Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes...Turn and face the strange..or hard headed

I've decided that when it comes to some things, I'm a little bit complicated. 

In many sets of circumstances, I can easily put on a front of "I don't care".  Not because I'm being difficult, but because some things are just how they are and even if someone else doesn't accept those things being as they are, it doesn't make it anyone's fault.  So if I'm doing something I'm supposed to be doing and someone gets angry because I'm doing it, my thoughts are just "It is what it is" and if someone else can't deal with it, that isn't my problem.

Not that I'm callus. It isn't that.  There are just some things that need to change or that are supposed to change regardless of how someone else feels about it. 

I like people to like me for the most part and don't like having people angry with me, unless they are people I don't particularly care for.  I give everyone a fair shake, I think, but some people are just disagreeable, or vindictive and those kinds of people, I really don't care if they like me or not.  God says I have to love them, but I don't have to like them.  There is a difference and not everyone is likable. 

So when someone I either like or don't dislike is angry with me, it bothers me, especially when their anger is misplaced. 

Today, someone accused me of something being "my fault" when I was just following the instruction of those who give me instruction in my job.  This person though, apparently feels that the changes are of my doing and they aren't really.  I support the changes because they should have changed a long time ago and this one person is the sole reason the changes didn't happen years before.  People have fought for this in the past, and didn't win out against one individual, who surprisingly enough, is not an employee, but a volunteer.  An elderly, do not change anything because I don't want anything to change ever, volunteer.

Because of the changes taking place, I have spent time walking on eggshells around this person because I don't dislike her and I don't want to butt heads with her.  And though I empathize with her situation regarding this change, I still support the change as the right thing to do, but she is never going to see it as the right thing to do. 

Today, when she blantantly accused me of this being my fault, I came back at her (calmly, of course) in order to defend myself.  The changes were not my fault just because I supported them. Yet, I hate to see someone upset and she was upset; tearful even.  I know when you have been doing something for forty years, it must be hard to give it up, but yet, the only thing constant in this life, other than God, is change.  People grow older, technology advances, situations mold and evolve.  You can't stop it.  Yes, you can dig your heels in and declare you aren't going, but then life is just going to pass you by while you stubbornly remain right where you are.

So, how do you handle someone like this?  If I empathize too much, she will think I agree with her, which I don't.  I know she is hurt but she is taking this personally and it is not personal.  Yes, I tried to tell her that today, so maybe there is nothing else that can be done.  I don't want her to be upset, but I don't want to be her scapegoat either just because she needs someone to be angry with because life changes.  Get angry with a clock...that would make just as much sense as getting angry with me.

Hopefully, and this too shall pass.

Just stating the facts, ma'am

A little conversation from this morning:

JJ: I hope my bus is early because we get to pick our seats today and I want to sit in the back.

Me: In the back?  Why in the back?

JJ: Because that's where all the cool kids sit.

Me: And you're a cool kid?

JJ: Puh...yeah.



How on earth is he growing up so fast?

This and That

Okay, updates!

On Prayer

We started a new prayer group at church tonight that I'm pretty excited about.  There are only a handful of us so far, but it was still amazing for me.  We talked, raised concerns for people, and we'll be doing a study using a book for prayerful healing.  At the end, when we prayed aloud, it was awesome.  That spontaneous feeling of praying as I felt led to pray aloud was just new and incredible.  I'm so looking forward to seeing what God has in store for this group!

NaNoWriMo

As some of you may recall, last year I participated in NaNoPoBloMo, which was National Blog Writing Month.  NaNoPoBloMo is actually a spin off of NaNoWriMo, which is National Novel Writing Month and also takes place during the month of November.  A few excerpts from their website:

National Novel Writing Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

For someone who has always hungered to write, this could be an incredible thing.  I have had a title for my first Christian fiction book forever and I have a rough plot.  I'm trying to work out a few issues with characters and plot in the next two months before insanity starts.  I'll also need to figure out how many words per day and per week I'll need to type in order to make the goal.  The only major thing, other than Thanksgiving and JJ's birthday, that occurs in November is kid's Christmas shopping, so I think if I'm going to do NaNoWriMo, I will need to slate toy store shopping for the end of October, because the beginning of December in a toy store???  Nu uh!  I will keep you all updated on if I am going to do this thing and then if I am, know that there may be few blog entries that have more than a word or two of desperation and insane musings.

School

Yes, people, school started last week.  After a day of happy dancing, I set to work reclaiming my house, ie cleaning up summer and am still at it.  I start out the summer trying to keep up with the "breadcrumbs" the kids leave throughout the house (legos on the floors, models on every table in sight, stuffed cats everywhere, sticky counters, floors, tables, you get the picture) and eventually run myself ragged and finally decided "To hell with this!  It never ends!"  So, by mid-July, I have given up until the day they board the buses once more.

In sadder school news, one of my favorite teenagers in the world has set off to college, two hours away.  This kid has been singing next to me in the praise band since he was ten and I have always referred to him as "an old soul".  As he pointed out to me on the mission trip, I have never treated him like a child, but as an equal, because, well, he just was!  We had similar interests and similar opinions and I'm already missing the living daylights out of him.  He's just always been one of my favorite people and I wish him every success.

Now, how about a pic or two from Amish country to end the night?

A Commissioning

I was just reading Beth Moore's blog and found what she talked about at the Atlanta Women of Faith conference.  I liked it, so I thought I'd share.

My Dear Sister,
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
Has His hand on you.
Don't trade what He has for you
For the comforts of this world.
Let the love of Christ compel you
And infuse you with courage.
God, even God, who created the heavens
Is the One who comforts you.
Whatever you do,
Don't refuse it!
His grace will guard you from bitterness
And Christ will turn your pain
Into Holy Passion.
Pour your life lavishly into others.
Humble yourself and share your hardships
That others may also share your comfort.
Live till you die!
Then live like there's no tomorrow!
For the King enthroned in Heaven
Is worthy of your all.
Now, go, Girl!
For the Father of Mercies
And the God of all comfort
Goes with you.
Bless be God
And bless be you!

