Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Should I Feel Guilty?


So really quick on The Biggest Loser....is anyone else watching it?  Last night was kind of uneventful except for these observations/facts:



  • Shay and Daniel, my orange team, kicked the challenge to win immunity for the week.  I love these two.  They are so real and Dan is such an inspiration and the poster child for never giving up; see what you want and go for it! 

  • Anyone else want to kick Tracey's ass?  I love you, Coach Mo, but please, stand up to this hobag and don't allow her to make all the decisions for your team.  You wanted Julio to stay and she got her way one more time.  Ugh, it is becoming sickening.

  • Danny seems sweet, but Liz has not yet endeared herself to me, even though she had apparently done that with many members of the cast.  She seems to complain a lot, but again, we are only seeing what is being aired.

  • Julio went home and is kicking it on his own.  He looks GREAT!

Now, everyone knows the stigma that can go with WLS.  Some see it as "the easy way out" *cough, cough* though I don't know what planet those people are from, but whatever.  But anyway, due to that mentality, I don't generally tell strangers about my choices.  Jack McFarland knows as I think I told him at one of my first few kickboxing classes.  Jerry, the very nice older gentleman who works at the Y knows too as I told him.  But at the gym, that is kind of it as far as who knows about my surgery.

Now I have been taking a Muscle Makeover class with this very nice lady named Donna.  Really like her.  She knows a lot about fitness and is actually getting certified to be a personal trainer.  As she is a wealth of information, and I am constantly reading stuff on fitness, health, foods, etc, we chat a lot before class.  During our discussions, I have told her that I have lost over 100 pounds and at one point in one of our conversations, she asked me what made me finally decide to change my body.  I went into the whole having been overweight/obese since I was a kid and I just wanted the second part of my life to be different.  Tonight we were talking again and I was telling her about my crunches on the stability ball and even doing 200 of them, I had no feeling of soreness the next day anymore and she suggested I hold a weight while doing them.  I confessed to her how I wanted to be a size 14 but my body seemed to want to hang onto the 18.  Sherri, another lady in our class who sometimes teaches Spin, said that we all needed to get past the number and just work on health and I agreed but said I still wanted my number.  I have no desire to be a single digit size; I like to have some curves.  At the end of our conversation, Donna said to me "I'm just so proud of you for achieving so much."

Why do I feel guilty for not being up front about my surgery?  Is it because so many people have the "easy way out" mentality that we or at least I, occasionally wonder if I somehow cheated?  Do I need to be upfront with people I am discussing weight loss and fitness with?  What are the right answers?  I'm not ashamed of my surgery, yet at the same time, I don't want people thinking less of what I have done because I had it.  I have worked my ass off to get to where I am and I know that.  But should I feel guilty about not telling the whole truth?



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