Today started out pretty good, got a little weird in the late morning, then returned to good.
Sometimes I just have to accept that I can not be responsible for how someone else feels.� The thing they have to accept is that if they are going to freak out, I am going to shut down.� That's what I do.� I hate conflict and prefer to avoid it at all costs, as I have mentioned before.� Not sure if the bit of crazy from this morning was partially directed at me or not, but I have decided not to deal with it and I certainly didn't deal�with it when it happened.� I just can't.�I don't look.� It's like if I don't see it, it isn't really happening. It's my way of detaching�myself from it. I do it every time there is conflict.� I either shut down, cry or avoid. Today was a combination of shut down and avoid. �If it was in any way directed at me, I am certainly not going to approach the person with it and possibly set myself up for more.� ThanksbutI'llpass and all that. Avoidance works for me!
See, I am pretty much happy-go-lucky.� I don't believe that age means you have to always be no frills or always have to follow rules.� When it comes to the youth group, I am mostly thrilled to bits that most of them come to Sunday school every Sunday.� The teens would prefer to chat for the hour; to catch up on their�week and to share problems.� I don't necessarily see anything wrong with this.� We have done some different lessons and tried some different things, but if they want to talk, I am not going to shut them down.� They are teenagers�and in many ways I think they need a safe place to chat.� I'm not going to be strict with rules.� That's not me.� Actually, I never asked to be a SS teacher...it was kind of dumped by someone else giving it up.� I am not a teacher, but I think we have a good relationship with the teens in the class and I think by far, that is most important thing.
I also kind of get the other side too.� Someone prepared a lesson and the kids wanted to talk and joke a bit as they tend to do.� So it was about 50-50.� Some lesson, some teens being teens.� It did not bother me.� Maybe that makes me wrong.� I don't know.� I tried to help keep them on topic, but I also participated in their side chat.� Maybe this makes me wrong.� I don't know.�
But I do know I'm not dwelling on it.� I am who I am and am not really interested in changing it.� I have enough time in my life that I have to be 100% serious most of the time..when I'm not parenting and not getting paid, that is my time to be me.�Like I said I don't know if anyone is mad at me.� I love all these people dearly, and we are all entitled to a bad day.� I understand, I have them too.� The crazy impacts all of us from time to time.�
Hopefully by next Sunday it will all be blown over.� If not, I only have one more week, then I'll be in England for three weeks.� I'm ready for a break.� Some weeks, six�out of seven days�in the church can make me find my own�crazy.
We took the kids to see Earth this afternoon.� Great film!� Love all the nature stuff.� Amazing filming.� I give it two thumbs up!