I have been falling into some terrible habits the last few weeks and they have got to stop! I know the majority of this has been stressed induced and the stress has not yet stopped completely with the unknown stretching out before me with a new job. BUT, I have been snacking more. I have been partaking of dessert a bit more often. Again, the latter will auto-stop with going full time next week and my lunch dates a thing of the past! I need to hold myself accountable and I need you all to help hold me accountable!
I refuse to gain weight! I have lived my life that way and though I am not the size I want to be yet I also do not want to regress! I said this surgery was for LIFE so falling back into these old, comforting yet terrible habits just cannot be an option for me.
I don't even like talking about struggling. I want to be the strong one; the one who has it all figured out and who is not tempted by the unhealthy. But it simply isn't true. It's all such a balance; life is such a balance and there will always be temptations in our way but I need to return to making the better decisions.
The church is now officially over other than what I will do for them at home. No more going through those doors or dealing with people who have forgotten how to act like Christians. My last day was uneventful. The Church Lady came in again and got emotional with me, Papa Don and the Music Director. Papa said to me later "You never knew you had such a fan, did you?" Honestly, I did not, but she hugged me again and was tearful when she left. She is disheartened by what happened to me there and I kind of hope she makes some waves about it. She's a tough old bird and given the people who have been too afraid to take up for me when they hear someone saying something untrue, I do believe The Church Lady would. But for me, the chapter is closed and a new one ready to begin.