Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Weekly Update

I will be honest and say that I have not been exercising, but over the last two weeks, I have been slowly starting to change my eating habits.  The biggest thing I have done was suggested in Bob Greene's book "The Best Life Diet" and that was to stop eating two hours before bedtime.  This was actually a bit of a challenge for me, because evening is generally the only time I watch television and we all know how easy it is to eat in front of the tube.  So, I have worked on making a conscience effort to not do that. 

I have also made a conscience effort to plan my meals and my snacks.  Breakfast remains consistant with Cheerios and a banana (Juli, ya got them
Cheerios worked out yet? Here's a link to help ya out!).  Lunch can vary a bit, but not too much and my snacks have been small.  Today, I actually tried chocolate soy milk with banana and frozen strawberries in a blender (An Oprah recipe that was in Bob's book).  I will honestly say that I have never tried soy milk of any kind, but this little recipe was really good!  I'm getting the fruit and the sweet/chocolate thing at the same time.

With that being said, I have lost five pounds in the last week and I'm thinking that has been with minimal effort!  I am reminding myself that this is only a start and that there is a long way to go, but on the same token, this is a lifestyle change and not a diet.  It really helps to see things that way.


I have discovered that the age of seven is the age when children stop being sweet and adorable and start being little toads who repeat all the disrespectful things they learn in school; such as "Who cares?", "All right...geez" and "It's a free country, I  can do what I want."  I know they are simply a new set of boundaries as kids strive to become their own person, but getting the message through that it will not be tolerated at home is challenging.  Oh, he still has moments of sweet and adorable and then he has his lippy moments when my mouth falls open as I hear him say something for the first time. 

Okay, so I'll leave you with a few Christmas pictures!

We had an open house the Friday after Christmas and the house was abuzzin' from about 3:00 to 10:00. 

Sherie and her hubby, Keith were our first guests.  Aren't they too cute??

Keith always enjoys playing with the kids.  The grass on my table, incidently, is cat grass,which none of my cats liked, so I gave it to my mom.  I thought maybe I'd better explain odd, growing substance that looks rather out of place!

This is of course, Lisa, talking to my former roomie, Mike.  Mike was my purely platonic roomie in the three years before I met the Brit.  I don't get to see him very often anymore, but he always visits for the Christmas party.

And as always, my youngest always has a way with the ladies...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Late Fiber Fanatics Pictures

Okay, so let's back up a little bit as I was sorely behind in downloading pictures from the camera!  A couple of weeks ago, our knitting group, Fiber Fanatics, got together for their monthly meeting.  Upon walking into the room, I was greeted with this sight:

Yes, the yarn fairy had definately hocked a big ole yarn ball right there in the center of the room!  Actually, the sisters, in all their marvelous generousity, brought to us one fifth of their donated yarn so us to take home!  I got yarn to make knitted angels with, as well as a few other goodies, including yarn for the prayer shawl ministry at church.

Lisa and Barb (Kelly's mom, who joined us...YAY!) going through the eye candy.  Seated on the couch are two newbies to our group: Carolyn and Pam (I think I have that right.  I suck at names after only one meeting!).  They were delightful new knitters!

Here are Barb and Sherie and of course, our mistress of ceremonies, Annie.

Liz used to be so quiet, but I think she is feeling more comfortable with those she didn't know before.  I go through that myself, just trying to take it all in until I know folks.  When Liz first joined us, she was re-teaching herself knitting and now she is flying through scarves!

Robyn is also coming right along with her knitting and her hair is growing back, post chemo!  The weekend following this one, she had it cut and styled and it looks fabulous!

And of course, no gathering would be complete without Micki, the most accomplished knitter I know.  She is truly amazing!

This week is going to be catch up week as I did download pictures from the last few weekends as well as...ahem...Christmas.  Yes, I am very behind! 

I am a single parent again next week, due to the Brit having to return to Atlanta...ugh.  I'll be preparing for it Sunday at Lisa's Super Bowl party as it will probably be the last bit of adult conversation I have for a few days!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Are we really that jaded?

