Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Hooray for Unevenful Tuesday!

All was quiet in the Lutheran Study room today.  They are either crushed by the loss of the Evil VP on council or plotting their next move.  Either way none of them stopped in to say hi.

I am just so glad that the VP lost the election without our help.  We would have been within our right to go in there are vote.  We are members.  But it only would have made people angry, at least those six people.  But she lost without us and maybe that sent her a message.  See, she used to be a nice person.  But after she quit/got fired from her job, she got so involved and started trying to run everything and with that comes stepping on some toes.  Plus her behavior with me, which people know about, has not been good PR for her.  The VP of the church council should not be bad mouthing anyone in the church.

Anyway, I'm getting over it.  Find me another job and I will get totally over it.

So, December 21st from 6-8 we are having a major kickboxing session, open to ANYONE for the cost of a hat, pair of gloves or socks.  Seriously.  The Y is starting to do these sessions to raise items for different charities.  They did the first one last week with a two hour Zumba and approx 300 people were there.  Our goal is to beat that numberm so I am asking any of you within my area to mark the 21st on your calendars.  It's a great cause and a fun workout and if I can do it (and I am a little worried about a two hour session myself as you can mop the floor with me after an hour of Michael!) anyone can do it!

Tomorrow is hump day.  Cannot wait till Saturday and "Blast off" as JJ always called it!  California bound baby!

Monday, November 29, 2010

For Four Days, the Chair is Mine

So The Brit is off again, which means I own the chair till Friday. It's a payoff for single parenting for four days.

Not much to say tonight and it's late.  Tomorrow is the dreaded Tuesday.  My trainer rescheduled my appointment today to Wednesday, "Burlesque" was excellent and Tod helped me take the defective tree back.  Probably not staying the night at EMU Friday for Brent's show due to a sudden change of venue.  Still going to see his show but probably coming home that night. 

I am PMSing something fierce but I hope it arrives this week instead of next.  Still unsure of what I am going to do the Monday in San Fran, but I am thinking Fisherman's Wharf and some walking sightseeing.  The hills will be good exercise for me.

Okay, I will do better tomorrow night!

Sunday, November 28, 2010

A Sunday Offering

Okay, as I haven't blogged in days, you get a special Sunday edition with updates..aka, bullet point updates.

  • Wound up with a full blown cold from hell.  Have not been sick in two years but I am attributing this one to the church stress.  Snot and much coughing.  It has been big fun.
  • I still ran the Turkey Trot with the cold and beat my Project 320 time by almost 4 minutes, which rocks.  Tod came in at under thirty minutes for his first 5K and won the damn runner's basket...but I am getting over that....slowly.  Anyway, 800+ people ran this thing.  It was cold and had been raining but thankfully the rain held off for the run.  I'm thinking I could do really well if I actually trained for the next one and I will take running in the cold over running in the humidity any day.
  • My twenty year old youth kid beat out the Evil VP for council today.  I am over the moon and I am sure she is one twisted sister.
  • Due to her losing, I am really dreading the Bible study Tuesday.
  • Tomorrow, I am meeting with Sonia for training and then meeting with Tod to go see "Burlesque".  Very excited.
  • The Brit is leaving for Atlanta tomorrow night and I will not see him till either Friday night or Saturday when we leave for CALIFORNIA!
  • The Lawyer turned 11 yesterday and we took him and his little friend from school out for hibatchi.  Robyn, Emily and Tod went along too and a good time was had by all.
  • Thursday, I am cheating on my hair girl officially.  I have an appointment with the new girl and we'll see how it goes.
  • We finally got an artificial tree, pre-lit and everything.  I am very happy.  No more needles or forgetting to water the thing.
  • I have started making lists for the week.  Grocery list, To Do list and Packing list.  Nothing like travel in the busiest season of the year, but given how much I dislike what Christmas has become, I can't wait to go away for a week.
  • There is a potential job at an elementary school I  have applied for and I have three people in the education system putting in a good word for me.  Say prayers or think happy thoughts.
  • Dear Lord, get me through this week.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

Busy day today...insane morning tomorrow with a 5K I am not ready for.  I do have a cold but TheraFlu is keeping it under control for the most part and I don't feel too badly.  We'll see how it goes tomorrow.

