Saturday, March 3, 2012

Weight Struggles

Time for my quarterly post!

No, seriously, I really want to try to get back here more often.  I am starting to miss it and I think after the blog blowup at the old church, the idea of blogging left a bad taste in my mouth for a long time.  We always remember the bad stuff, don't we?  

So I am still struggling.  Have not been on the scales due to fear.  Still wearing a now snug size 18 pants and so do not want to switch sizes.  I still have a plastic bin full of size 14s that I had goals of wearing one day and I still cannot bring myself to get rid of them.  I am able to hit the gym about twice a week and I manage to walk twice a week in the evenings or weekend afternoons.  And I still snack all the freaking time.  Pretzels, animal crackers, sometimes those chewy sugary goodness called orange slices or swedish fish.  Chocolate?  Not so much.  On rare occasion if I really want to feel lousy afterward.  

Every single day I think about getting the extra pounds off.  Mostly it is a carb downfall.  Bread, how I love you!  Pasta is an easy pack and go lunch.  I have almost forgotten how I used to eat but I think part of the problem is that is that since my surgery I have never learned how to eat on a full time work basis.  When I was part time at the church from hell, I had a plan.  I had a snack after two hours and two hours later, was off work and hitting the gym.  Came home, had something light and was good until dinner.  Now, I have five hours from the time I start work until I take lunch and  will nibble things in that time.  Then there is lunch where I try to take some leftovers from home with the exception of Fridays when Teressa and I always split a small pizza.  Breakfast on a good day is either some Kashi cereal with soy milk or oatmeal.  On a bad day, it is bagel and low fat cream cheese from Panera, which of course, is all carb and doesn't stick with me long.  

Do I still get full?  Yes, uncomfortably so.  But I am often convinced that the food tastes too good to stop eating.  Gotta finish the whole thing.  

I need to get a plan back in action.  My muffin top is becoming a cake top and it has to go.  My energy is not where it used to be, I don't feel as good as I used to and I have been battling a cold for three weeks, where when I weighed less, it was rare for me to get sick.  

So let's talk!  What works?  What snacks are satisfying and still healthy?  Anyone else doing battle?  I am resolving to buy no animal crackers or pretzels tomorrow at the store.  But I will need to substitute it with something.  I know I can get this weight back off if I can come up with a plan.  I had a great taste of what health was like and I crave getting back there!

In other news, I have gotten a promotion at work to Volunteer Coordinator, but am currently trying to learn that job while still doing my old job until I am replaced.   My oldest son has decided he is bisexual.  My youngest is in middle school, which is a whole 'nother ball game.  My dog is still awesome, I love my job and am anxious for winter to be over.  

Seems that what is standing between me and happiness is a bag of pretzels, some animal crackers and a handful of orange slices.



  1. >>>What snacks are satisfying and still healthy?

    Nuts. I prefer walnuts, for the health benefits (major omega-3's, way more than fish oil), but hazelnuts and almonds are also good for you. Raw nuts, that is.... not the kind with oil and salt. Walnuts are high in fiber and protein as well, and are a fantastic topping for salads. They're my mid-morning snack at work.

    Dried fruit. I like dried apples... lots of fiber. Also, figs.

    I get mine here (b/c I live in the middle of nowhere and have to order online):

  2. Yeah, I had something snarky to write here, but I'll forgo simply because it's so nice to see you back. No help here in the diet dept. I'm fat too and eating really crappy. I even hid the home gym behind screens cause I got tired of it judging me.

  3. First, it's amazing to hear that you're back to blogging :D

    As to healthy snacks, try to have some fruit here and there. Apples, pears and bananas are always easy to carry in your bag. Someone mentioned dried food, I love dried mangoes, unfortunately, we don't have it here!Yogurt is also a good option, as are cereal bars (I'm a fan of nutri grain). If you're craving a bagel, there are whole wheat options (7 grains or something).

    Whenever I go through those periods of having to snack all the time, I always feel that I need a day or to to break the (bad) cycle and go back to normal. I'm trying to break one of those cycles right now, lol. After two days I know I won't feel that anxious. Maybe. ha. ;D

    The fact that you of all people are the mother of your kids just proves that God works all the time. They're blessed to have somebody as open minded as you. You are the extreme opposite of ignorance.

    Love ya, KP, welcome back!