So, as most of you probably know, Shawn Hornbeck, the boy who was abducted at eleven years old and held by a creep by the name of Michael Devlin, was found a couple a couple of weeks ago after being missing for four and a half years.  What is both amazing and nauseating to me is that not only the media, but several bloggers whose blogs I have visited in catching up on information about the case are trying to say that this kid was happy with his circumstances during the time he was missing.  Why?  Because he was seen out without Devlin, riding his bike and hanging with friends.  People find it "odd" that the kid never made any attempt to escape.

Here's the bottom line.  No one knows what this kid went through.  Let's face it, chances are he may have been sexually molested, threatened and abused.  At eleven years old, fear can do something to a child.  If Shawn had been threatened with his life or the life of his family if he made any attempt to escape or contact authorities, he would have obeyed Devlin out of fear. 

Could he have gotten away?  Probably, but I say that as a forty year old who has some life experiences behind me and the ability to think rationally.  As I have an eleven year old son, I can honestly say that there are many days when my son could not think himself out of a paper bag.  Children that age simply do not have the skills to realize that they can safely change their situation and they have a remarkable ability to adapt.  My boys are both adopted, and my oldest lived minimally five different places before coming to live with us.  He adapted to each new circumstance, no matter how uncomfortable it may have been for him, and there were probably no threats involved in any of his situations.  Add threats for his safety and the safety of those he loves and he was going to adapt.  Much like Shawn Hornbeck.  A scared child, who was taken away from his parents, threatened (highly possible) and he simply went into a survival mode and did what he had to do to stay alive.

As a fan of Oprah, I was highly disappointed that Shawn and his parents appeared on her show less than a week after the kid was found.  One of the three adults (Oprah and Shawn's parents) should have had the common sense to say, "Hey, this is not a good idea.  This kid has been through a lot and throwing him in front of cameras is just not going to be good for him mentally or emotionally right now."  Add to that the fact that Oprah asked the parents if they thought he had been sexually molested and they said yes, right there on national television with this poor teenage boy sitting right between them.  I wanted to throw up as I felt so terrible for the kid.  No teenager would want to put that out there for all the world to see as he is trying to come to grips with what happened to him. 

Other media figures are doing similar, horrible things, by stating Shawn was "happy" with his circumstances.  It's sickening.  I know that news coverage is necessary, but so often, they just go too far.  Shawn's story has not yet come out and Devlin isn't discussing the case either, so the need to speculate takes over and it shouldn't.  No one knows what this boy went through over the past four and a half years, and in my opinion, it isn't anyone's business other than his, his parents, and I suppose the lawyers and therapists who are involved.  But let's not start making stuff up because no one is talking yet.  No matter what this kid did or didn't do, the fact remains that he is a child and at the time abducted, a much younger child.  Unless these folks who want to speak negatively about his actions have ever been in that situation, they have no right to speculate.  No one knows what they would do in those circumstances unless they were faced with them directly.

Let's have a little common sense here and instead of critisizing what this child did, let's just rejoice in the fact that he and Ben were found, and that both boys are back home and getting the help that they need. 

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Yes, Hagrid Hair, it's now Thursday!

So, Juli decided to comment on Tuesday's blog that it was now Thursday.  The reference to "Hagrid Hair" comes from the following comment she left me once that had me rolling:

I ran 40 minutes after a dog. At work. In heels. Holding a greasy bag with food and a tin. With hair flying all over the place (it’s WINDY today). Unable, cause my hands were not just busy – they were greasy from holding the bag, to pull up my pants (that are a bit loose and keep threatening to expose my coin slot). And I still couldn’t get the darn dog –a little back dog that showed up at our parking lot two days ago- to eat. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I got it, it must have been mistreated and is now terrified of people, BUT it was me who got the funny looks when I was heading back to my building, like “who’s that crazy woman with the Hagrid hair showing off her butt”.

