Time for my quarterly post!
No, seriously, I really want to try to get back here more often. I am starting to miss it and I think after the blog blowup at the old church, the idea of blogging left a bad taste in my mouth for a long time. We always remember the bad stuff, don't we?
So I am still struggling. Have not been on the scales due to fear. Still wearing a now snug size 18 pants and so do not want to switch sizes. I still have a plastic bin full of size 14s that I had goals of wearing one day and I still cannot bring myself to get rid of them. I am able to hit the gym about twice a week and I manage to walk twice a week in the evenings or weekend afternoons. And I still snack all the freaking time. Pretzels, animal crackers, sometimes those chewy sugary goodness called orange slices or swedish fish. Chocolate? Not so much. On rare occasion if I really want to feel lousy afterward.
Every single day I think about getting the extra pounds off. Mostly it is a carb downfall. Bread, how I love you! Pasta is an easy pack and go lunch. I have almost forgotten how I used to eat but I think part of the problem is that is that since my surgery I have never learned how to eat on a full time work basis. When I was part time at the church from hell, I had a plan. I had a snack after two hours and two hours later, was off work and hitting the gym. Came home, had something light and was good until dinner. Now, I have five hours from the time I start work until I take lunch and will nibble things in that time. Then there is lunch where I try to take some leftovers from home with the exception of Fridays when Teressa and I always split a small pizza. Breakfast on a good day is either some Kashi cereal with soy milk or oatmeal. On a bad day, it is bagel and low fat cream cheese from Panera, which of course, is all carb and doesn't stick with me long.
Do I still get full? Yes, uncomfortably so. But I am often convinced that the food tastes too good to stop eating. Gotta finish the whole thing.
I need to get a plan back in action. My muffin top is becoming a cake top and it has to go. My energy is not where it used to be, I don't feel as good as I used to and I have been battling a cold for three weeks, where when I weighed less, it was rare for me to get sick.
So let's talk! What works? What snacks are satisfying and still healthy? Anyone else doing battle? I am resolving to buy no animal crackers or pretzels tomorrow at the store. But I will need to substitute it with something. I know I can get this weight back off if I can come up with a plan. I had a great taste of what health was like and I crave getting back there!
In other news, I have gotten a promotion at work to Volunteer Coordinator, but am currently trying to learn that job while still doing my old job until I am replaced. My oldest son has decided he is bisexual. My youngest is in middle school, which is a whole 'nother ball game. My dog is still awesome, I love my job and am anxious for winter to be over.
Seems that what is standing between me and happiness is a bag of pretzels, some animal crackers and a handful of orange slices.