1-800-FEARBOX

I need a place to deposit fear, because it is really starting to hinder me.  I really don't want to have this fear, but I simply am not sure of what else to do with it.  I'd like to have a little box where I could put anything I'm afraid of,  place it on a shelf someplace and then just forget about it.  Fear just doesn't really serve us in any way, though I think sometimes people confuse fear with respect.  What I mean is that, to give an example, I don't fear the ocean, but I do have a healthy respect for it.  But that paralyzing kind of fear...it's just useless.

One great thing about Christian Fiction authors is that they are fairly accessible.  I have emailed and have gotten responses from Karen Kingbury and Dee Henderson in the past, who are two of my favorite CC authors.  Well, due to Women of Faith, I located this blog which is written by four CC writers.  I enjoyed the blog so much that I spent a few days reading it in my spare time.

Yesterday, I came home with an overwhelming urge to write...not just to write, but to work on my original story.  It was like an itch that consumed me...I was ready and I was willing.  I brought up Word and then I froze.  I sat there, staring at a blank canvas and chickened out completely.  Was I really not a writer at all?  Was I afraid of committment?  Failure?  The task itself?  Tricking my own mind doesn't work as I tried it.  I attempted to tell myself that this story was just another one for my own pleasure.  No pressure.  Not gonna attempt publication.  Yeah, right.  Like THAT is going to work.

Feeling frustrated, I went to the Girls Write Out blog and clicked on Colleen's website, where I found a link to her email.  There, I asked the question:  The "is fear of starting normal" question.  I had a reply from her in ten minutes, assuring me what I was normal and giving me a link to American Christian Fiction Writers and highly recommending it for budding authors.  I had looked at this site before, but now, I plunged ahead and paid the $40 membership fee for the first year.  This site is a wealth of information. 

I started reading it today, going over various things until again, I became overwhelmed and had to step back for a bit.  There is so much there!  So many resources!  I need to digest it slowly and find my way around.

I need to start this book.