really struggled with what 13 things to list this week, which is kind of sad as it is only week 2 of my doing this!  But nothing was really jumping out at me and I got all my complaining out of my system yesterday.  So how about this:

13 Things I love about Spring

  1.  Watching the trees take on new life.  Once barren and desolate, tiny sprigs of green began to form which will eventually bring shade to warm summer days.

  2. Warm days.  Enough said.

  3. Being able to open the windows in my house to air it all out after a cold, confining winter.

  4. Walking and running outside.  I could do this in the winter, but I'd rather eat poo.

  5. Fire Pit Fridays

  6. Being able to put away winter sweaters and break out out the shorts and sandals.

  7. Being barefoot.

  8. The sound of kids playing outside.

  9. Daylight savings time ends.

  10. Cleaning all the salt residue off my car and giving it a good cleaning.

  11. Working in the yard and garden.

  12. Walks around the park with Tod.

  13. Driving with the windows down.

So ready for Spring, people!

I went out on a limb today and am waiting to see if I will receive A) a kick in the teeth for it; no answer at all; or C) a pleasant surprise. 

We will be kidless this weekend as their grandmother asked if she could have them, so I am wondering what thing we can get up to.  Need to make a Costco run, but am not sure if it is in the budget this week.

Oh and used the new treadmill yesterday!  YAY!  Kickin' baby!  Only ran one painful mile (that whole Tuesday night kickboxing brutality) and walked a mile.  Is it okay to run several days in a row?  I plan to maybe run today after work, but I'll have to see how I feel.

I love my shirts with the thumb holes.  So warm and snuggie!

***Thursday 13 is a little blog meme that is shared across the internets.  To participate, please go here and sign up!


Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Today is Shaping up to SUCK

Okay, so that�might be slightly over dramatic.� The morning is just having its share of irritations.� Irritation #1 is really bugging me today.� Why can't I get straight answers for things I need?� Why does he always talk over me when I am trying to get to the answer?� Irritation #2 I usually don't see on Wednesdays, but because they are calling for a few inches of snow tonight, this irritation is coming in today.� It's like a double whammy.� And that irritation talks too...A LOT and basically says nothing, especially nothing positive...about anything.� You know the type.

So my motto of the day is:

I don't need anger management; you just need to stop pissing me off!

Then there is the teenager I am currently living with.� These people are difficult!� He thinks I am the most unreasonable person in the world because I parent him.� He has this friend up the road, M.� Now M, from my point of view, pretty much gets to run the neighborhood as he wants to.� My kids do this to a certain extent, but come dark, in the winter, I want them inside.� The teen does not get this.� I try to explain to him that there is a difference with kids being outside at 8:30 or 9:00 in June and kids being outside at 8:30 or 9:00 in February.� Summer months it is daylight longer, plus people are outside and out and about.� Winter, people are in, snuggled in front of their television, wishing to hell spring would get here (or maybe that is just me).

The teen also tends to do some stupid stuff when he is with M, such as having snowball fights across our neighbor's front porch (the neighbor who is elderly and has Parkinson's.) or taking off on their bikes to ride downtown without asking.� So last night when kickboxing time came around, my teen wanted to stay home and play with M, to which I told him no.� Then he asked if he could go back out once we got home and again, I told him no,� because by the time we got home and ate dinner it would be 8:15.� So he sulked and didn't speak to me at Y until the end of kickboxing.� Of course, I told Jack McFarland and my kickboxing buddies the evil I had done and they all agreed that I was being responsible, they would do the same thing, and that he is�a teen and is supposed to be angry with me all the time.� It's just hard when you want to make your kids happy but yet you can't always do that and still be a responsible parent...and the kids don't get that and won't until they have kids of their own.� Oy.

Walmart also pisses me off.� Why is it one week they have plenty of everything I need and the next week they are out of the stuff I buy every freaking week?� I think the people who do the ordering need new jobs or something.� They used to carry my Kashi Pumpkin Spice Flax bars and then a year and a half ago, they quit carrying them.� Oh, they still carried Kashi products, but not those and then some silly woman who worked there told me Kashi was no longer sending them out to this part of the country.� Really?� Then why can I get them at Martins, Weis and Target?� They are in the same TOWN.� Oy.

And every few weeks they are out of my Crystal Light Wild Strawberry drink mix.� Always that flavor!� Shouldn't that maybe tell someone they need to be ordering more?� So now today I have to go to a store or twelve to find this stuff and the Kashi bars.� And to get the best price, I have to go to different stores.� Oy.

/vent...I think.

Today I am working out on my new treadmill.� Not sure if i will be running as kickboxing was brutal last night and my legs were still aching from Monday's run.

So what are you all grumpy about today?

And Robyn, thanks for the pep talk. I appreciate it.� I don't think I have completely lost my touch either, though there was a time when I would have thought exactly that, but not anymore.� I do find it funny that at 300+ pounds, I was always cast and that now that I am close to normal, it didn't happen.�� Amuses me greatly!

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Life and Auditions are a Process

So I got the call� that I was not cast in "Steel Magnolias".� Again, it is all good; I don't have to rearrange my schedule to make it happen, but now that the decisions have been made, I have to state a few things I observed.

