Bring it on

In the course of the next week, I need to make a decision about which structured diet program I'm going to go with.  It's narrowed down to TOPS or Weight Watchers.  Both I have issues with, but I need to chose.

Weight Watchers cost, I think, like $10 a week, which is a negative.  On the plus side, however, I believe there are MANY meetings each week of which to chose one that would suit my schedule and/or the Brit's schedule.  We could even attend different meetings if need be. 

TOPS is cheaper, but meetings are much more restrictive.  There are only six possible meetings each week, most of them either early morning like 7:30 or later morning like 11:00.  The only evening one is the one my mother attends, and family, do not utter a word to her, but I cannot do the same meetings my mama does.  The stress of that would come close to killing me, but then I could take that near death experience that God does not want me to have this surgery.  All the others interfere with either getting a kid to school or work, but there is always the option of leaving work to attend once a week and making up the time.  Kind of a pain for me, but it could be done.

So that decision needs to be made next week so that we can begin in October, which would mean the earliest I would even be eligible for surgery would be March, but it would probably more realistically be April.  Then if the Brit and I are going to take this Alaskan cruise next summer, that should give adequate  healing time to be off of just liquids, I hope.  My plan would be to get this thing rolling next month and try to set up with the surgeon in December, which would be the halfway mark so I can see what he requires.

I think I have picked Dr. Michael Schweitzeras my surgeon.  He comes recommended from someone I know who has had the surgery, plus he is part of Johns Hopkins, which has an excellent reputation.  I haven't yet contacted the office at all, but may do that next week to schedule an initial appointment.

I'm not feeling the fear I felt last time I started pursuing this, but it could still come and go and come again.  I have been doing a lot of blog reading and people do really well with this surgery.  Does the entire way you eat change for the rest of your life?  Yes, but bring it on.  I am so tired of all this.  It seems I have constant pain that I have become pretty good about ignoring.  I have a right heel spur that has been killing me, my knees are in terrible shape, every morning I wake up to lower back pain that drives me from my bed often before I am ready to get up and start the day.  I have sleep apnea and have to wear one of those sexy masks to bed every night.  I get winded walking up stairs.  I can't do a lot of the things I want to do and I'm missing out because of this.

I have been on every diet known to man, including both Weight Watchers and TOPS.  When Oprah first lost all her weight on that liquid crap, my mother dragged me to Winchester to a hospital where they were giving an orientation to her program.  We couldn't afford it, but I was there to hear about it.  I have made a career out of yoyo dieting and if I got paid for it, I'd be a millionaire. 

I was reading a blog today that gave two quotes I loved.  The first was "If there's magic in fighting battles beyond endurance, it's the magic of risking everything for a dream that nobody sees but you."
- Million Dollar Baby -

The second one was from the Bible: "It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."--Deuteronomy 31:8

I find both of these very profound and very comforting.

I hope ya'll have a wonderful weekend!