Juli was sharing her story with me because she knows what an animal lover I am and the visual I got from her comment had me chuckling the rest of the afternoon.  Juli and I have never met in person as she lives in Brazil.  We met over a message board several years ago and continue to chat online when we "bump" into each other.  She's a hoot and a hollar and I love her to death. 

The Brit comes home tonight, at least for two weeks, then it looks like he is back off for Atlanta for another week and then I'm hoping that is the end of it for awhile.  I can cope on my own, it just does ugly things to my patience at times.  The kids also tend to respect the Brit more and they try to get away with more with me, which sucks.  They'll pull a 'tude with me that they would never dream of pulling with him at times.  Anyway, I miss him and it will be nice to have him home again.

My eating is going pretty well.  I've been stuck on Cheerios for breakfast with a banana sliced up on top of it.  Lunch is generally turkey and a little cheese on crackers, though today I had sushi, which is a favorite of mine.  Paula and I went to lunch, which is always fun.  Dinner varies, especially this week when I have done minimal cooking as it has only been me and the kids.  Tonight, it is spaghetti and I have switched to whole grain pasta, which surprisingly, I love!  Either they have improved on it or it has grown on me.  Now I just need to kick start the exercise thing, but it has been pretty cold and tomorrow it is supposed to be way cold!  Yes, that is an excuse, but in my defense, I hate the cold.  Once I am inside, I have no desire to go back out, unless it is absolutely necessary.  I'll just have to work up to that one.

And for those of you who gave to Kelli's cause; THANK YOU!  Enough money was raised for EIGHTEEN MONTHS of Cobra payments!  Now, just keep her in your prayers that she soon gets a kidney! 

Aren't bloggers awesome?

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

It's only Tuesday???

Well, this has been some week so far!  Nothing too out of the ordinary other than the fact that I am a single parent this week (The Brit is in Atlanta on business), and every time I am a single parent, things go south very quickly.  Yesterday morning, schools were delayed by two hours, which tied up my entire morning as the kids now go to two different schools and are on two different time schedules.  So, I was late for work obviously.  The Prayer Shawl Group met at 12:30 and though I had been bright enough to grab my knitting basket, I didn't grab the prayer shawl itself I've been working on, so I spent that meeting time chatting.  Which isn't all bad considering as I love chatting.

Got home and Aaron arrived home, complaining of feeling like something was stuck in his throat.  As he came down with a sore throat over the weekend, it sounded like strept to me, so once JJ got home, we piled into the car to head to the doctors.  Strept test negative.  The rest of the night was uneventful until bedtime, when I couldn't sleep and any time I was almost there, my sleep was interrupted.  I learned something last night.  Ya know how men complain and carry on when they can't find something?  Well, the same holds true for male cats apparently when they cannot find one of their humans.  Jonah spent a good bit of the night hollaring for the Brit.  Due to all this, I slept through the 6:00 alarm, which is usually the Brit's alarm as he gets Aaron up for school.  So, I looked at the clock (I was awake anyway) and saw it was 6:12.  Got Aaron up and moving and out the door, then got JJ up and moving and out the door.  Got to work and stayed about 45 minutes later to help make up my time for the two hour delay yesterday, then raced off to a meeting a JJ's school.  Then home to meet Aaron and off  to THE Walmart for groceries.  Got home, unloaded the groceries, put them away and now it is nearly time to go and pick up JJ from school as he has Good News Club on Tuesdays. 

I'm ready for the weekend and it is only Tuesday.

In other news, things have improved regarding this post thankfully.  Though not completely comfortable yet, we are definately closer and now time is the only thing needed.  This comes as a great relief as for a couple of days there, I just didn't want to be anywhere near the situation. 

The best thing to come out of this day, and I am trying to act like a completely normal person about it, is that the infamous Laurie left me a blog comment!  She is my idol of bloggers and I only wish I could be as quirky and clever as she is, but I settle for just loving to read her posts as so often I can relate to things she is saying.  On the weight front, the eating is going fairly well; the exercise is still non-existent, but then this is a tough week for that to happen.  I am constantly reminding myself not to eat in the evenings when I am the most bored, but I did buy a special treat of some Puffin Corn for American Idol tonight (Yes, I am an AI junkie).