When asked on my audition page what parts I was interested in, I put "any" because there are no bad parts in the show.� I also assumed automatically that I am too old now to play Shelby or Annelle.� My best bets, given that there were older women there auditioning for the parts of older women, were Truvey or M'Lynn.� He did not read me for M'Lynn at all and this bothered me somewhat.� I can pretty much guarantee who he did cast in that role from my one hour in auditions (and he still had another day of auditions to do) and the fact that I figured that out, bothers me too.�

There was also another woman there (and this has nothing to do with auditions as a technical aspect) who I am sure he cast, and is a regular with the theater�company, both on stage and as a director,�who made me crazy.� She was just a bit over the top in my opinion.� After reading a scene with her and several other people, where she played the part of M'lynn after her daughter's funeral (so emotional scene in the event any of you live under a rock and have not seen the movie) she held out her "trembling" hand and said "I'm still shaking."� Okay, maybe she really felt the scene that deeply even with no lead in to it, but seriously?� Then she says to me "OMG, I am so glad I did not wear my earrings as they are the same as yours!"� Again, seriously?� It isn't like we were wearing the same OUTFIT...mine matched.� Yeah, yeah, MEOW.� But it's true.

So, no, I am not being a bad loser.� These are just a few things that bothered me about the experience.� The people I auditioned with were very good, save one, so I'm sure it was a hard decision.� I don't know this director and how he works, and though he disappointed me in my own personal audition process, he may be very good.� I have also been quite spoiled by getting to work with some great directors in my community theater career, who knew me well and knew my capabilities.� This person did not, and my audition was probably rusty after a seven year absence.� So, the best of luck to the cast and as for me, I will continue on in my happy little full life.

Jimnotmike, low carb Lent is going okay.� Not perfect, but okay.� I have made definite progress with a few slip ups...deliberate as they were.� Italian meal bread.� A downfall of mine.� Serve me cold bread and I won't touch it.� Warm and fresh and I am a goner!� But I am plugging along.� Evenings are really hard for me as�I like to nibble while watching�TV.� Sometimes it is cucumber and the occasional SF jello, but sometimes�neither thing gets it for me. Suggestions?

Tonight is kickboxing and I am still feeling a little bit fatigued from the blood giving of yesterday.� Hopefully it will pass soon and I keep sucking down water to remedy it.� Just still feeling like I could sleep.

Is there a new Biggest Loser tonight?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Running and Blood

Do I have your attention with that title?  HA!  No bleeding from running so don't worry.  I did run 1.25 miles again today and the blood comes in as I went to donate it right after my workout, so it has left me exhausted tonight.  But I knew I had to get the workout in before the blood donation. 

This weekend was a whirlwind for the most part.  Saturday, The Brit went to look at cars as his was dying a slow and painful death.  He would up buying a four door Tacoma Truck; way nice.  Then we headed to WV for auditions and treadmill. 

Auditions went okay, but I don't think I will be cast and I am good with that.  He read me for two parts, but the bigger problem (only a problem for me really) is that there were actually older women there to play the parts of older women.  Anyway, tonight were callbacks and I did not get one.  Maybe he loved me and wants me for Truvey, but personally, I doubt it.  But it's all good. I was not 100% committed in my head and heart anyway.  Though getting back to some theater would be great, there was still the time thing.  Yeah, I could make the time for rehearsals and will if I am cast, but if not cast, then I don't have to make the time.  Again, all good.  Maybe Someone is telling me that now is not the time for me to re-emerge into the theater scene.

We got the treadmill and I am thrilled to bits over having it here.  I am still a gym rat, but this is going to make days the kids are off school so much easier for me, or days when there is just a time issue due to appointments or whatever.  I never have to miss a scheduled workout again and it makes me happy as a clam.

We had dinner with Kelly on Saturday night after auditions and treadmill which is always a good time and then we got to go meet Lola, her newest canine family member and the kids and Brit got to meet all her other animals that I had already met.  Lola is a love.  I adore her.

Sunday, it was clean up the dining room to position the treadmill and for The Brit is was clean out the old car so we could return it to the dealer.  Then my mother, aunt and uncle came over for dinner which was very nice.

Happy birthday today to my sister, Vicki.  Not a clue how old she is, but it isn't polite to say anyway.  Hope she had a great day!

Okay, back to vegging out on the sofa.  I am actually ready to sleep but doing so would have me up at like five and I so don't want that!

Friday, February 19, 2010


That is how far I ran on the treadmill today.  I kick ass.  I was very excited.  My goal was a mile, which is what I did yesterday, so today when I hit the mile, though tired, I knew I could push it a little bit further and I did.

Honestly, running is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.  Honestly, nothing has made me feel more strong physically.  Finishing a run, even my little bitty runs so far, makes me just feel incredible and like anything is possible.  It brings me a sense of fulfillment.  I can't even explain it.  It is so hard to's mind over body, but it is amazing.  I started out running for 30 second increments and then recovering for like 5 minutes and thought I was dying.  Now today I ran 1.25 miles.  It has taken me a long time to get there and I have had many interruptions.  Life gets in the way of this kind of stuff sometimes...things you need to build up to can be interrupted and that interruption sets you back from the schedule you had planned.  But life, and running is a marathon.  You just keep working and in the end you get there.

I get my treadmill tomorrow.  So excited.  This will help me stay on target with training.  When I can't get to the gym, I can still run here...or outside when the weather warms up and some of this wretched snow melts.  But I feel better prepared now to keep focused and to stay on target.  I want to run a marathon one day, even a small one.  I want the experience.