Tod and I went to the Health and Fitness Expo at that college today to pick up our race packets.  The expo was a little lame, but I did find a new hair stylist to try.  I love my current stylist but she had some problems taming my hair which is very thick, and though I keep telling her to not worry about how short she goes, two weeks after a cut I am hacking at odd pieces with scissors.  So there was this newer hair place that was at the expo and she tamed my sticky uppy piece of hair in the back, so I am going to make an appt and give her a shot.  She was telling me how she would do my hair a little differently.  I feel like I am cheating on my girl though!

Okay, so in honor of Thanksgiving, here is what I am most thankful for.

1. My God, who is forever faithful to me and only judges with love and mercy and not condemnation.

2. My family.  Even when they are annoying, I still love them.  I am especially thankful for my sister in law, Margaret, who has guided me through these last few weeks with prayer and scripture.

3. My friends; the amazing ones.  The ones who are not fair weathered but the real deal.  You have been available to talk, to help move my blog, whatever was needed.  I appreciate you more than you know.

4. My health.  Though my diet has not been up to my normal standards the last few weeks with my stress eating, I am still doing a 5K tomorrow.  Who would have thought?

5. I am also thankful for St. John 's Lutheran Church for restoring my faith that worship truly can be a place to learn and grow and that there really are pastors still out there that know how to pastor their flock.  We are still in the early stages with this church, but so far it feels like it could be home.

For my readers, have a wonderful and safe Thanksgiving tomorrow.  And for any of you going out on Black Friday...well, I have no sympathy.  You are obviously insane!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Thera-Flu and Orange Juice

I either am coming down with a cold or have one helluva sinus thing going on.  I have not been sick in two years and now with a Turkey Trot just two days away, here I am feeling kind of lousy.  Hopefully by morning, it will be better.

I survived another Tuesday Bible study day.  Really, it is no big deal; they just ignore me.
People who used to come back and say hi, no longer bother.  The sting is lesser, but still present at times but life does go on.

I did go to kickboxing tonight but given the fact that I wasn't feeling great, it was a rough hour, but again, I survived it.

So, do I attempt another run tomorrow, the day before the Turkey Trot?  Or do I take the day off?

Monday, November 22, 2010

Gotta Love a Short Week

So Saturday, we had a pre-Thanksgiving dinner at our friend's cabin with them, an older couple we love, and the music director and most of her family.  I told you that her husband lost his job a week ago so a week ago Sunday at church, he tells Pastor Extraordinaire (PE) that he needs to speak with him.  He waits while PE chats with someone for about ten minutes, then pulls this man into the office.  Husband tells him he lost his job last week.  PE says "That's too bad.  The economy is tough."

That was the end of his pastoral counselling.  No words of reassurance that God had a plan.  No "Can I pray with you?"  Basically, too bad, so sad.  PE told me three weeks ago after The Brit quit council that he was going to call him.  Still waiting on that call.

Yesterday at our former church, PE's wife prayed for us.  Then the Evil VP prayed for "the Blind." I assume that is also us.

Now, this past Sunday, we walked into the new church we have been attending and the pastor greeted The Brit, my mother and I ALL BY NAME.  He took the time to learn our names.  At the end of the service, he spoke to me again and I asked him if he would be available to talk and he told me to call him after lunch around 1:30 Monday.  I had originally wanted to talk to him a little about what happened at our former church, but then my mother called me and didn't think it was a good idea.  I am still conflicted about that. Anyway, I got home today and a friend brought me over a bunch of clothes for the boys that her boys had outgrown and I got busy going through closets, getting rid of stuff they didn't wear, putting away new stuff and loading up my car with stuff for Goodwill.  About 3:00 as I was getting ready to leave, my phone rings.  It's the pastor from the new church, following up with me because he had not heard from me.

