Okay, Need You All

I have been falling into some terrible habits the last few weeks and they have got to stop!  I know the majority of this has been stressed induced and the stress has not yet stopped completely with the unknown stretching out before me with a new job.  BUT, I have been snacking more.  I have been partaking of dessert a bit more often.  Again, the latter will auto-stop with going full time next week and my lunch dates a thing of the past!  I need to hold myself accountable and I need you all to help hold me accountable!

I refuse to gain weight!  I have lived my life that way and though I am not the size I want to be yet I also do not want to regress!  I said this surgery was for LIFE so falling back into these old, comforting yet terrible habits just cannot be an option for me.  

I don't even like talking about struggling.  I want to be the strong one; the one who has it all figured out and who is not tempted by the unhealthy.  But it simply isn't true. It's all such a balance; life is such a balance and there will always be temptations in our way but I need to return to making the better decisions.

The church is now officially over other than what I will do for them at home.  No more going through those doors or dealing with people who have forgotten how to act like Christians.  My last day was uneventful.  The Church Lady came in again and got emotional with me, Papa Don and the Music Director.  Papa said to me later "You never knew you had such a fan, did you?" Honestly, I did not, but she hugged me again and was tearful when she left.  She is disheartened by what happened to me there and I kind of hope she makes some waves about it.  She's a tough old bird and given the people who have been too afraid to take up for me when they hear someone saying something untrue, I do believe The Church Lady would.  But for me, the chapter is closed and a new one ready to begin.

 

Final Coundown

So Jimnotmike is getting impatient with my lack o blogging.  Just busy, writing a lot, just not here and no, I am not giving any details on that.



One more day in the hell that is my church job!  Tomorrow is it, peeps!  I am off on Thursday and Friday and start the new endeavor on Monday.  I have made lunch dates for every afternoon this week in honor of my last week of free afternoons and with each lunch I am having a beer.  Don't know why that last part is a goal, but it just is and it has been fun.  Today was my final day of the Lutheran Study from Hell and no one had any sudden revelation that they were acting like children, not that I expected it.  


I actually had a really nice conversation with The Church Lady today.  She had heard, of course, that I had resigned and came in to talk to me.  I had not said one word to her the last four months about anything that happened. Not one word.  But today, she asked.  She knew I had not been coming to church and I told her where I had been going and she had nothing but good things to say about my new pastor.  Then she asked what happened and I gave her a condensed version.  Basically, my thought process was that once I was out the door tomorrow, anything further said about me by those people would be more lies as that is what they have been telling such as I didn't want to be Lutheran and that I had brain washed the youth group.  She was horrified.  Could not believe, like me, that such things went on in a church.  She was teary eyed at the end of our conversation and even said that though she and I did not always see eye to eye, that she enjoyed working with me and that I was easy to work with.  I thanked her for making my job easier by the things she did that I did not have to worry about. It was, hands down, the best conversation I had ever had with her.  Would'a thought?


I still have to hit thrift shops this week for dress clothes for work.  I did find two Coldwater Creek items on Sunday in Chambersburg for the total price of $10.  I love second hand shopping!


The Brit is in Atlanta again this week until late Friday night so I am going out for dinner and drinks Friday night as The Genius is going on a youth retreat and The Lawyer is heading to grandma's house.  Looking forward to it and it keeps me from worrying about Monday.


So there ya go; what has been going on in a nutshell!

The key to change... is to let go of fear.”

So I have concluded that I am relatively terrified of starting this new job.  I feel as if I am leaving a protective cocoon to go out into the real world again.  Am I excited?  Yes.  And terrified.   What if I screw it all up and don't even make it through my 90 days probation?  Maybe I have forgotten how to be in a real workforce with real people.  Maybe I just won't "get it" with the things they want me to do.  I hate insecurity but I guess it is normal.  Of course, it doesn't help when I get my congratulations letter from the Humane Society that also says "We do not guarantee employment", but again, probably pretty standard stuff.  And again, The Brit is probably going to be away my first week working there which does not make me feel much better.  I am working on trusting God on this one as I told Him I would wait for Him to give me the job He wanted me to have.

I ran two miles today.  My treadmill and I are probably going to become good friends until the warm weather gets here. 

Hard to Believe...

 ...I used to blog every single day, huh?   I have been big on the suck of late!

So my notice was turned in at the church yesterday and pastor extraordinaire came in this morning and I said "Good morning" and he said, "No, it's not."  He was not happy, or so he says, with my resignation.  I blatantly but politely told him that when people in the church start lying about me, it is time to call it quits. Oh, and he is one of the people lying about me.  Nice and pastorly, huh?  He told people who were also not happy with his sermons that he had asked me and The Brit what we wanted to see him do with the sermons and we couldn't give him any feedback.  Nice.  He and I talked extensively after all this hit the fan about the sermons and heaven knows, he never called The Brit, even though he said he was going to.

So anyway....notice in.  Moving on.