So, there you have it for today.  Wish me luck in surviving the rest of the week.  I do have to say that I have realized that things run more simply when the Brit is home.  Not only does he get Aaron up in the morning, but he helps field them in the evening and is a second ear for them to bend.  My ears are exhausted at the moment from being the only parent and the only one they are talking to, as heaven forbid, they talk to each other! 

Okay, I still have first grade homework to get through tonight as well as cutting out cars for JJ's teacher.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Weighty Matter

Today on Crazy Aunt Purl's blog, she talked about weight issues and hit it all right on the mark for me; she said so much of what I have been thinking...such as I simply cannot go on another diet and changing my eating habits for life is simply the only answer.  I'm reading books right now to learn how to do that as well as trying to deal with the reason I have always had a weight problem to begin with. 

I'm fairly sure I know where it all stems from: protection. 

Starting from when I was very young up until my late teens years I had unwanted attention from the opposite sex.  I was thin until about the age of 7, and after a childhood trauma, I started putting on some pounds.  I was the only child in my elementary school class who was always on a diet.  When I got to high school, I took off my weight by dieting yet again.  Every day for lunch I would eat a vanilla non-fat yogurt, a hard boiled egg and a small can of pear nectar.  Every night after dinner, I was down in my basement doing aerobics.  The weight came off and after graduation, I moved to New York.  While I was there I was nearly raped, due to the stupidity of my roomate.  Thankfully, the guy was scared off by a passing patrol car, but the damage was already done for me. 

Being thin meant having unwanted attention.  I remember a couple of years after the New York incident, I was safely back in my home town and went out to a country bar one night with a friend.  A man asked me to dance, and though I didn't want to, I think I was even more afraid of disappointing anyone.  The whole time I danced with him, I cried silent tears because I was so uncomfortable and so afraid.  When the dance was over, the guy obviously thought I was a freak, but I didn't care.  I had never asked for nor invited his attention.

As the years went by, I gained a few pounds a year and finally seemed to stay at one weight for awhile.  I was constantly dieting; yo-yo-ing again and again.   I met the Brit over the internet, so that seemed pretty safe to me, until he came over here.  I was incredibly nervous the day we met and though we hit it off immediately (obviously) I still had some issues to work through in the early days of our relationship.  

So, though I have gotten past some of the issues surrounding my weight problems, they obviously still remain.  I still don't desire unwanted attention from men and food is still what I comfort myself with when I am stressed or unhappy.  Well, let's be honest, I also eat to celebrate and when I'm bored too.  But I'm trying to work through it and to form a new relationship with food by finding healthy recipes.  Now that all the Christmas goodies are out of the house, it is getting easier thankfully, but I still have a long way to go.

I would just very much like to live the second part of my life healthier than I lived the first half.  There are things I want to do one day before I die and I need to be healthy to do them (notice, I am no longer saying "I need to be thin".  It's all about "healthy" now).  

I'll keep ya'll posted as to how it is all turning out. 

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


So, as of 9:00 this morning, $5700 has been raised for Kelli!  Kudos to the blog world!  I love people who blog (either readers or writers). 

Today was a little bitter sweet as I got a visit from an old friend.  Pastor Phil stopped by the church today on his way to a funeral and it was so good to see him.  It was like finding a long lost friend again, even though it has only been a couple of weeks since he left us.  For the record, things have been going better at the church and for that I am eternally grateful.  I hope it continues along those lines. 

The thing is that Pastor Phil raised the bar for me where pastors are concerned.  I have had several different pastors in my lifetime, considering the number of times we moved when I was growing up, but it wasn't until this very special interim pastor entered into the life of my church, that I realized exactly what a pastor was supposed to be.  Now, I totally understand that this man has been doing it for forty-two years, so he is probably very well versed in the emotions, personalities and attitudes of people and congregations.  It shows as he handles all of it incredibly well.  There was always something about him that made me feel very at ease.  I could talk to him about personal problems, about God, about anything and was never made to feel like any question was stupid.  He also just came to us at a time where we needed him (no coincidence there...God knew we needed him too!) and he endeared himself to us.  I miss him, much in the same way one would miss a friend who has moved away.