Do ya'll see the major difference here?  This is a man who gives a damn about people.  I did not go into any detail about what happened.  Basically just told him we had been very hurt by our former church and then I asked him questions about the youth group, praise and and Bible studies that the church offered.  They offer a lot, especially compared to what I just came from.  They do a lot in the community, which I love. They are holding a Thanksgiving meal on Thanksgiving day for the needy of the neighborhood.  They are collecting mittens, scarves and hats for kids.  They are active and present in the community, doing things that matter. 

The same council meeting 14 months ago, when I spoke of my concerns about PE, I also spoke to them about a list I had written of things we could do within our community.  No one did anything.  No one even expressed interest. 

The last five weeks have been really hard for me.  When my church of 30+ years attacked me for not being spiritually fulfilled, it left me reeling.  I cried.  I got angry.  I was depressed.  I suffered insomnia.  But over the last three weeks with being in this new church, my faith in my faith has been restored.  My faith in Lutheran pastors is starting to be restored.  I have found out who my true friends are and I have discovered those who are only my friends when it is convenient for them.  I have shaken my head at the absurdity that people found me to be some kind of threat to their church because I was not smitten with the pastor and have been crushed by the way some Christians have chosen and are still choosing to conduct themselves.  None of us are perfect and we all have our issues, but any house of God should be safe for all who enter. I have seen true apathy and true caring.  These have been tough lessons to learn but so worth the journey.  My spirit no longer feels restless where my spiritual growth is concerned.  I know in my heart that restlessness came from the Holy Spirit, because I was happy in the praise band and happy in the youth group and then it suddenly over the last year and a half was no longer enough.  But still I dug in my heels and refused to move.  But God moved me.  He knew there was a better place where I could grow and maybe we have found it or maybe we haven't but I will say it is a far cry closer than where we came from. 

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Okay, Okay

It's no secret that I have been a little grouchy lately.  I know not every plan works for everyone and I also know that Jim loves to disagree with me (You know it's true!) so that was sort of all that I was saying.  I also get frustrated and I'm sure everyone else does as well, with the assaults of information we are given.  This is good for you.  No, now it is bad for you.  Do this.  Don't do that!  You know what I'm sayin'.  It's a wonder we can all get through our day with all the "new" information coming out about what we eat!  So I have friends who swear by South Beach and then have someone else saying it's not good for you, and at times it just makes me nuts.  Why can't there be one plan that just WORKS?  I know, because we are not a one size fits all society (tho my former church thinks we should be) but there are just times it gets to me and gets frustrating.  What to try?  What to do?  What will work?  It is all so trial and error.

Anyway, I did run today!  And it was not as bad as I thought it would be.  I combined walking and running as I did not want to overly push myself after a two month absence from running.  It felt good to get out there and do it, so now I just have to keep doing it between now and the Turkey Trot.  If nothing else, I want my t-shirt!

Tomorrow is Friday and we are having a pre-Thanksgiving get together at a friend's cabin.  Then next week is a three day work week.  The following week is my final week before a week's vacay in California and I cannot wait!

Have not yet logged my food today...sushi was involved so I am a little scared!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tracking and Trainers

So I set up an appointment to meet with Sonia on Monday to switch up my workout routine.  The second bit of scary news is that I am going to attempt to do some running tomorrow...the thought of it makes me laugh, but only because it has been WEEKS since I have and I have a Turkey Trot to do a week from tomorrow.  Yeah, I am geared up and ready!  NOT! 

I had a long chat with Ashlee today at the Y about food and though I fought it tooth and nail, I am back on Spark People tracking my calories as of today.  Doing some research, this is how we should roll, and Jimnotmike, just be quiet.

The recommended benchmarks for a healthy balanced diet are to get 25-30% of your daily calories from fats, 15-25% protein and 50-65% complex carbohydrate. 

