Monday, March 19, 2007

I like feeling amazing


So I do.  I totally feel amazing. 

Peronally, I don't think that anyone can look at me yet and say "Oh my gosh, you've lost weight!" because I haven't lost enough yet.  But when I realize just how good I'm feeling...well, it's just amazing.  My energy is up so much and I can now finish my workout without wishing I was dead.  Where five weeks ago it took all I could do to keep up a fast walk on the recovery boards, I now jog on them and feel really good about it. 

I like feeling this way and I need to always remember that, because there are times when I think about how long this journey will take in total and then I become overwhelmed.  There are moments when I get really impatient.  I want to shop for regular sized clothes NOW!  But I can't yet because there is still much work to be done.  I didn't do this to myself overnight and I can't undo it overnight either.

So I have to remember how amazing I feel right now.  I have to remember the sense of accomplishment that I usually feel in those really good moments when I think about the way I used to eat compared to how I eat now.  I have to remember how much I like feeling tired at nine 'o clock at night instead of feeling exhausted and needing a nap when I get home from work at 12:45. (There were many times I didn't get the nap but I almost always wanted it!).  I like the fact that my workouts are becoming a priority.  Friday it was snowing like crazy beginning at seven 'o clock in the morning but they had not called off school. However, I knew they were going to get out early because it was forcast to snow all day.  I also knew that if they got out early, I would not be getting to Curves because #1 I would have kids at home and #2 Cruves would probably close early.  So I made an executive decision to go do my workout before going to work.  I could make up the thirty minutes I missed at work, but I would not get the last workout of my week back if I missed it. 

So, it's good.  It's all good.  I'm even pondering the possibility of adding a fourth workout on weeks that allow the time for it.  But you know what really feels amazing? 

Feeling in control of who I am becoming and that is someone who is comfortable in her own skin.



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