I hope very much that our new pastor is one day as natural at pastoring as pastor Phil was, but it will simply take time.  In the meantime, I think the soul of my church was very much touched by a certain interim pastor, and because of that, we will never really be the same again.

And that's a good thing.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

The Power of Bloggers and Blog Readers

One thing I have learned since starting a blog, and especially since doing NABloPoMo, is that there is power in bloggers.  The blogging universe is home to its own very special kind of people, who often are willing to go above and beyond to help others that they have never met but who are simply bloggers.  We've seen it with knitting blogs; funds being raised to help those less fortunate.  Never underestimate a knitter!  We are all too willing to help.  But I also think one should never underestimate bloggers, or even those who read blogs.

I have now aquired a great many blogs that I try to touch base with a couple of times a week.  It is often through these blogs, that I find other blogs and behind those blogs sit interesting, humorous individuals and I am both thrilled and overwhelmed each time I find one more blog I love.  Let's face it, too many more blogs for me to read and I'm going to have to give up some sleep to keep up with them!

It was through blog linking, that I found out about Kelli.  This young woman is in need of a kidney transplant.  Kelli is happily married with two teenagers and is on daily dialysis and is working her way through the process of being placed on a transplant list.  She has passed all the test that required many vials of blood and her case is being presented sometime this month.  The problem lies in the fact that her insurance is running out at the end of this month.  Due to her condition, she has been unable to work and another blogger has taken it upon herself to set up a way to give some funds towards Kelli's February Cobra payment.  The payments are done through Amazon and PayPal and are set up to accept as little as $1.50.  But can you imagine if 100 or even 1000 blog readers only gave $1.50?  It would be one less thing for Kelli to worry about.   I actually just went to the link to check on Kelli's total as I believe this just opened today.  Thus far $3300.00 has been given to Kelli's cause.  I read that and now have tears in my eyes.

You can go to this link to donate.  Please consider giving a few dollars to help out this family.   It's amazing how much difference just a few dollars can make in someone's life.

Sunday, January 14, 2007

So, here's the deal

Obviously, I have been involved in some turmoil this past week and I've debated whether or not to post anything at all about it.  The reason I wasn't posting about it was because I was afraid that the person who has had me upset might read it, but then I realized how hypocritical that was of me.  I have stated here more than once that this is my diary, but I go that one step further with allowing anyone who stumbled across this site to read it.  So, if you think you may have upset me lately, you may not want to read any further.

I have never, ever been good at confrontation, but I have always been able to put my feelings into words rather well.  I don't like having a face to face conversation with someone I'm upset with, about being upset with them.  To avoid the confrontation, I will simply brush off what they did or say stupid things like "It's all right." or "I understand."  So, needless to say, I do not plan on confronting this person anytime soon unless this person does something to make me angry and I lose my temper.

Titles sometimes have to earned by more than a degree.  An example of that would be that though my kids have a person who gave birth to them, this person by no means was their "mother".  That is a title that had to be earned and due to personal problems and bad decisions, bio-mom dropped the ball on that one.  The same could be said of doctors or pastors.  A degree does not make you either one of those things, it simply states that you are supposedly qualified to do it.  However, if you don't act like what it is you are supposesd to be, it is difficult if not impossible for people to see you as your title.

In the past week, a person of "title" has not really acted to me, in accordance with how they should act.  I've been treated rudely, such as being cut off in mid-sentence  while this person says, "This conversation is obviously over because I'm walking away."  This person has assumed that my time means nothing.  This person has insinuated that I may need to look for another job.  Though I think he was kidding, in the words of my seventy-something year old knitting friend, Micki, "That's not funny."  There have also been numerous other things that have added up over the last week.  This person doesn't like to reply to the phrase "Good morning" as the two times I have offered it, it has been met with a question about something or other.