Tomorrow is also auditions for Steel Magnolias and I'm nervous.  I was looking through my script tonight and remembering just how funny this show is and how much I enjoyed it the first time.  Just let my newfound confidence shine through tomorrow in a good way.  I would love to be cast, will be mildly disappointed if I'm not, but not crushed.  My life is full now and if cast, I will be adding something else to it, which is good but not imperative, if that makes any sense. 

My mother is insistent that I don't have time to do a show because she worries about me overdoing it now.  I don't quite get that.  I don't see my life as overly busy for a married person, working a part time job, who has kids.  Aren't all moms busy?  I work four hours a day, five days a week.  I go to the gym at least 4 days a week for about an hour.  I periodically have appointment for me or the kids.  I have praise band one night a week.  I keep up the house and cook dinner and the slow cooker is my friend.  I don't see this as being so busy anyone has a cause to be worried.

Life is for living and I plan on wringing every last drop of life from what I am given before I leave this world. 

Now, I have to go visit some Thursday 13 bloggers.  They gave me some love yesterday and that rocks.

Happy weekend!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Thursday Thirteen

I am going to try this Thursday Thirteen thing because one day a week, I would love to find some mindless blogging.

But first, in order to thank him and make his day with a blog mention, Jimnotmike has been very supportive in my low carb adventures.  Check out some of his comments with low carb suggestions.  Yesterdays was for pizza, which is a favorite treat of mine that I bypassed yesterday.

So, for my first Thursday Thirteen, I am going to do thirteen things I think are the bee's knees about losing weight.

  1. Stairs.  I can run up and down them without any problems.  The only problem I ever have is the day after kickboxing when my knees are killing me and that is only an issue if I am not wearing shoes at home.
  2. Shopping off most racks.  Though I am still a size 18, I can generally find those and no longer have to set foot in Lane Bryant and Fashion Bug.  Actually, I prefer shopping off the racks at Goodwill!
  3. Becoming in tune with my body.  This is a constant learning experience.  I am learning that it can do things I never imagined it would.  Even a year ago, I could not have imagined myself running, yet now I do.  Okay, it is slow and not yet far, but still RUNNING!  ME!
  4. Hair.  I no longer have to hide behind it.  It is now shorter than it has been, oh, probably since birth, and I adore it.  No frills, no work.  I have way more important things to do than to mess with a high maintenance hair style.
  5. Breathing.  Huffing and puffing is no more.
  6. A new love of things like cucumber and apples and soup.  Never cared for any of it much before, but now they are staples of my week.
  7. Confidence.  I always thought I was a confident person, but apparently I wasn't because I certainly am now.  I don't care so much what other people think.  They can like me or hate me and if they hate me, it is not my issue.  It takes way more energy to hate someone than it does to be hated.
  8. A newfound sense of adventure.  There is very little I will not try now.  With weight came fear about failing at many things, either due to fitness or just to being too heavy to do it.  Not anymore.  Now I make lists in my head of things I want to experience.
  9. Being able to look at food in a different way and rarely having to think about it.  My eating habits are not perfect.  I eat things I shouldn't.  But on the flip side, the things that are really bad for me that I used to love, don't much interest me anymore.  Often now, things are too sweet or I just don't get the pleasure out of eating them anymore.  Sometimes they make me feel sick to eat them.  But it's all good as it keeps me in check for the most part.
  10. I now feel rested in the morning and my back does not kill me.  At 315 pounds, I often couldn't sleep more than 6 hours without pain.  It is so nice to get a good night's sleep.
  11. Exercise and now understanding the benefits of it.  Yeah, you heard.  I agree there are definite benefits to exercise and now I even get bitchy if I have to go a few days without it.
  12. The Great Outdoors.  I love being outside now whenever weather allows.  Walking, biking, running.  I want to give hiking a try one day.  Yeah, I still hate the cold, but providing it is not unbearable, let me out to exercise or do yard work.
  13. Feeling at home in my own body.  This is a huge one for me. I no longer feel like my body is some alien that has been surgically attached to me.  I am discovering that it can do great things and I am comfortable while it is doing those things.  I no longer long for invisibility.  It's all good.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!


The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others� comments. It�s easy, and fun!

Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Day One Down; 39 to Go

So day one of low carbing it has gone well, though it had a scary moment.  The Brit called me to go to lunch to one of our favorite little Italian places...which meant the pizza temptation.  But I opted for salad though I did eat the cheese off the second half slice of his pizza...but no bread.  Yay me!  

I had an easy day at the gym as last night's kickboxing was crushing.  So I ran/walked two miles today, half miles at a time, alternating.  Finished off with 50 crunches on the ball while lifting a medicine ball.  Would have liked to have ran more today, but my legs were just aching from last night, so I didn't want to push it and risk injury.

So now I have another dilemma.  Auditions for "Steel Magnolias" are this weekend and despite the cons to auditioning and possibly getting cast, I am leaning towards auditioning.  The cons are of course, time.  But the flip side to that is that I hate winter and with the show going up in April, rehearsing it will help see me through to the start of spring.  I have done this show once before and it was a wonderful experience and it is on my list of shows I would do again gladly.  Of course, I am rusty, having not auditioned for anything in over 7 years.  I foresee nerves playing up a bit, but I think I am game to audition.  If the talent is amazing and I don't get cast, that's fine.  If I do, I will embrace an experience I have not gotten to have in 7 plus years.  Theater was once the most major part of my life; I did back to back shows at a theater where a show ran for 8 weeks.  This one will only run two weekends and will be a nice revisiting of one of my great loves.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Lenten 40 Day Carb Challenge

So do you think it is wrong to combine religious beliefs with healthy eating?  Ah well, whatever works.