After tracking my calories for today, I would up with these percentages:

Fats 35.3 (that stupid cappachino from Sheetz put me over but I love vanilla chai anything.  Without that, I would have been right on target.)

Carbs 39%  Lower than the recommended...go me.

Protein: 25.7  Again, more or less on target.

Now, I did not snack as much today, maybe because I knew I was going to track my food.  My total calories for the day were 1853. 

Now I struggle with how many calories I should be eating.  Using a calories calculator and putting myself in the "very active" catagory (am I VERY active?) to maintain my weight I need 2872 calories per day.  If I am really moderately active, I need 2534 to maintain, so either way I am creating a calories deficit.

Ashlee and I also talked about South Beach and though I KNOW PEOPLE HERE WILL DISAGREE, she said that the low carb thing was not good for you, especially in the long run.  Your body needs carbs.  Now granted, I never got into the later phases of SB so maybe the maintainers are getting the recommended number of carbs our bodies need. I know that I need carbs in order to keep up my relatively intense workout regiment.  When I was low carbing, I was struggling with no fuel, so I know it was not working for me.  I lost about nine pounds, but really had a rough time with my workouts in the two weeks.  I like my physical activity and I know that carbs fuel it.

So I'll let you know how the walk/run goes tomorrow.  We'll have a good laugh.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

So Nothing Much Apparently Happened

Apparently, though it was discussed at the meeting how poorly the situation was handled, The Pupper Master never uttered a word.  What a crock of crap.  Of course, no one was going to apologize and two couples are still not speaking to me unless they absolutely have to, but whatever.  The two who quit council are now back on, which in a way is good.  The past few years we have only had enough people running for council as we had positions to fill.  Now, we only need three positions and we have five people running, so there is a chance the evil VP could be voted off as her term is up and she has to re-run to get back on council.  I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Now The Brit has ideas about going in long enough to vote on Sunday, but I have ZERO desire to do so.  I am never planning to attend there again, so though I would like to see the VP voted out, I am not going to stack the vote as someone who never plans to worship there again.  Plus, I have no desire to add any stress to the fact that I already have to be there five days a week with people who would rather I was not there.  I can handle it, but it does not make for optimal working conditions.  I would prefer to believe that God has it all in His hands and it will work out to His glory.  He certainly doesn't need my help.

Kickboxing tonight was big fun...all my normal friends were there so that made it even better than it normally is. Ray and Michael were particularly amusing and the three of us kept making each other laugh.  I needed it after spending an hour and a half in The Lawyer's room cleaning.  I swear in twenty years, the kid is going to be on Hoarders.  He keeps everything and buys the dumbest stuff!  He goes to a yard sale in the neighborhood with two dollars and comes home with a freakin' coffee maker for his room!  Not that we allow him to drink coffee because we don't and I generally only buy the Folgers Singles anyway and you don't need a coffee maker for that.  Plus he has no idea what a hamper or a trash can is, though he possesses both.  In an hour and half we filled three trash bags of garbage and a huge box with crap for Goodwill....and there is still more to do.

I have to say that I really, really like this new Lutheran church we have been attending.  So far, very good, but it has only been two weeks.  I just like what I see and hear so far and they do real sermons and the pastor is engaged with the people, which for me is another novelty.  I'm hoping it continues along these lines!

Monday, November 15, 2010

No news yet

So the council is meeting again tonight so we'll see what happens.  I am very calm...I'd like to think I have gone beyond caring about this situation.  I want to see this church succeed even if I am not a part of it, but that will be up to them.  They have got to stop doing this kind of stuff (this is not the first time since the split five years ago that a few people have ticked off a family and they left).  Church should be a safe haven for everyone, regardless of where they are in their life journey and when it stops being that, it changes the way you feel about that particular house of God. 

My sore throat is back again today which bites.  I went to the doctor with it a few weeks ago and though she could see the redness in my throat the strept test came back negative.  So now it is back.  Tod thought last time it was stress related, or it could be allergy related.  Either way, it is annoying.

