Day one

So, today is the first day of this blog for a month thing:
 

I'm not sure what I'm going to yammer on about, but if I'm going to attempt to blog for thirty days, I don't want to blow it on day one!

I made mention of elaborating on a few of my family dynamics in my last post and let me first state in the event that any of my family reads this, that this is my dairy perse.  I call things as I see them and you may disagree, but don't get all offended.  I may not be right, but I have my own views on things and they are my views and my opinions.  Now, maybe I'm a little nuts for putting it out there where some folks might read it and get offended, but I don't really have any interest in censoring my own blog.

My younger brother, John, and I are only three years apart, so we were very close growing up.  We played together, went places together, hung out together well into our early teens.  John met his future wife when he was 16...and she was either 20 or 21 and married.  Imagine the tailspin that threw my parents into!  But, John got older, she divorced her husband and stayed with John (though they didn't get married until they had lived together like 8 or 10 years).  She makes him happy and I can respect that.  However, from my view, she also controls him to a certain extent.  She doesn't seem to be real family oriented when it comes to my family, unless the family members are the ones she finds "acceptable" for them to hang out with.  Again, fine.  She and John have different values than what I have.  Though to the best of my knowledge, they are Christians, they don't go to church (or they go VERY rarely).  They tend to spend time in bars or drinking socially at home.  I have nothing against drinking, it just isn't my thing but on very rare occasion and a beer or two is enough to make me feel loopy. 

A few of my siblings are very close to John and his wife to the point where they vacation together or travel to see each other, etc.  What surprises me is that I have never thought of myself as a black sheep of the family, but maybe I am.  I don't think John's wife finds me "acceptable" and they have more to do with their friend's son, than with either of our boys.  The Brit and I have an open door policy at our home; if you're in the neighborhood, please feel free to drop by.  Not so with this couple.  It is by invitation only and the invites are pretty rare (please keep in mind that out of all my siblings, John lives the closest at about 15 minutes from my house.  The next closest one is two hours away).  They have an in-ground pool and we have not had an invite in two years, just to give an example. 

I suppose it is safe to say that we don't extend too many invitations their way either, but again, this stems from that feeling like a black sheep thing.  When we are never invited out there for any reason (unless there is family in from out of state or country in the example of the Brit's parents) one cannot help but get the feeling that one is not found acceptable.  I am not the only sibling in my family that they don't seem to find "acceptable" either; there are three of us and we all know who we are.

But I can live with all that.  It hurts at times in that way that hurts in knowing you were once very close to someone and suddenly you aren't anymore with no real explaination.  As a Christian, I worry about them.  John had a health scare last summer and I firmly believe that God was trying to get their attention and HE did for a little bit.  But once the scare was over, things pretty much went back to the way they were.  That scares me a little as I don't think God is finished getting their attention yet.  I also worry that they shut themselves off from too many people and heaven forbid if something happens to one of them. 

I know that the Brit and I are good people; we just aren't their kind of people.  Now whether this stems from what we prefer to do socially or the fact that we have kids and they didn't want any, I don't know.  But I somehow think we missed the boat in my family on celebrating differences and I'll put myself as at fault as everyone else.  When people feel like they aren't completely accepted in their own family, it hurts.  The lack of acceptance may not even feel noticiable to those doing it, but it is there nontheless.  (like when an invitation to your place is overshadowed by an invitation from them or just by little comments being made in the midst of a family reunion).  Ouch.

But I continue to pray for this couple that they at least find a relationship with God, if not with me and in the meantime.....Baaaaaah.