Short and Sick-ish

So the day after we returned from Lancaster, I came down with some sort of creeping crud that lasted about three days.  Congestion, fever, chills, the works and it was horrible and then I started to feel better until today.  Today, I am again feeling a little under the weather and am actually hoping that maybe it is a relapse that will last until Saturday night in order to avoid any and all contention about Saturday.  If I'm sick, I can't go anywhere and people can't be mad at me for being sick, right?

I have also come to the realization that no matter what way Saturday goes (other than the sick possibility) I will be in the middle of something.  Not going, people will be mad at me.  Going, person will be mad at me.  Well, ain't life just grand?  Maybe if I don't relapse, I can just split myself in two for a day so I can make everyone happy but me.  Perhaps that would at least be the way of least contention.

C'mon relapse.

Stay tuned for Nanowrimo, long awaited vacation pictures and the happy dance because school started yesterday!

The road of least resistance

I don't generally like to blog when I'm angry or in this case, frustrated, but there are times when this blog is therapy when I don't feel like people are hearing me or understanding me.

There are certain things that even though they  are "not right" are simply necessary.  Not because it is life and death or anything like that, but sometimes you just have to decide what is the lesser of two evils.  This is not always an easy thing for me to do and apparently it is an even more difficult thing for someone else to understand. 

Being the female, I put up with a good bit of flack from the mothers in this family.  If the Brit and I decide to do something or not do something that my mother doesn't like, I get the flack from it.  If his mother is not happy about something, I get the flack for it (such as not sending a birthday card because I didn't get it out in the mail on time for it to arrive overseas in a reasonable time frame).  The mothers do not go to him, they go to me, and I do my best to pick and chose my battles and there is a certain element of respect that one has to apply when dealing with older parents as well.  The fact is that often the Brit is not aware of the flack that I deal with.  I just do my best to take it in stride, smooth it over and allow life to go on as pleasantly and stress-free as possible.

So there is this "thing" coming up that we were invited to that we really don't want to attend, however, not attending is going to cause lots of that flack I mentioned earlier that I will be the one to receive.  Now, one might say "Who cares?  The other people just need to deal with it."  Yes, there is that option, but I am not one to cut off my nose to spite my face.  Pissing off my mother makes my life difficult in many ways.  She is the one I call if I need someone to be here for the kids if I need to go somewhere or do something.  She is the one who will go shopping with me if I don't want to go alone.  If I have to take the kids out during the day for some reason, she is the one who will go along and help me field them.  She is the one  who when she stays for Sunday School, will bring my kids home afterward so I don't have to hang about an extra hour waiting for them.  Do we always get along or see eye to eye?  No.  It's a relationship, so there is give and take.  This is, unfortunately, one of those times I have to give despite the fact that there is nothing I'd rather do than to selfishly do exactly what I want to do. 

When parents get older, one has to be careful about how they leave things as well because I do not want to go through some "We're not speaking" thing and then have something happen to one of them during that time (this goes for my mother as well as for in laws).  There is also that factor of when they get older, they tend to become at times a little more one way and I can either enter into many pissing matches with them or I can just accept this about them and move on.  I chose to accept and move on because I prefer to not have the contention or the stress in my life of having a family member pissed off at me. 

This is the way I generally chose to handle all parents in my life, because one day I'm going to be the elderly mother who may want my children to do certain things at certain times, and not necessarily because I have a right to do that but because I am old and sometimes cantankerous and want my own way because I may not have that many days left on this earth.

So for now, I chose the path of least resistance because I am going with what I feel like dealing with as it will ultimately fall on me.  So, I'd rather have the parental party happy than to endure days or weeks of being snubbed.  Does it always make sense?  No.  But sometimes it is just the way it is.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

So, we're back home and I'm loving on my cats and rejoicing over having my old, normal size computer back. 

New Hope was okay.  Peddler's Village would have been wonderful without kids and with a few girlfriends (I'm planning a girl's day out shopping for early November.  Some of you may be receiving an email shortly).   It was nice to get away, and at the same time good to be back home.  There will be pictures soon.

I love to see new places; love observing new people and their ways of life.  I can't begin to express how taken I was with the Amish way of life: Live simply, work hard and have a firm foundation in God.  As we drove deeper into PA close to Philly, I was saddened to see the scenery change, to see the traffic increase and to no longer see horse pulled buggies as a way of transportation.

I was expecting to notice people being colder once we drew nearer to the city, but surprisingly enough, this morning, I was very much proven wrong.  We were having breakfast at our Marriott in Trenton, NJ and a man was walking around talking to the kids with this bag full of beanie babies, asking the kids if they would take care of one of them for him.  I have no idea how many of these he had, but there was not a child in sight who did not have one.  I stopped one of the servers and explaining that I love to know the stories, asked her who the man was with the beanie babies.  She explained that he was the general manager of the hotel and he often had little gifts for the children.  It was something new, sadly out of context in today's world and heart warming.

Likewise, last night at dinner, an older gentleman stopped to chat with us and with the boys a couple of times and then gave the kids each a dollar for being so well behaved.  Again, amazing.  We wound up chatting about Lancaster and Sight and Sound and it was just nice to find people being so friendly.

I do think it's sad that it really isn't the norm anymore.  I was reading an article in USA Today about a British guywho was making his way across America on $5 a day, so he had to rely on the kindness of strangers.  He talked about where in the US people were the nicest and where they wouldn't give him the time of day.  I'd like to see the show when it premiers.