But I did go to the gym today and did my whole workout.  It doesn't take as long anymore as I have it down, but after not doing it at all last week, today was rough, but I survived it.

We are having a New Year's Eve gathering if anyone is interested that I haven't spoken to.  We are forgoing our usual Christmas Open House because of Christmas being on a Saturday, that would mean we would have to do a Sunday plus I am just not in the mood to do it.  I forced it last year but it is a lot of hassle and you never know when people are coming, etc.  So at Tod's suggestion, we are taking NYE.  We are thinking maybe a dinner where we are picking three ingredients and each attendee has to pick at least one ingredient and incorporate it into their dinner offering with a potential prize for the dish that gets the most votes.  Then we will have a game and of course, drinking, theme.  I am already excited about it!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Fabulous Friday

So much relief comes with Friday.  Two days of not having to stress.

The music director's husband lost his job today.  We ran into them at lunch today and they told us.  I feel terrible but yet the conversation felt strained and I don't know if it was because she was stressing or because she is annoyed with me.  I have already decided that I am not going to go out of my way to keep this friendship going.  I will be who I have always been, but if I don't hear from her, I will survive.  This church thing has brought a whole slew of losses so what the hell is one more.  The thing is that if it is a loss with her friendship, it will be her choice, not mine.  If it happens and she can live with it, so can I.

Shiloh told me tonight in a FB message not to let the church steal my joy.  I am guilty of allowing it to do that.  I get so wrapped up in stress and as I am a girl who hates contention and confrontation, when I am assaulted with it, it takes every tiny bit of energy I have to cope with it.  I hate conflict and have been surrounded by it all because of one asshat with nothing better to do.  But I am giving them and the conflict too much power. 

My eating has been for crap the last three weeks.  I have been afraid to get on the scale, though all my clothing still fits.  I stress eat like nobodies business and I need to get that back under control.  I only hit the gym one day this week, and that was for kickboxing.  I did walk two or three days this week and raked a bajillion bags of leaves, but I have been isolating myself in the afternoons which is why I have not been to the gym.  I did not crave being around people.  That is also not like me.  I enjoy people but this situation has had me feeling so overwhelmed that I don't even feel like I can act like everything is fine around other people. 

There are plusses that have come out of this so far.

1. I have found a potential new church where they do for real sermons.
2. I have had my eyes opened about some people and though it is painful, it is better to know than to remain in the dark about what can lurk just beneath the surface of people's psyches. 
3. I have truly discovered who my true friends are, both inside and outside of the church.

Life is full of lessons, even the ones we would rather not have to learn.  But God knows what we need to know and I know He has been pushing to leave this church for some time.  He knew how spiritually bankrupt I had been feeling and He was the one causing me to recognize that fact.  The discontentment in my spirit came from Him, but I fought against it for more than a year because it would be too painful to leave the praise band and the kids.  And though leaving those two things has been painful, I have survived it.  There will be moments of sadness over this in the future; I know that grief is a process, but at the end of the tunnel there is light.  I can already see it even if it is in the distance.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Almost There

Another Friday at long last is on the horizon.  Thanks for the comments.  Not sure what was up with them but they seem to be coming through now.  Jimnotmike, sorry about the lack of being able to type your given-by-me name, but the peace of mind I have here now is so worth it.  The other blog is now completely gone and it makes me moderately happy at the thought that some people were probably annoyed by that.

The Brit is home for a week hopefully, though he may have to go to Chicago next week.  Ugh.  I know the travelling needs to be done right now and it is generally fine and it would be more than fine if this church crap would just completely blow over.  There is another council meeting Monday night and I think some crap is going to go down on my behalf.  Out of all the people who know what happened, I have some big guns on my side.  I hate thinking of it as "sides" though.  The people on the "other side" only had half a story that the Busman gave to them after adding his own special twist to it, and then they were too upset to hear the real story.  I think I am changing the Bus Man's name to The Puppet Master because that is how he operates.  He pulls strings and gets other people to do his dirty work, while he just sits back and watches it all unfold.  The Puppet Master does not think like ordinary people.  Rumor has it he was asked to resign from his last job (he is in the retirement age catagory now) and he was just asked to leave another organization, so there are lots of issues.  I am just his latest victim.  I know in the big scheme of things, this is not that big a deal but yet in some ways it is.

