It's all good!

So!  Robyn's test results came back NEGATIVE!!  I'm still a wee bit miffed that the doctor didn't  call her on Wednesday when he said he would, but at least the extra wait was for good news (not that it made any difference at all for those of us waiting!  Not like it made that 48 hours bearable!).  Thank you to all of you who said prayers or thought good thoughts!

So today, the eNell bras arrived.  I have been like a kid looking forward to Christmas over these things!  I've been tracking them on UPS.com and finally this morning they were out for delivery!  You have to understand...when you are pretty well endowed, working out can be painful without the right support, therefore, my excitement.

They arrived and I promptly bolted upstairs carrying both of them, still in the plastic packaging.  There was going to be no waiting until tomorrow!  I had to test this thing out now.  As the Brit would say, they are "Front loaders" meaning they hook up the front, so I slid this thing on like you would a button up shirt, and was horrified to discover that it really didn't fit!  How on earth was I supposed to get the girls in there?  I was not to be deterred however, and I worked furiously to hook up the ten or fifteen little hook thingys.  Then I stood there and realized that where the girls were supposed to be in that thing, well, they were a bit low.  When I threw my shirt back out, I could clearly see the bunching up of where things were supposed to go and it didn't look good.  Could I exchange them?  Would the eBay seller allow that?

My eye caught sight then of the plastic packaging I had ripped the bra from in my haste to try it on and inside was a bright yellow paper.  Nothing subtle there.  Taking it out, the title screamed at me: PLEASE READ BEFORE TRYING ON.  Yeah, okay.  I way didn't do that.  Taking a seat, I proceeded to read the little yellow paper which started out something like this:

"Your ENELL is not like any other sport bra on the market today. It is going to fit and feel completely different.  Your first reaction may be that your ENELL is too small (yeah, got that right!) but it probably isn't! (I brightened up a bit there).  You are just not used to this much support!"

Then the bright yellow paper starts to get a little personal...

"Your ENELL should feel tight, yet comfortable.  When you have the hook and eye (what, they aren't called thingys?) in hand and before you start to pull to fasten, your hands should be under your breasts, slightly to the outside of the center (gotta love a paper that is telling you how to handle the girls). This is for high impact fit, which is the standard fit."

"Start to hook up your ENELL from the bottom and go up (Right...if I could see the bottom thingy...er, hook and eye, I probably would not need this super industrial bra in the first place), this gets easier with time (let's hope so).  Once you get your ENELL fastened, you need to reach in and adjust your breasts (Excuse me, little yellow paper...are we dating now?) in the bra by pulling them up and out towards the underarm (so now the girls are supposed to be contortionists) so the bra lays flat under the breasts.  The breasts should then be held firmly in the upper/fuller portion of the bra.  Your nipples should rest just below the arch seam (I'm sorry, but the instructions aren't this explicit in self breast exam pamphlets!!)."

But once I had adjusted my world in concordance with the little yellow paper, I can honestly say it is the best bra I have ever had the privilege of wearing.  And yes, we are now dating.