So it starts tomorrow, so there should be rules, I think.  Yes?  Of course yes. 

The carbs I am swearing off until Easter are:

Any and all chip-like material.  This includes the demonous (new word.  You like?) Chex Mix and the pretzels of Lucifer.

Any and all high sugar snacks.  My current demons are: orange slices, peach rings and the occasional York Peppermint Patty.

White bread and white potatoes.  I don't do much of these anyway, but still good to put it out there.

What is permissible:

Sugar free desserts, such as the single servings of sugar free jello with lite Cool Whip or any sugar free treat if we go out to dinner.  Again, this is something I rarely partake in (the dessert, not the jello) anyway.

Hmmm.  Is there anything else or are those my only struggles? I think that is it. 

My cat has been eating today!  Such a massive relief.  But every time one stressful thing calms down, there is another one to take its place.  They delayed school today by two hours, so I went in two hours late, which I hate doing.  It is actually easier for me to deal with kids when there is no school as there are grandparents willing to help, but two hour delays there are very few remedies for.  Now the stupid school board has called for another two hour delay tomorrow!  (Icy back roads in the mornings apparently).  I do not want to go in late again, because I need to make up the time and 1) if I have to work 11-3 tomorrow, that means no gym and 2) JJ has an eye appointment at 3:00 I need to pick him up for. So, I am considering one of three things:

1) and my least favorite plan is take them to work with me for two hours and then bring them home in time to get to school.  Problems here are there is nothing for them to do at my job other than bother me, which means I'd may as well have stayed home anyway for as much as I will get accomplished.  Plus it is not very cost or time effective for me to go to work and then turn around and drive back home again and then back to work, all between 8:30-10:00.

2) I leave them here like I do in the summer, and then come home by 10:00 to make sure they get off to school or

3) I leave them here like I do in the summer, and call at 10:00 to get the oldest out the door and call again at 10:20 to get the youngest one out the door.

It is all slightly nerve wracking, but the weather is making it very hard to do my job and get done the things I want and need to accomplish.  So we will discuss the plans at dinner tonight after kickboxing and see what the consensus is.

Anyone else giving up anything for Lent?

Monday, February 15, 2010

Busy But All Good

It has been an insanely busy couple of days!

Friday night lock in at the church...always a good time.  Much laughter, little sleep, woke up freezing, but there are things to be said for health.  Where once spending the night in a large, open space and waking up cold would have had me sick, not anymore.  Now, I am all healthy and being sick is a rarity.

Saturday, lunch with Kelly and Robyn and tie dying at Lisa's.  Have to tell you...I adore my Kelly.  I don't see her enough but it is always great fun and a joy to be in her presence for a day.  We seem to agree on most things (either that or she fakes agreement ), have similar passions in life and just generally enjoy life for the most part.  So, anyway, by Saturday night, I was exhausted and in need of sleep.

Sunday was church and a potluck and a meeting and a celebration of Paula's 15 years of service with the church.  She was very surprised and we had a good time performing a silly little skit that probably only she understood that depicted a typical rehearsal for the praise band.  Sunday night was a group dinner at the Indian restaurant with Robyn, Tod, Lisa, Phil, Emily, Dave, Kelly, Deanna, The Brit and myself.  I polished off a bottle of wine single handedly and was offering Dave's birthday cake to all the servers including the one we called "Skinny kid", which is what I yelled to get his attention.  Good times.

Today, work, then off to Frederick for lunch and shopping with Tod and Kelly.  Again, great fun.  Our final stop was the running store as Tod was finally convinced to bite the bullet and invest in for real running shoes.  While he was fitted, Kelly and I wandered around and I bought a t shirt, key chain and decal for my car that says "runner girl".  Kelly, on the hand, a non-runner, is very amused by things that are novel to her, which is quite funny.  For example, toe socks...socks with actual toes, like gloves for the feet.  And a under armour type shirt with thumb holes.  The shirt had her at thumb holes.  Too funny.

I very tentatively state that my cat seems to be a tiny bit better.  I have not heard any gagging, and she took a tiny bit of bacon tonight.  After a discussion with my real vet and not the other one I was stuck with on Friday, I am feeling cautiously optimistic.  She believe that Jasmine has to become acclimated to the medication and now she seems to be starting to move past the nausea.  Now we just have to work on her appetite.  Her very high thyroid level of 22 to start is down to just above 13 (normal is between one and two) and though she could use a higher dosage, the vet is waiting to see if she will better adjust to the medication.  Her other blood work was great...kidney function normal, liver function now normal.  So we hold our breaths and keep working with her.  I'm going to buy her for real bacon tomorrow (she had bacon bits tonight, so not fresh) and see if she will take more of that.  We will also try Pepcid and maybe a mild steroid to try to get her to eat more.  Will keep you posted.

No gym today, so kickboxing tomorrow night.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Just Make it Stop!

I swear, I have been on stress overload!

We had yet another freakin' blizzard Tuesday and Wednesday (yes, kickboxing was snowed out!)...another kabillion inches.  We shoveled a few times before it was over and about 7:30 last night, my mother called, hysterical.

