I am astounding myself today with how calm I am. (Will a storm follow today's pleasant weather? News at 11:00). I slept last night, which always helps, and woke up today with things to do and I actually felt rested to do them.
I got my time. We will be departing from our place at 7:00am tomorrow to drive to Baltimore in rush hour, to be at Hopkins by 9:35am. My surgery is scheduled for 11:30am. I was so afraid I'd have to be there at some stupid hour of the morning, so this came as a relief, not only to me and to those going with me, but also to Paula, who will be here to get child #2 off to school.
Now, for all the odd stuff that has been running through my head. Yesterday, I was thinking to myself, "Self, it would be nice to have a little quote for tomorrow's post." Self agreed and this popped into my head:
"Take a deep breath and hold it right before we go into the water. The ship will suck us down. Kick for the surface and keep kicking. Don't let go of my hand. We're gonna make it, Rose. Trust me."
Nothing like a little Titanic quote to get the gastric bypass party rolling, eh? But parts of it are sort of true, I think.
"Take a deep breath" Yeah, absolutely. Take a deep breath, calm down and I will soon be on the other side of this thing that has taken nine months to materialize.
"Kick for the surface and keep kicking" There are going to be some tough moments early on in this new life, of that I am certain. What I have to remember is that those tough times are going to exist and that they are just that: times. They are not going to last forever and I just have to keep plugging ahead until I reach the surface where things are comfortable and now habit.
"Don't let go of my hand" This one is a twofer. I hear God saying it to me in one ear, reminding me that he will never leave me, no matter what happens or how rough the waters may become at times. He's there, He's constant, He loves me at least as much as the person who loves me the most. What have I to fear? The other part of that quote for me is to all those who love me. I may feel lost at times early on, so don't let me go. I'm learning how to swim a whole new way and it's going to take time at times be confusing for me. But I know ya'll are gonna be there.
"We're gonna make it" Yup, gonna make it. 'nuff said.
Yesterday during Sunday School, PK, who is sixteen and a freakin' riot, got stressed out about something and she started making these funny little noises, much like a tea kettle that is so close to whistling but not quite ready yet. I looked at her thinking, "She's going to explode." Everything about her signaled that to me, but when the explosion finally happened, it manifested itself in one very loud word:
I howled with laughter and the next thing I knew, she was telling everyone to do it (yes, we're an odd bunch, but stay with me here). When my turn came, I brought all the stress and lack of sleep and worry and everything else about this surgery to the forefront of my mind. I felt it welling up within my chest, much like it has been doing the last few days until I could again swallow it down, but this time, I didn't have to swallow it. What I did was:
Holy crap, that felt good! It relieved all the stress for the moment and allowed it to flow out of my body in that single word. I'm telling ya'll, try it. If there was a way to market that, it would be HUGE! So, if I "BAH!" any of you in the near future, it is just me relieving the stress ball. Thank you, PK, for that prescription!
So, there you have it. Tomorrow is the big day and by this time tomorrow, it will all be over. Those of you that pray, please keep me in them. They mean more than you know and they have such amazing healing power.
I'm ready to do this thing (and I will repeat that to myself a kabillion times tomorrow morning when I'm sure the nerves will kick in). I love you all and will see you on the other side. Check here tomorrow night for an update on how things went, as Laura of Stratcat fame will be blogging for me. You are all amazing and wonderful.
Now, let's get this party started!