The other troublesome thing for me is that someone I considered one of my closest friends, the music director, has not called me and I have not spoken to her since we sang at that dinner almost two weeks ago.  This could be due to a few possibilities:

1. She is not one to pursue friendships.  It is nothing for her to just not bother calling people which is why she has very few friends.
2. Beings she is not very internet savey, she may feel that this whole thing is my fault because I blogged.
3. being another employee of the church she may be worried they will come after her next so she does not want to be seen with "the enemy."
4. She blames me because she is concerned the church could fold and with that would go her job.  The church is struggling anyway and now we have left and my mother has left...and there could be more unless this thing gets turned around.

So, this whole thing has been one giant hurt on top of another.

I am reading this book called "When God's People Let You Down" and the way I feel is best described by this paragraph so far:

"No sane army commander looks out across a battlefield, sees his men shot and dying in dirt and blood but says to the medics, "Forget these guys.  There's more where they came from." Too many Christians feel like good soldiers wounded in action-and the leaders and fellow soldiers who were supposed to notice and help  have ignored them.  What an added insult!  You find yourself blamed for getting hurt in the first place."

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Are People Actually here?

Lack of comments makes me wonder if we are working here.

Today was a bad one.  This has all been like a giant roller coaster, some days are great, others horrible with no special reason why the bad ones are bad.  I had trouble sleeping again last night, thinking about giving up my Tuesday nights and how impossible it would be as I had just given up two impossible things and thinking about those things got me all emotional today again over the loss of the  youth group and praise band.  I know I will survive these things as sure as I know I will not be returning to them, but now, it is still difficult.  I know I am a survivor; I have been my entire life, but right now, I am still in a valley.  I keep thinking of the line to that Christian song which I'm sure is also a Bible verse: Strength will come as we wait upon the Lord.  I'm waiting.  I know there is a plan and it will be perfect. 

I could not bring myself to go to the gym today as I was in too bad a funk, so I came home and raked 11 bags of leaves from the backyard.  Believe it or not, it really helped my frame of mind.  It was a visible accomplishment and I was in the mood at the time to be alone.  Then tonight, I walked a few miles with Tod, which allowed me to blow off some steam to him.  The Brit has been away a lot the last two weeks and I am kind of over it right now, but having Tod around does help.

I came to the realization that I have a 5K to run Thanksgiving morning and I have not run in weeks.  Should be interesting!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


Okay, it's not like they have made me an offer or anything yet but I have a really good feeling after today's interview.  It is part time, two days a week, Tuesday and Wednesdays from 9:30-6:00, with the possibility of adding Thursday eventually.  It pays better than I am making now and technically, if I wanted to, I could continue working at the church with less hours and work both places.  This office services people with limited incomes, they do work with the homeless shelter, all kinds of stuff that totally matters to me.

The problem?  I don't know if I can bear to give up my kickboxing class. How insane is that?  I was thinking about it on the way home from class tonight and  I was hit with the realization that I just didn't know if I could give it up.  It's so much more than my GBC too.  Kickboxing has helped transform who I am.  It makes me feel stronger than I ever thought I could feel.  It's my one workout a week that is in a group and I love that part of it too.  It has just made me feel so confident in so many other aspects of my life.

Maybe it is also because I have had to give up too many other things lately that I love.  I had to give up my youth kids and the praise band and my church and I am still dealing with these hurts.  I'm not sure giving up anything else right now that I love is an option.  Sure, I could do it if I had to, but I am not at the point that I have to.

So do I wait to see if they offer me the job and then ask if there is any way around this?  Have I lost my mind?   

