Sometimes all I can do is pray

I have this irrational need to try to make sure everyone is happy at my church.  We're small, we need everyone, but we aren't always going to get along.  That doesn't make anyone WRONG, it only means that people perceive things differently or react to things differently.  When an issue arises, I rarely see anyone as wrong and I know for myself, it is okay to have a difference of opinion.



We're having some growing pains right now.  We have this amazing new pastor, who I genuinely like.  Fact is though, we have been without a permanent pastor for over three years.  So what does that mean?  That means that we have carried the church.  It means that a handful of people stepped up to the plate and made sure that we survived.  And I think those people did it well.



Now, something that shouldn't have been a big deal, has turned into a big deal.  Where I don't think anyone was WRONG, I also don't think anyone handled it perfectly either, but we can't handle anything perfectly as we are human beings with faults.  We simply do the best we can and hope that is okay, but apparently in this case, it's not okay.



Sometimes it's hard for me to understand because more often than not, I can let things roll off me.  Or, I can take my frustrations to a safe place to vent, gain new perspective, and then I move on, but not everyone can do this.  So, here comes my innate need to make it all okay.  And I tried.  I touched base with wounded parties, I tried to correct other parties who weren't seeing things clearly, as I had been present for part of the problem (on the sidelines thankfully).  I stress over it, I worry. 



But the fact is that all the worrying in the world isn't going to change how anyone feels.  No matter how much I want to be the peacemaker, I can't be that.  I tried.  It's not working.  So, I have to let it go.  I have to let God. 



I can't heal a heart, but He can.  I can't make someone want to forgive, but He can.  I've had to realize that it isn't up to me.  Even when I feel on top of the world, that doesn't mean I can save it.  I simply don't have that kind of power.  It's been a hard thing to let go of, because it is ingrained in me.  But God wants me to let go.



It reminds me of lyrics from a Cheri Keaggy song:



Chorus:

Sweet peace of God come over me

Like a gift from Heaven

Sweet peace of God take hold of me

Before I lose it forever



For I haven't been thinking much about You

And I know I've lived my life in vain if I live without you

Sweet peace of God come over me



Chorus



Jesus you deserve more than I'm giving

For You gave your life so I can find the land of the living

Sweet peace of God come over me



Bridge:

Cause I can't find peace in the ways of the world

And I can't find the love that I'm seeking

So I won't waste my time

I will leave them behind

And run to the One whose been there all the time

Holding on to my life



Chorus



Only You can be the refuge that I need

In the shelter of Your loving arms is where you will find me

Sweet peace of God come over me