A Year Later

So a year ago, a huge part of my life changed.  A year ago, after not getting any results from the church council, I blogged about my discontent and was attacked by people I had known and trusted my entire life.  I have learned a lot in a year, some good, some not as good.

• I have learned that no matter how much you think you know someone you really don't. 
• I have learned that people who are supposed to be among the most trustworthy will lie to save their own ass or to make themselves look better.
• I have learned that not even church is safe, even though it should be.
• I have learned that people will go to great lengths to be "right".
• I have learned that sometimes good people who should fight for you won't because they are afraid and that this does not make them bad people.  It only makes them fearful people.
• I have learned that there is no replacement for people who know you well and you can be yourself with.  I miss being with these people.
• I have learned that at times God wants me to act, even if I don't want to.
• I have learned that maybe you cannot be spiritually fulfilled and still be surrounded with people you want to spend a lot of time with.  So far in my life, it has been one or the other.

So there you have it.  It has been a hard year.  I am spiritually happy and miss my friends.  I still see them but not as often as I would like and certainly not every Sunday.  I spent some time with them Saturday and there is just no replacement for those relationships.  They are what I lost.  I gained being spiritually fulfilled.

One day maybe there will be both.