I'm trying to chalk it up to nerves or to trying to fit into a position and finding footing, but what strikes me as rudeness or arrogance I can't excuse.  People are supposed to treat each other with kindness, respect and dignity and I have very few if any excuses for anything other than that.  I can honestly say that I, too, have been nervous and on edge as well with this new situation, but now everytime I am going to journey into this situation again, I am filled with a sense of dread and a need to get it over with as quickly as possible.

I'm praying for things to turn around.  There is nothing I'd like more than to think of this person as what the degree states.  But still, it has to be earned.

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Just Ramblings

So, remember that thing I said about not blogging when my emotions were kind of crazy and trying to be clear-headed when writing?  Yeah.  Well, that's what I'm doing, which is the reason for a lack of entries from me this week.  I'm just sitting back and taking it all in and trying to figure out how things are going to turn out.  Right now, I feel like I'm on a roller coaster that I never requested to ride, especially since roller coasters kind of make me queasy.  There have been a few "blasts" from a past I don't really care to remember that have left me feeling rather defensive, but yet, I'm not at all sure of what it means just yet.  I've never liked feeling invisible and had thought I'd left that in the past.  I'm still hoping that maybe I have.

No matter where God puts me in this life, I know it is where I'm meant to be.  But still with that being said there are places that he puts me, that I'm not really sure of what the reasoning is, so I just have to wait it out until it all becomes clear...and he has always made it clear.  I know he will this time as well.  When I put my trust in God, I know that it has to be for the times when things don't feel "right" as well as for the times when I am perfectly content with where he has placed me.  But despite how I feel, I also know that it has nothing to do with me, anymore than it has anything to do with any of us.  It doesn't matter what our successes nor our failures are, it doesn't matter how good we feel about ourselves or what inadequacies someone may or may not heap upon us, what matters is what God's will is in all of it.  It's not about us.  Ever.  And I don't think God cares about any of our successes or failures, but I think he cares more about how we relate to each other and how much humility and compassion we extend to our brothers and sisters.  What matters is how we treat each other and do we exude the kind of love that Jesus showed to all he touched. 

I think it is very easy for us to get caught up in our own agendas and to focus on our prize as opposed to THE prize; the promise that God gave to us. 

Lord, help me to be more like you, though I will always fall far short.  Don't let me forget how much more people matter than pride or personal gain.  You died for people, showing us no greater love.  Help us all to continue to reach out to each other in that love you first showed us.  Amen.

Friday, January 5, 2007

So far, so good

I don't have a whole lot to go on about today, other than the fact that this week I LOST THREE POUNDS!  Very exciting for me as it has only been four days, but then again, I've worked myself to death this week with the right eating and the three Curves workouts. (I do not recommend going three days in a row as I did, however, because it tends to make one owie.). 

I spent some time tonight on searching for recipes and found a few that intrigued me, after I actually watched Food Network this afternoon!  How shocking is that?  I generally hate cooking shows, but the Barefoot Contessa was making some yummy looking herbal tea and chicken chili that just looked incredible, while Sandra Lee was whipping up Teriyaki salmon strips, vegetables with broccoli lemon sauce, and an angel food cake with mixed berries.  I also caught the tail end of Gaida De Laurentiis and her mushroom parmesan...OMG...they looked so good.  What makes it even better is that all the recipes are pretty easy with simple ingredients.  Brit, fetch me a chef's knife, and remodel the kitchen, QUICK!

Strat and Juli were both right in that the little guy on yesterday's blog was Noah, the boy's little brother we fostered for three weeks as a newborn.  It was bittersweet to see him again and spend a little time with him, but all in all, I'm glad with how things worked out.  The boy's bio-mom is doing well with the two kids she has, and with both of mine now in school, it allows me more time to do some things I've wanted to do.  But, it was an absolute joy to see him.