Her neighbor had called her to tell her it looked like her carport might collapse from the weight of the snow, on her car.  So she is a crying mess, unable to go outside because she is 81 and her walks weren't shoveled.  So out the four of us went, into the barely plowed roads while it is still snowing to get my mother's car out of her carport.  The middle beam was bowed from the snow and though we didn't think it would actually fall, why risk it.  So we shoveled the car out (the snow plow had the car blocked in), moved the car, shoveled her walks and calmed her down before going back home.

Now I have a cat I am worried about.  Jasmine is about 11 years old, so that is about 66 in cat years.  She had recently lost a lot of weight and in taking her to the vet we found out she had hypothyroid.  The vet put her on meds which she has been on almost two weeks.  When the vet saw her, she said Jasmine had a heart murmur that day, which may be caused by the thyroid problem and would clear up with meds.  So though she had not put on any weight yet, she has been feeling pretty good; always playful, jumping up all over the place etc.  Last night she got a bit pukey, which turned into dry heaving and only producing some spit.  Today she has had a bit of that still but not as much, but I have not seen her eat anything.  Of course, a symptom of heart problems in cats is gagging.  But her gums are pink (good sign) and she is still a purr baby.  I'm hoping she just has an upset stomach and it is starting to clear up.  I may pick up a few cans of the forbidden wet food tomorrow just to try to get her to eat and to put some weight on her.  We'll see how it goes.

I did finally get to the gym today and guess what?  I RAN A MILE AND A HALF!  Okay, in all honesty, I ran the mile by itself, walked for ten and then ran another half mile, but I'll take it.  And though I will deny it if you ask me....I kind of enjoyed it.  Kind of.  Not totally committing to the enjoying of it yet, but that emotion was definitely somewhat present today.

I also stole this found a great quote today.  It says "Everyday, in some way, I am kicking ass." I kinda like that too.

Tomorrow I am back to work, and then sleeping at the church tomorrow night with the youth in order to make sandwiches and dip up soup.  So right now, I have a pot of chili on the stove, a pot of soup on the side to finish tomorrow, and brownies cooling for the lock in.  Tomorrow, I have to pick up ham and get a workout in after work.  Always so much to do!

Just let my cat be ok...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Enough, I Say!

So after twenty plus inches of snow over the weekend, we are now in Winter Fury 2010 Part Deuce....though Part Deuce can sit on it and rotate as far as I am concerned.  I am so over this.  Maybe it is time to move to a warmer climate because I am convinced someone picked up our house in the last few weeks and plopped it down in the middle of Bloodyhellitiscoldville.  Not to fond of the place myself.

So I got in a sort of workout last night, but my stability ball has lost serious air, so I need to blow that back up today.  But I did reverse crunches, some arm work with my five pound wimp weights (the only ones I have) and some planks.  I think my goal for this summer during my yardsaling is to find some smaller gym equipment for home, like eight or ten pound weights, or a medicine ball would be divine.  That way when the gym is not possible, at least I am prepared to git er done at home. 

I am praying for kickboxing tonight but it is iffy as it is not even noon yet and we have a wintery mix going on outside.  I have to go to Walmart shortly too and I am hoping that since the winter weather has started all the scaredy cats have run for cover and the store will not be busy.  Wishful thinking.  Then it is to mom's to pick up the kids.  I'm thinking I might be working from home tomorrow.  Just depends on how much crap we get.

So next week starts Lent and though I rarely give up anything for Lent (it's just not a practice I have ever much followed), I think this year I am going to.  I really need to get my carbs under control so I can one day get to that much coveted 199 on my scale (I swear if I ever see that number, you will hear me scream from here to California.  I have been hanging out at 207 for MONTHS!).  So for Lent, no more pointless carbs, which is defined by the following items: pretzels, chex mix, any kid of sweet, even sugar free.  My snacking is limited to fruits and veggies and the like.  They are still carbs, but not pointless.  So beginning next Wednesday, I am throwing down the gauntlet.  Enough to the carbs and the snow!  I am determined to at least come out standing in one of those two areas and I have no control over the snow, other than moving to a warmer climate, which is not in the foreseeable future.

I am going off the assumption that my children will not be in school the rest of the week, which kind of sucks, so I need to try to find some gym time.  I just cannot go an entire week with nothing but some floor work.  It makes me cranky.  I need to work up a good sweat with some good cardio.

So what do you guys do when the weather situation or some other problem keeps you from your normal workout?  If you usually walk and there is a buttload of snow on the ground, what is your alternative?  Give me your suggestions.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Holy Crap, What a Day

So after a wild Monday, I think life is finally turning a corner.

My morning started out with a phone call from my aunt on my dad's side, telling me my other aunt on my dad's side died yesterday and she didn't want to tell my mother over the phone, so could I tell her.  I told her it would have to wait till I got off work, but that then I would go over and tell her.  I wasn't close to this aunt, nor was my mother really, but it was still my dad's sister and there is still that whole "I'm old and everyone I know is dying" thing that I was afraid my mother would react to, so I spent the morning stressing over telling her.

Then mom calls me at work to tell me she needed me to take her back to the doctor for her ear.  Seriously?  So if he has to lance this thing again, she is going to be a basket case and I still have to tell her Aunt Carolyn died?  God, really?  I decided the 40 minute drive to the doctor's office was not the time to tell her as she was going to be all stressed out about what the doctor would do.  The best possible scenario would be that her ear was fine, she was just obsessing about it and then it would be much easier to tell her about Carolyn.

