So today has started much in the way that yesterday ended; with constant bickering amongst the kids.
Nothing annoys me more than yelling, complaining and tattling, all occurring at the same time. What makes it even worse? When dad is home it barely happens.
Last night started to go bad after an hour of them playing the Wii. The eldest son likes to be in charge of the Wii which translates into "taking over and deciding when it suits him for little brother to play." This leads to tattling on little brother's part and refereeing on my part. Then when little brother see an opportunity to take over, ie, when big brother leaves the room, big brother comes back and says nasty things and throws remotes because he isn't getting his way...and yes, this child is 13.
Last night, I finally couldn't take anymore of it and sent them both to their rooms. I told them they could stay up late but not together. This causes another problem, because little brother has a television in his room (no cable but DVDS) and the reason he has the television is that he has huge closets in which to keep it. The original plan at the start of the evening before it all went bad, was that they could play the Wii till 9:30 and at 9:30 they had to go upstairs to watch DVDs and not be seen nor heard from again by me until morning. Then with the two hours worth of fighting, I separated them, so little brother went into his room to watch Knight Rider DVDs....and big brother decided to try to sneak into his room as since the Wii was now gone, watching movies with little brother would suit him just fine. But I rained on his parade, telling him that if they can't get along down here, they aren't being together upstairs.
The night finally got quiet and when I went to bed, after talking to The Brit during his layover in LA, they were both asleep.
Surprisingly, they let me sleep in this morning but I kid you not, as soon as my feet hit the hallway floor on the way to the bathroom, the shouting from downstairs began. They now had an audience, I guess, and though they could live in harmony while mom was asleep, now that she was up, all harmony was cast aside. The way the night with the two of them ends is not the way the day with them needs to begin. So, I immediately put them back in their separate rooms, which is where they are now. They both tried to tell me what the other had done, but I refused to hear it. The "audience" was not going to play the game.
So what to do? Is there another tactic I should try with them? This is all a boundary pushing thing with mom because dad is away, I'm sure of that and a movie tomorrow hangs in the balance as I had told them yesterday afternoon that if they were good on the weekend, we would go to the movies on Sunday (that is also a treat for mom because they don't fight in a theater).
It's not looking good for the movie....
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Going South
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How weird! They get along fine when they're alone, and they get along fine when The Brit is home, and then they put on this little show for you? Knowing it drives you bananas? Makes no sense to me. I've got zero experience with kids, so I'm totally perplexed.
ReplyDeleteFirst, Knight Rider for the win!! I love that show. I have all four seasons on DVD, and watch the new episodes online (not as good as the old, and not for kids, but still, KR)
ReplyDeletesecond, this feels like a walk down memory lane. The kids I nannied for fought all the time over electronic equipment. The only thing that worked was giving them each a set time on the computer/wii/whatever. Child 1 got 15 minutes (or whatever), then it was Child 2's turn for 15 minutes, then Child's 3 turn for the same time, then back to Child 1. If it was fair and equitable, they seemed to accept it for the most part. That, and the threat that if they didn't, they wouldn't play it at ALL. Sometimes, I even used a kitchen timer.
The problem, of course, is that siblings, in spite of their fighting, like to play together, even when they want to beat up the other one at the same time. It's the paradox of the ages. I swear. My brother and I were like that, and all the kids I've ever nannied for have been that way. You separate them for fighting, and in two minutes, they've made peace with each other and want to play again (and DON'T want to play alone), but five minutes later, they're back to beating each other up. It's like they have short-term memory loss or something. "We won't fight again, we promise! Please can we come out of our rooms?" Anyway....
If they don't act out with your husband, would it help if he spoke to them on the phone and told them that if they misbehaved while he was away, there would be consequences when he returned?
Or maybe the older child can be offered an incentive to behave, like staying up later and having the wii all to himself for 30 minutes or so.
Or you can just take away every single piece of electronic equipment in the house that they use for an entire day, and tell them that if they can keep from fighting that day, you'll have it brought back (have a friend come get it...something dramatic like that where they see people actually taking it out of the house... tv, wii, computer, everything), but if not, it doesn't come back until your husband comes home. Be really drastic and scare the living daylights out of them. They'll know you mean business.
I say stay strong... once they realize that they can't get away with crap while the Brit is gone... they'll figure it out.
ReplyDeleteIt stinks for you, but keep the boundaries firm...and it'll make the remaining days get better once they figure out that you're not giving in to their crazy antics.