Monday, November 8, 2010

I Don't Like Mondays

With not attending my former church on Sunday, it makes Mondays a bit of a concern for me.  The current situation leaves me never knowing what might have been said over the course of the weekend.  So this morning, the wife of one of the council members who is on my team, came in to speak with the pastor about the freak who threw me under the bus.  Their discussion lasted almost two hours and she told me after the fact she had told the pastor that if someone didn't stop this man from causing her friends to leave the church she might kill him.  Yes, our Christian attitude remains.  Then her husband and two of my self titled "Wise men" of the church got together to brain storm.  They don't want The One Who Threw Me Under the Bus (now known as BusMan) to become council president in the new year, which means one of them has to agree to do it and the rest of the majority will second it.  

Then the Twisted VP came in asking me questions including if I had an employee handbook she could see.  I explained to her that the parish admin had it and that really annoyed her. So, is she still trying to come up with a way to fire me?

One of my wise men called from the meeting and asked me if I was leaving them.  The convo went something like this:

Me: Leaving the church or leaving as your secretary?

Him: As our secretary.

Me: I don't know but I won't lie to you and tell you I'm not looking.

Him: I can understand that.  I would like to ask you to give us a little time to try to fix this.  It never should have happened.  I am sick about it.  I am sick that I was away for these meetings.  My wife is sick about  it.

Me:  You and I both know the economy is crap, but I am keeping an eye on the paper.  That's all I can promise you right now.

He understood completely.  It's good to know that there are truly good people out there amongst some, who, though not bad, are maybe confused?  The Wise Man told me that one of the people who are angry with me said that I had said to them " I am not a Lutheran.  I am a Christian."  He asked me to confirm what I said.  What I said was "I am a Lutheran because I have always been a Lutheran, but before I am a Lutheran, I am a Christian, because I am a follower of Christ."

I don't get it.  Why do they twist my words?  I never said I was not a Lutheran or that I didn't care that I was a Lutheran.  Jesus was not a Lutheran.  Would that bother them?

Anyway, another interview tomorrow at another dental office and I have to take a dental terminology test first.  If I don't get enough right, I don't get the interview, so I need to get my butt of the blog and relearn how to study.

Friday, November 5, 2010


I still feel like I am trying to get back to normal.  There are still lingering hits on the old blog and I feel both satisfied and upset that I even had to close it because of two people who felt it was their....right?....responsibility?...to pass on my blog post to other people.  There is still tension at the church but most of the rumblings are from those disgruntled with what these other two people did.  See, the last time four people left our this congregation, it was because of these same two people essentially.  Some of it could have been blamed on my mother, but she was set up by the two crap stirrers.  But what do you do with these kinds of people?  It's not like you can fire them from the congregation, right?

Anyway, went to the gym again today and went through the agonizing workout that has left my thighs aching for the last three days (after doing it Wednesday too).  But I do feel so much stronger in so many aspects of my life after a really good workout.  Sorry, Jimnotmike, but low carbing doesn't do that for me...only exercise ;)  I've been wimping out on the elliptical and stupid rowing machine though and have opted to just run the sprints each time.  Of course I have a Turkey Trot coming up in a few weeks and have not done any running to speak of in weeks!  Yeah, that run will go well.

Okay, have a happy weekend.  I plan on chilling out and then hitting another church on Sunday.  Hope you all have something fun to do and maybe our paths will even cross.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

All Moved Over

So here we are!

Had a job interview today for a dental office. I was really excited about the interview but then once the interview was over, I think they were more excited about me than I was about them.

The main administrative office where they interviewed me was a mess. We are talking stacks and stacks of papers strewn everywhere, dirty dishes lying around on limited desktop space, just a disaster area. The two dentists are indian, which is fine. The hours are Monday through Friday, with two of those days being till seven in the evening, and then every other Saturday 9-2 and when you work the Saturday, you have off the Friday. But there are no benefits at all. Nada. No paid sick time, no paid holiday time, no paid vacation time, no health benefits. They are looking to pay about twelve bucks an hour with no added anything. I am all about laid back, but this place was too much so; there just didn't seem to be anything professional about it. So if they offer it to me, I am going to decline. It was just not a good fit and as much as I want to get as far as possible away from the church, it needs to be right.