I called The Chosen One who would be meeting us at the doctor's office, so he could go back with her.  The whole way there I was afraid to talk for fear of blurting out "Carolyn's dead!" and then I felt guilty because I was holding information out on her. 

So we got there, my brother turned up and they went back, only to come back out in a matter of minutes.  All was good.  He was pleased with her ear.  She had only been obsessing.  Then the brother and I told her about Carolyn right there as the waiting room was empty.  She was shocked at first, but was really so relieved about her ear, that she took the news really well. 

The whole thing drained me completely.  But then the last several weeks (I think this started like January 12th?) have left me wiped out, burned out, and sapped of energy as I have only been able to get in minimal workouts.  So I'm thinking once The Brit goes upstairs tonight, I have a date with my stability ball and two five pound weights.  Hey, it's better than nothing.

Oh and I found a treadmill!  YAY me! and YAY Kelly for hooking me up!  I would love to get it this weekend if the friend of Kell's is available but we are expecting more freaking snow tomorrow (10-20 inches.  Again, SERIOUSLY?)  so it might not happen this weekend.  Plus I need to do some rearranging to make room for it, but I'll work that out.  Just to be able to get in cardio even on days like I have had the last few weeks will be bliss.  Who knows, I may actually get up to being able to run a mile without stopping!

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Wanted: Used Treadmill...a Deal Would be Nice

So with kids out of school tomorrow and a mother who may have to go back to the doctor's tomorrow afternoon, I am once again at a loss for a cardio workout.  It's really starting to bother me.  Yes, the circumstances are all beyond my control; they simply cannot be helped, but it does add to my frustration as well as my mood.  I've discussed before how lack of exercise really affects my overall general feeling of well being anymore.

So I am on a search for a treadmill at a very reasonable price (may be the only way I can get one) so that for days when getting to the gym is not possible on my time, (My time being when everyone else is at school/work) I could at least run at home, making me present for kids etc.  I thought my mother had one but had forgotten she had sold it to my sister, so that was a dead end.  A gal I know from an old job has one she is offering me for $425, but my concern is that it is a discontinued treadmill, so I might have a problem if anything goes wrong with it I may be screwed and the price is a little steep for me.  I looked it up and new, on the site I viewed was $600.  So yeah, a deal compared to a new one, but again, discontinued and a little steep in price for me.  She told me I could make an offer but I don't want her to take less than she wants and if she put it in the classifieds maybe she can get the price she wants for it. 

Another friend, Kelly, may know someone with one and is going to get back to me.  So, if any of my readers who are local know someone looking to sell off a treadmill, leave me a little comment with what you know.  It would be very much appreciated!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Winter Blues

So we just got twenty plus inches of snow dropped on us in the last twenty-four hours and I am so not happy.  I took some pictures but yes, I have been totally lazy today and cannot be bothered to download them, resize them, and upload them in order to post them.  Maybe tomorrow as there is no church due to the twenty-something inches of cold, miserable, white stuff. 

Have I mentioned before how much I hate winter?

Have I mentioned they are calling for more of this crap on Tuesday and that my kids will probably be off school till freakin' Thursday? 

Have I mentioned we are still not sure if my mother is finally on the upside of this surgery stuff?  Though all stitches are out, there is still concern about her ear.

Though all of this is beyond my control, I can still hate how sporadic it makes my workouts.  I ran on Thursday and could so tell I had not run a week and it makes me wonder how I am ever going to advance in running.  I still can't run a mile without stopping.  I guess it is just taking me more time than most due to time and circumstances of late.  Le sigh.  Still hate it though.

We are getting ready to go to dinner as we actually found an open place.  Our cars are dug out and The Brit actually went out for a drive; says the roads aren't great, but we'll make it.  We probably won't be battling much traffic.

I finished reading "The Last Song" last night before bed and spent the last few chapters crying like an idiot.  The end all just reminded me of my father's battle with cancer; of sitting up with him his last few nights, of watching him shrink in size and stature, of being with him when he took his last breath, telling him it was okay to go.  Hard stuff but such a gift to be able to see him Home that not everyone gets.  Anyway, good book, soon to be a movie starring Miley Cyrus, so I will probably maybe go see it with my ten year old huge Miley fan son.  As long as Hollywood stayed true to the book.  Hate it when they change stuff.  Pisses me off. 

Okay, getting ready to get out of here.  Hope you all in my neck of the woods are warm and not too snowed in.  The rest of you who don't get snow....I hate you. 

Winter Blues

So we just got twenty plus inches of snow dropped on us in the last twenty-four hours and I am so not happy.  I took some pictures but yes, I have been totally lazy today and cannot be bothered to download them, resize them, and upload them in order to post them.  Maybe tomorrow as there is no church due to the twenty-something inches of cold, miserable, white stuff. 

Have I mentioned before how much I hate winter?

Have I mentioned they are calling for more of this crap on Tuesday and that my kids will probably be off school till freakin' Thursday? 

Have I mentioned we are still not sure if my mother is finally on the upside of this surgery stuff?  Though all stitches are out, there is still concern about her ear.

Though all of this is beyond my control, I can still hate how sporadic it makes my workouts.  I ran on Thursday and could so tell I had not run a week and it makes me wonder how I am ever going to advance in running.  I still can't run a mile without stopping.  I guess it is just taking me more time than most due to time and circumstances of late.  Le sigh.  Still hate it though.

