Maybe it's hormones

I always try to play nice.  Maybe too nice.  I was popping around ebay over the weekend and found some bamboo circular needles I wanted.  There was one other bidder, so I placed a bid and almost immediately the other bidder came in with a higher bid.  So, I looked around at the circs and found several other sets from the same seller.  My thoughts were "Well, this chick was here first and there are plenty of others to bid on."  So, I let the other person win and placed a bid on another set, which I won.  As that same seller still had several other auctions, I placed a bid on another set of a different length.  A day later, another buyer came in and bid, beating me, so I raised my bid.  Again, she outbid me...despite the fact that there were several other auctions of the EXACT SAME SET OF NEEDLES.  So, she won that auction while I moved onto another set.  Here she comes again.  Beat my bid once more, so I waited.  I waited until there was one minute and thirty seconds left in the auction and then I placed my highest bid.  She beat me as she had set her limit higher and I was unwilling to go any higher.  She's getting on my last nerve.  (Oh, and in case she's reading this...HI!  Nice to meet'cha!  Stop urinating in my cheerios, please!)

Then today, the kids were off school.  It is way too soon after having them at work with me all summer to have them at work with me again, on a day when I have two meetings scheduled.  Then it is off to "The Walmart" for groceries, where they proceeded to pluck from me the few nerves that greedy bidder lady left behind.  THEN, I watch Dr. Phil and find myself wondering if I have a hormonal imbalance or something. 

I can be the happiest girl in the world some days and then other days, like today, are just horrible.  My fuse is short, and though my kids are just acting like kids (at least I think that is the case) I am convinced that they know mom is just a few fries short of a Happy Meal today and they are using it to their advantage.  They have bickered with each other, argued with me, lied to me, manipulated each other and basically have done as little as possible today to make my life any easier.  I have spent the day reacting like a troll and knowing that I am reacting badly. 

When I find myself getting into these kinds of funks, I start to try to analyze it.  Am I maybe not happy with myself right now and that is what is giving me permission (in my own mind) to act like the dragon lady?  I am trying to get happier with myself.  I've gone back to Curves three times a week and am getting my food intake back under control after the insanity of summer.  Maybe once I progress down this road a bit further, the funkiness in my life with deteriorate. 

I also often think I am affected by weather and seasons.  It has been rainy and ugly out for the last two days.  The days are getting shorter and I know that winter (need I remind y'all that I hate winter?) is right around the corner.  My alone time has also been drastically shortened with Aaron starting middle school.  I leave work at 12:30 to head to Curves for my workout and then get home shortly after 1:00.  Aaron is home by 2:30.  Upon my getting home at 1:00, there are chores to be done; vacuuming, dusting, picking up after men, doing dishes (is there a law that says that the male sex cannot wash a cup or a cereal bowl?) etc.  By the time all of this is accomplished, child number one is home.  Then after the normal "How was your day?" pleasantries, comes the barrage of questions that don't really need to be asked as there is a routine that has been followed for three years now.  The routine is basically: come into house, talk to mom, have snack, do homework.  Easy, right?  But instead what I get is:  Mom, I'm hungry.  Mom, can I have a snack?  Mom, what can I have?  Mom, can I have this?  I don't think any of this would bother me so much if the word "Mom" did not precede every sentence....every single time.  AND even worse than that...after the "mom" that precedes every sentence, there is a beat of silence as the child will not continue his thought until I say "What?" or "Yes, Aaron?"   What is that all about??  Do they outgrow this?  We're the only two people in the house, so it isn't like I don't know who he is talking to! 

So, by the time the homework is finished is Aaron has found himself something else to do, in comes child number two.  Child number two is always full of little tales and tidbits of information about school.  Not a problem.  But once all that is finished, he then proceeds to never have another silent thought.  He voices everything and if he runs out of things to say, he sings.  Loudly.  By the time this child is on his merry way out to play, it is time to start dinner.  Then time to eat.  Then time to do the dishes.  Enough said.

I'm just cranky today.