Monday, August 6, 2007

Meet the Parents


Saturday, we had a birthday party for my youngest son, Aaron, who has just turned twelve and for a girl who likes to try to pull her hair out around children, I found that I had very little to fear from the little people.  It was the parents that need to be avoided.

The day started out busy as I had a house to clean, a cake to pick up, food to get ready etc before everyone arrived at 4:00.  Remember those neighbors that I've had bad feelings about?  Well, I still had those bad feelings, especially after hearing that for some reason, he is going to jail for three months once his medical problems are sorted out, but anyway, I digress.  About 9:30, Mr. Neighbor calls and asks if his five year old daughter, A, could come down and "help get ready for the party."  Okay...she wasn't actually invited as Aaron is twelve and A is five, but whatever.  I'll continue to be a good neighbor.  Absolutely.  Send her down.

The other thing about these people is that they call...often.  So about six phone calls later, they are going out of town and can A stay with us and they will be back to pick her up around six.  Sure.  Whatever.  If nothing else, she gave JJ something to do as they went outside to swim (the child is a fish....amazing in water). 

The children began arriving...Mandy and her clan and my mother, and Robyn and Aaron's friend from school, Jonathan.   Now, Aaron had also invited two children he had met that week in Good News Club camp, who were the last to arrive...with their mother.....who planned on staying the whole three hours.  She reminded me of a mennonite woman without the little hat as she had on a long dress and her blond hair was pulled back in a bun.  I had no issue with that...until she proceeded to police her children...and eventually, the rest of the children.

This mom was big on what she called "first time obedience", meaning if you tell a child something once, that should be the only time you have to tell them.  Yeah, okay.  She obviously doesn't live in my world of "Fifth time begrudging acceptance or be grounded."  She was constantly hollering out the back door at her two children for one thing or another (usually, they were just being kids), putting them in time out, etc (for not living by that first time obedience rule).  She also had a fascination of taking pictures of Aaron, wanting him to pose different ways with his cake....she had never met him before that day, I don't think.  She was very overbearing. 

By the time we were gathering all the children to sing Happy Birthday, poor Jonathan was standing in the kitchen playing Aaron's new Play station Portable while waiting for everyone to arrive for the blowing of the candles.  This mom looked at him and said, "You're playing a game in front of guests?"  Unable to take anymore, I looked at her and said, "He doesn't live here."  Big time relief when she went home.  I should have ordered her home sooner, thus testing the theory of does first time obedience being at the top of the family food chain.

Now, part two of this story, was little A.  The six 'o clock pick up time, turned into about 8:30 and I was more than ready for her to go.  She's cute and all, but wants to tattle on my kids for every little thing she doesn't deem as right, like she lives here or something.  But finally, Mr. Neighbor came down to get her, chatted for a few minutes and took her home.  There was no "thank you" that I can recall, but I really didn't care. 

About fifteen minutes later, Mandy was getting ready to leave with her crew, when the phone rang.  Rolling my eyes, I saw that it was Mr. Neighbor, calling for the seventh time today.  Answering it, he asked if he could talk to JJ for a moment and I didn't think anything of it as the man is always losing things and wanting to know if my kids have seen the missing items, which they never have as it is usually a situation where little A has walked off with it.  I handed JJ the phone as I chatted with Mandy, and then we heard JJ saying "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...."

When he hung up, he was in tears and he explained that he had dunked A and apparently, Mr. Neighbor called up here to give him the dickens about it.  Now, please remember a similar story at Christmas and how I feel about such things.   Dang it, you do not bypass the parent to scold someone else's child!  JJ did admit to dunking her....at like 3:00 that afternoon and Miss Tattletale, who tells me everything didn't think enough of it to tell me, but she did tell her parents SIX HOURS LATER. 

Let me state my views on this very plainly, so no one is confused.  If you are watching my child and he does something wrong, I expect you to handle it.  However, if someone else is watching your child and you were not even in the near vicinity of that child, you do not go out of your way to scold my child for something your child told you!  You come to me and let me handle it.  Why do people not get this?  It's not exactly rocket science.  It's common sense!

So, the Brit called up to the neighbors and had a few words with them and it looks like maybe they won't be calling me quite so much anymore.  Heh.  Doesn't really bother me as I'm not crazy about talking on the phone to people I barely know anyway.


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