We are getting ready to go to dinner as we actually found an open place.  Our cars are dug out and The Brit actually went out for a drive; says the roads aren't great, but we'll make it.  We probably won't be battling much traffic.

I finished reading "The Last Song" last night before bed and spent the last few chapters crying like an idiot.  The end all just reminded me of my father's battle with cancer; of sitting up with him his last few nights, of watching him shrink in size and stature, of being with him when he took his last breath, telling him it was okay to go.  Hard stuff but such a gift to be able to see him Home that not everyone gets.  Anyway, good book, soon to be a movie starring Miley Cyrus, so I will probably maybe go see it with my ten year old huge Miley fan son.  As long as Hollywood stayed true to the book.  Hate it when they change stuff.  Pisses me off. 

Okay, getting ready to get out of here.  Hope you all in my neck of the woods are warm and not too snowed in.  The rest of you who don't get snow....I hate you. 

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Comments on Comments

So in response to yesterday's blog, Jimnotmike, posted this:

So, what I want to know is how your "Friend", when faced with such disdain from those fellow "Christians", handles it? I'm curious, because for me that particular "Christian influence" is what played such a huge role in my rethinking of my belief system. I guess where the gray area falls for me is in what makes a Christian a Christian and what makes a Christian a wacko? Any thoughts on that subject?

My friend handled the situation with grace and dignity that the author of the original email did not deserve, in my opinion.   Amongst the things he very politely told her, was this "
I am no less of a Christian than you are. I'm proud of who I am, who God has created me to be. Do you think that the people of *name of church* can't be led to see God by someone who thinks differently than they do? Can only conservative *name of denomination* point the way to Him?

So yes, this young man handled himself very well in the face of horrible judgment and criticism.  Kudos to him and I do believe this is the way God would feel.  Can only those morally, upright (or in many cases "uptight") Christians show the way?  My vote is "no".  Often the same kinds of Christians are also against females preaching and I have been involved with those who felt that way several years ago (so Jimnotmike, it is not only the gay issue for many of these self righteous people).  My argument to that is, who were the first people Jesus showed himself to after his resurrection?  Women.  And what did he tell them?  "Share the news with others." 

As far as the "what makes a Christian a Christian and what makes a Christian a wacko?" part, I think people can go the extreme with anything they believe in strongly and it's sad and often what gives the rest of us a bad name. Who would want to follow a God who wants His people to pass judgment on others?  Not too many folks sign up for that and I can't say as I blame them.  Looking down the end of one's nose at anyone else, in my opinion, is not a Christlike thing to do.  Jesus hung out with the tax collectors and the prostitute amongst others that the rest of the community looked at as "The villains" but he didn't judge them.  He didn't tell them they were going to hell.  What did He do?  He loved them.

I think a lot of Christians also hold too tightly to the Old Testament which is where all the anti-homosexuals get most of their ammunition.  But Jesus came in the New Testament, many years later and made a new covenant with God's people.  Jesus was a rebel.  Think about it.  Think about who he hung out with and some of the things he did.  He was human; fully human yet fully God.  And the greatest commandment He gave us, that Jesus himself gave years after the whole Ten Commandment thing?  "Love your neighbor as yourself."  Doesn't that just say it all? 

But you are always going to have people who are over the top about their beliefs and not just about Christianity.  I have an acquaintance, who after he lost a bunch of weight got absolutely crazy with exercise.  Not like me, crazy. Like 900 crunches crazy and running three times a day crazy.  People get their over the top crazy on with politics, with animal rights (I am all for animal rights, but c'mon, sometimes those PETA people....).  People go to the extreme and maybe it is to make themselves feel better or maybe if they are pointing the finger at someone else, they don't have to look too closely at themselves.  I have known Christians with gay siblings who refuse to associate with them and I know God isn't smiling down on that.  Common sense alone tells me that and if that isn't enough, that whole "love your neighbor" thing, I'm pretty sure that would include siblings.

Anyway, I could ramble on about this forever and I am so passionate about it, but I won't bore you with what many would only see as my own "uneducated and unchristianlike" opinions.  I am fortunate enough to be a part of a church who accepts people for who they are; the same way I believe God does.

And Sylvie said:

I think Christians like her are really the ones who keep non-believers like me from even talking to believers. Why do I want to start a conversation where the other person will just unleash vitriol instead of understanding? I think we need more Christians like you Kim, to bridge the gap.

Sylvie, thank you.   I always hope that if my words can make just one person think about things differently, then I have done some good for the world.  I totally get what you are saying, which is why when my church split, I could not go with the other side.  There were too many judgments of things I just didn't believe in, but when it was all said and done, I stood with the minority and now as a church, we struggle a bit financially, but when it comes to love and acceptance, what you find at my church is amazing.  And you know what else, Sylvie?  You are a non-believer talking to a believer in her comments section...and that's enough for right now.  We all have to start somewhere to bridge the gap.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

To Save A Life

I went to the movies today to see the above film.  I had never heard of it, but someone on Facebook suggested I become a fan of it, so I went to the website to check it out and was interested enough to go see it.

The film deals with teen suicide and is Christian based, which probably means it won't last long in theaters, but it was extremely well done.  It was the kind of movie that makes you want to be a better person, mother, youth group leader, whatever. 