The church is what it is right now. I fear for the place to fall apart, and not because I am leaving. But because the people who threw me under the bus are notorious trouble makers. They seem nice and sweet but they throw a mean punch when the mood hits them and I have to wonder if the retired of the world just don't remember how the real world works. They have far too much not just to read my blog, but to try to decide what cryptic messages I am trying to convey (and there were no cryptic messages...I was just trying to decide if it was time to leave my church...not take it over and make it non-denominational, which is what I have more or less been accused of. Insanity).

I am just making every effort to be pleasant to people while I am there but the problem is that the ones who are in during the week most often are most of the ones I am put out with. The VP does seem to be on speaking terms with me again, at least today. Tomorrow could be a different story but who cares? Tomorrow is Friday!

I am still working on sprucing up our new home here. Laura got the posts transferred over (don't tell her mama, as they are mad at me!) but we couldn't get all the comments for some reason. I left my final post on the godaddy account tonight and if you haven't seen it, it simply says:

This blog has been moved to a private domain, where only those who received the email with the information two weeks ago, are able to view it. Some folks were invited into my "virtual living room" and then decided they didn't like my feelings. Right or wrong, those feelings belong to me and no one has the right to judge them. This blog has always been my safe place to stay in contact with my family and friends; the people who truly care about me. I was wrong about some people, but we all live and learn, sadly. But life also goes on and my blog has been returned to me and those who love me.

If you believe you should have had an invitation, you will need to friend me on Facebook to request one. I gave the information to my friends who have always followed my blog and to those friends who left me comments.

So as I have always loved quoting songs, I leave you with a line from one of my favorites, from Wicked's "Defying Gravity".

"Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love, I guess I've lost
Well if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost"

The comments are not open for this post. It is simply a farewell and I will see most of you in our new home.

I guess some of those folks will just have to go back to checking books out of the library if they want something to read.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Welcome to Our New Home

So here is what is happening tomorrow:

My friend and Blogger wiz, Laura, is coming over here late in the afternoon to transfer all the posts from my other blog to this blog.  The other blog is going to go away.  The church people who in their special way, seem to hate me, are all over the other blog still.  I don't think they all are, but there are still far too many hits coming over there than is the norm.  The only way I can make them leave it alone is for it to go away.  If any of you here, know of anyone else who used to read the other blog and was not invited here, please let me know.  When I did my invite list for this blog, I went by my comments section to see who read and commented.  I am sure I have readers who do not comment and for them, I am sorry, but I cannot have the blog being public right now.  Once I have a new job, I will probably make this one public but until then, it can't happen.

I found out today who threw me under the bus.  Everytime I think I have my feelings about this under control, I find out something new.  The Brit resigned last night and apparently after he left, the whole story came out.  A member of the church and his wife didn't like the blog post and pulled another member of council into it.  The thing is that out of the seven people who are so twisted at me and The Brit right now, these two people have been the nicest!  I think she knew today when I was leaving tho, that I knew it was she and her husband. I was just trying to get out the door and she stopped me and said "Give me a hug."

I guess she was hoping to drive the knife in deeper.  Unbelievable.

I am not sure how any of this for the church is going to end up.  I don't want them to fall, and they didn't the first time there was trouble (this couple was right smack in the middle of that mess too.  Go figure.  Though the folks that left in that split had definite issues in their way of thinking, I was there but not in the midst of the mess.  This couple seems to thrive there) so hopefully they will survive this mess too.  But lots of people are still upset on "both sides" (I hate the sides thing.  shouldn't we all be on the same side?) and that is never a good thing.  Someone tell me that there are normal churches out there that don't have drama every five years?