Taking it out of the Equation

So, I have been worrying and stressing over being well enough to go on the Mission Trip this summer, trying to decide if two months of recovering from surgery would be enough time, trying to find someone willing to commit to going in my place in the event I cannot go etc (with YouthWorks, you have to lock in your number of participants, so if someone backs out, you either have to find a replacement or just lose the money).  As of today, that is no longer going to be an issue.

We had selected our work site for this year two weeks ago and have been waiting for all the teens to give us a definate that they were going.  One of our girls may be scheduled for a surgery that would possibly make her unable to go, but we would not even know for sure if she was having surgery until sometime in February, but we had a replacement in place for her.  So with 9 kids and two chaperones (neither of them me) we had eleven people and our work site still had twenty-five slots available...until today.  Today, there are only ten slots left, and the organization is closed today for the holiday, so I could not call to book our places.  So, after a few phone calls with Paula, we decided to book the ten slots tomorrow and hope for the best.  The one girl's father was fairly certain that she would not be able to go, so though I don't wish surgery on her, what I hope even less is that she can go and we don't have a slot.  But there is always the chance of someone dropping out of either our group or one of the other church groups that has booked that location.

So, this takes me out of the equation altogether.  There is no slot for me at this time, again, unless someone drops out, so though saddened by the fact that I will probably not be going, even if I were recovered enough to go, this forces me to leave my participation up to God.  If my surgery goes picture perfect and my recovery is quick and a slot opens, I'm there, but if not, God is telling me to keep my butt at home.

I'm accepting it.