Yet films like this always make me doubt everything where my own parenting skills are concerned, especially with my eldest son, who has always been a challenge to parent.  I never know if I am parenting him correctly.  His early childhood was not good with his biological parents (let's face it, had it been good, he would still be with them) and it is hard to know whether those experiences have made him the often difficult kid he is or if it is his ADHD.  But I keep trying to renew my efforts; to try to do things differently, to try something else.  I don't know what the answers are, I can only keep praying to find them. 

Had another little issue to discuss...the kid I mentioned a few weeks ago who came out of the closet?  Well, he has a great voice and is a passionate Christian.  However, the music person at his church has decided he should no longer be allowed to sing for his congregation.  She said he has "taken the name of God in vain, professed to be a Christian and then got up to sing" (sorry, what?) and that he had abused his "God given talent".  This troubles me so much because it is Christians like this woman who give the rest of a us a bad name and I hate it.  Being a Christian does not give us a right to judge and if I know nothing else about God, I know He loves all His children....and I don't think He would be pleased with the judgments this woman passed on this kid.  Christians have done so much damage to these relationships and I just wish there were more people willing to try to make amends.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

It's All About that First Year

I went to lunch today with friends and having a mad craving for pizza (my second favorite food next to sushi) I ordered a small which was also listed on the menu as a "personal" pizza.  Okay, it was not huge, but it was about 9 small, square pieces and it was the best pizza like ever.  And I managed to eat all of it but two pieces.


It was an intense reminder of how much more I can eat now than I could the first year after surgery.  Only now can I so clearly see how imperative the first year really is.  It is in that first year that we have to learn what is so important and for me, that was mainly getting into the habit of exercise, because the weight management is not always going to be easy.  If I were not the exercise addict I am now, I would be in some serious trouble.  I still love food.  I sometimes feel annoyed when I get full if I am eating something I especially like.  But I have changed the way I eat 95% of the time.  Oh, there is still that 5% time when I can eat almost a whole personal pizza, but then what I did was REALLY watch my food intake the rest of the day and made sure I worked especially hard in kickboxing tonight.  The pizza came with a price and an unspoken promise that I was going to not allow the pizza to win my entire day.  I loved every bite of it, but I know the calories it carried with it.  So yeah, I can eat it.  But yeah, I am going to make sure that eating it is not going to send me into a downward spiral of bad eating and not exercising.  Not an option, kids.  Not going back there and I will bust my ass to make sure it doesn't happen.

I can emotionally eat with the best of them.  After taking my mother for her final surgery on Monday, not only did I want a cigarette afterward, I wanted food in a bad way.  The cigarette was a definite NO, so I found myself in the Chex Mix thing I blogged about yesterday, BUT I had enough sense to realize what I was doing and got myself outside for a walk.

You have to use the first year to learn the tools you have to have for LIFE. And even if you have let things go and have put weight back on, it is never too late to learn what you need to do to get the scale moving in the direction you want it to, but it will not happen without work.  Know it, accept it and get it done.

Some Ho just outbid me on three books by John "the Penguin" Bingham on eBay.  Ticked me off, but I was not going any higher than $17.  His stuff was recommended to me by one of my YMCA instructors.  Though I don't take her class anymore, we ran into each other last week and got to chatting about running and apparently, he has a walk-run method that really interests me as that is pretty much what I have been doing so far. So I'll keep looking.  Sadly, the library does not carry his stuff.  Hmph.

Biggest Loser fans, is Jillian Michaels not amazing?

Monday, February 1, 2010

What Happened to Sunday?

So I survived last week's bus class, though we are still in the midst of mama drama with my mother and her ear.  My brother (yes, he stepped up!) had to take her back to the doctor on Friday as her ear was very painful, so they again stitched a bolster inside of it.  Then today, The Brit and I took her back for the second part of the nose surgery and the doc again messed with the ear, which leads to pain and I am so ready for all this to be over and I know she is too.  I'd like to think we are in the home stretch, but I don't want to jinx anything.

I am trying to get my food/exercise back in order again after too many weeks of abnormality with mom and my class.  When we got home today, I knew that by the time I got the Y, it would be packed and I hate that.  So I sat down to watch my soap opera and started nibbling on Chex Mix until I felt about half sick.  Getting up, my thought was "ENOUGH!".  So I called Tod and we did roughly a 2 mile walk.  I felt much better for it.

I have discovered that men have a talent for leaving things almost empty and it is so frustrating at times.  My favorite sweet snack is sugar free jello with a dollop of Light Cool Whip and The Brit likes the same only with sugar free pudding.  Twice....TWICE now I have gone for my dollop to only find barely a scrape left in the container.  Why not just use that little bit?  And even better, use that little bit and go to the basement to get a new container out of the freezer so the next person has non-frozen Cool Whip?  Seriously?  My kids do it too.  With milk or soda.  My oldest will drink all but those last two sips out of a two liter bottle of soda, just so he will not have to throw away the empty bottle.  Again, seriously?  Is throwing away a container out the back door into the recycle bin really all that taxing?  Men, don't answer that.  We already know the answer.

So along with sorting out my food and exercise, I am trying to catch up on my life this week both at work and at home.  Stuff needs done and I also need to study for my CDL tests...stupid air brakes.  I am such a girl when it comes down to mechanics.  I have this innate need to not care about how things like brakes work.  I simply don't care, but for the MVA tests, I have to pretend to!  HA!

Okay, getting late but wanted to update you all as to what was going on and I will try to write more tomorrow!