Today, I leave you with a picture of the Christmas scarf I knitted for our interim pastor, just to prove that knitting really does happen here (and at times it even looks good, unlike Roadkill).  This was a bulky and divinely soft alpaca yarn that I bought at Stitches East.  I'll have to get more this year because the softness of it....there are no words.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Progress Report

So, thus far this week, I have been to Curves twice, yesterday and today, have cooked healthy meals for dinner and have eaten healthy during the day as well, and have not yet consumed enough water to brag about, but more than I was drinking on December 31st.

I've been experimenting with some new main courses, because let's be realistic...I plan on losing these pounds this time, so I need to keep things interesting so I stay faithful.  I've made turkey meatloaf, honey salmon and tonight, chicken honey dijon.  My issue is finding side dishes, primarily veggie side dishes that are interesting and flavorful.  Though I am trying to expand my culinary skills, let's be honest.  My idea of a veggie side dish is to hit the frozen food section of "the Walmart", dump bag 'o veggies in a pot and cover with water.  Not being a big salt fan, you're lucky if you even get that. 

So, I'm calling on you, internet people, to comment and leave one good veggie side dish recipe.  In fact, I double dog dare ya to do it.  The only criteria is that it is healthy and relatively easy.  So there ya go.  I'm looking forward to hearing from everyone.

For today's picture, can anyone guess who this little guy is, who I got a visit from the Saturday before Christmas?

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

Censorship and feel free to laugh

One of the things that has to be accepted in being an on-line journaler, is that many of my friends and family visit this blog.  I knew that would happen going in, so I had to come to the decision that I would not be censoring my blog.  There is really little point to a journal if you can't write about things that have made an impact on your day or your life, for fear of offending someone. 

If ya'll remember this, you'll recall that I got my feelings hurt a few times that weekend, but took it all in stride.  Oddly enough (or not) on Thanksgiving, my mother hugged me and told me that she had finally realized she had said something to hurt my feelings and she was sorry.  I immediately asked her who had told her and she said no one, but then a few weeks later, she made mention of one of my sisters reading my blog.  I told her that I didn't have any problem with that and then mom replied, "Well, just don't write anything about me in there." 

Well, I can't do that.  I'm not a mean-spirited person by any means, and I do try to be honest in writing.  After all, the person I am being most honest with is myself as this blog is about life as I see it.    These are my experiences and my thoughts and though someone else could very well see something differently than I did, that is what the comments are for.  Basically, I just want to reiterate that censorship on my blog is not an option for me.  I don't think anyone would find a post where I blew off steam and was completely unreasonable.  I try to approach writing with a clear mind and a thought process of what it is I want to say, and I generally cannot do that fairly when seething with some kind of emotion. 

Okay, with that being said, I assume everyone remembers this:

The adorable knitted kitty that I was making for Paula for Christmas.  I am happy to report that he was completed.  I am sadly admitting that he looks nothing like that picture:

Uh, yeah.  The Brit appropriately named this critter "RoadKill".  Shelley, who loves a blog mention, helped me put this puss together and the stress and tension in the room was palpable.  She kept insisting he didn't look like a cat and I kept insisting that once he had ears, or a nose, or a face, all would be well.  Those things would just somehow magically transform a knitted kitty into something to be proud of.  Needless to say, my theory was blown. 

There are several problems that I know of with RoadKill. 
1. Wrong yarn.  Though the yarn shop I drove to stated on their website that they had the yarn the pattern called for, once I got there, they did not.  So, the sales lady and I found something we thought would substitute, but no amount of brushing this cat would make it fluffy with the yarn we  chose.
2. Wrong eyes.  All the craft stores only sold "Animal eyes" as opposed to "cat eyes". 
3. User problems.  There are definitely knitted mistakes in this little fellow, with color, etc.

I'm thinking I'm going to give myself ten years and then knit it again.  I'll get the right yarn and right eyes from the internet and we'll have another go.  Though Shelley informed me, "You can never knit this again...or if you do, do not bring it here."  Okay, so I'll be flying solo, but it will be ten years from now and perhaps I will be more accomplished.

Okay, off to Curves!