I had my girls over to KNIT on Saturday.  Can you believe that one?  After being reminded of how to cast on, I started a scarf!  It was great to spend some time with Robyn, Lisa and Deanna and then Kelly and Tod met up with us for dinner at the Indian restaurant where I celebrated the new job and drank a lot of wine.  It rocked.

Came home tonight to find that the guys had eaten and had left all the dirty dishes in the sink and when the new job starts, this ain't happening.  I had The Genius come out to the kitchen to wash them but this needs to become a given.  Mondays and Tuesdays I am planning to go to Y right after work to keep up with my zumba and kickboxing  and Wednesdays is church and I need to leave my house by 6:30 that night.  If The Brit is home on time at 6:00 I will be minimally rushed and if he is late, it will be a bit of a frenzy.  So the kids are going to have to learn to automatically chip in, so we are going to have to have a family meeting and go over expectations this weekend sometime.  


I don't see working out being too tricky until after the clocks change in the fall.  With it being light out later soon, I can run or walk in the evenings.  I cannot leave exercise in the dust with working full time and I won't.  I feel too good when I work out and it keeps my overall health in good condition.  

So I am preparing mentally to completely change my routine which is where it has to begin.

Closing a Chapter on a Book that Did not Have a Good Ending.

I accepted a job offer today from the Humane Society to be an Administrative Assistant. I am thrilled to bits and a little bit sad, but on the same note, anxious to finally be done with the other church for good.  I placed calls today to my favorite people at the old church to let them know and to tell them that my formal letter of resignation would be ready for Monday night's council meeting.  I owed these three men an immediate head's up and also offered to do some work from home after I begin the new job on March 7th if they needed more time.  I do not want to leave them high and dry as that is not my style and these guys have been very good to me and highly supportive.

I'm a wee bit sad because I did enjoy working there.  The job was easy but on the flip side, other than dealing with The Church Lady, not very challenging.  I am leaving behind four weeks vacation which will be painful.  I am going from 20 hours a week to 40 which I don't really mind but it will be challenging for things like grocery shopping and working out, which has to continue to happen.  It's all do-able, but will just take some adjusting after being spoiled for five years.  It will be nice to have some extra money, not that we are strapped but The Brit has medical bills rolling in from these kidney stones and of course as they didn't happen till the first of the year, none of our deductible had been met.  

I will have to give up some things, like accompanying The Brit to San Fransisco this fall as I doubt I have more than two weeks vacation.  The kids will have to learn to get themselves out the door in the morning as I start work at 8:00.  They will also get home before me, and I am not giving up my kickboxing class so that will mean going right from work to the YMCA on Tuesday nights.  The kids and husband are going to have to help out a bit more as I no longer will have afternoons free to accomplish stuff.  So will all be adjusting for a bit but it is all good I hope.

So the chapter on CLC comes to a close.  There were many happy moments there, but the bad note a few select people caused can quickly overshadow the good stuff unfortunately.  Despite feeling a bit sad, I feel as if a great burden has been lifted....and that is a good thing.

Absentee Ballot

Yeah, I haven't been here and I really have no excuse.  Have just been busy single parenting and trying to get back on track as far as my workouts go and you know what?  I think the true bottom line is that it is my annual winter depression.  Though I hate winter in general, the time from February until the warmth finally arrives is the worst for me.  I am out of patience with the cold, I am tired of my winter wardrobe, I am sick to death of the marks the rock salt leaves on my floors and I am desperate to look outside and see green.  I miss seeing my friends regularly because there are no fire pit nights in the winter. I JUST HATE IT.  Given a choice, I would go upstairs to bed and hibernate until the temps reach 70.

So I have the blahs.  The winter blahs.  I cannot wait to see the buds on the trees and to be able to do some work outside as I am bored to death with inside work.  I want my kids to play outside for a change and I want my car windows down when I drive. I walk to walk and run in the park.  I know a lot of people complain about the humidity of summer and though I don't cherish it, given a choice over the cold of winter, I would much rather have the humidity. 

So there you have it.  I will try to find something of interest to write about.  I promise.  But a warm spell would help.

Teenage Nightmare

I am not certain I am going to survive the teenage years of one teenage boy.  He has almost overnight gone from difficult to impossible.  Let's see, he has been acting out in the class my friend the teacher pulled strings to get him into, he has thrown The Lawyers DS across the room, he has texted his friends, lying that he was sitting in the office because he got into a fight but he didn't get into trouble because his dad called and yelled at them (all lies..there was no fight).  Then he confesses that he had been a jerk lately because two kids in Biology are picking on him (this is known as The Genius deflecting...it is a common stunt.).  And this has been in the last 26 hours hours alone.

He supposedly has a new girlfriend, which he texted The Brit about, telling him that the girl's mother had invited him to stay the weekend.  Yeah.  Obviously, we said no, and I told him that either one of two things were going on there:  1) her parents really didn't know about it or 2) what kind of parents were they to invite trouble in the form of a hormonal teenage boy to stay the night at their house? 

Lord, give me strength.

So he has lost his phone for a week. (Emily, tell Dave a point for him).  This has been insanity and The Brit is away next week, so it sure to get better (insert sarcastic tone).