Friday, January 23, 2009

If It Makes You Happy


So if you haven't known me very long or you only know me from blog reading, you probably don't know my rather uprooted childhood.

Both of my parents were from Maryland; dad from Baltimore and mom from Hagerstown and when they met, my mother was married to an abusive man.  So when my parents fell in love (I'm sure this is a much more involved story, but I was not yet born and I'm getting to a point here) I don't know if they elected to just move as far away from this man as they could or what, but they moved across the country, to Southern California, to a little town called Monrovia.  I was born in Covina hospital, which if memory serves, is not all that far from Monrovia. 

From there, the movie "The Stolins need a home" could have been born.  I think we moved back to Maryland at some point in my very early childhood and then back west again, where I started private school eventually at First Lutheran School.  For the next several years, things were stable for me and as most children do, I made friends. 

A few of these friends have very much stuck out in my mind over the years:  Renee, a pretty little girl who just a nice kid, Gina, my funniest friend, Brian, my very first crush in kindergarten and Karen, my very first friend.  We grew up together in our early years.  Renee's mother, my mother and Brian's mother, all worked in the school cafeteria, so they were all friends.  My parents used to drink beer and play cards with Karen's parents while we kids played somewhere.  Brian's family lived down the street from us and when my father's mother died, my brother and I stayed with Brian's family while my parents flew back to Maryland for the arrangements.  I remember having sleepovers at Renee's and Gina's houses.  I remember Renee's cat, Sheba, getting attacked by a blue jay and almost dying. I remember a fire at her house.  I remember that Gina was the biggest Steve Garvey fan (LA Dodger's baseball player in the seventies) I had ever known.  I remember chasing Brian around the playground at recess while he had a blanket tied around his shoulders, pretending to be Superman or Underdog, I forget exactly.  I could ride my bicycle to any of their houses, because our little town was safe.

These were my childhood friends.  These were the kids I sat on the playground with my cassette recorder and blank tapes and we imitated the commercials of our time, taping ourselves (and I still have this somewhere and have got to find it!). 

I forget how old I was; maybe 5th grade, maybe 4th, when my parents decided they wanted to move back to Maryland.  Some of my mom's kids were still there and her brother and mother were still alive and living in Hagerstown.  So our house went up on the market and we were soon packing up a moving van and a Winnebago to leave California.  Before we left, and this is a very sketchy memory, Renee, Gina and I think, Karen, all gave me a little gift.  I remember a ring being one of the presents but the rest I forget right now and I can't even remember who gave me the ring...and I think there was a leather bracelet (from Gina?). I think the items came straight out of their bedrooms, because none of us had jobs of course.  But I remember being both touched and heartbroken at leaving them.

We moved back to Maryland and bought a home and I kid you not, we lived there six months before my parents decided they wanted to move back to California.  They had placed me in a Catholic school because I guess they thought I was used to private school, but I was sure I was really in hell.  Catholics were nothing like my Lutheran peeps!  So, out of school we came, the house went on the market, and well, you know the drill by now; back to the other coast.

Picking up pieces of friendships can be hard because though we have moved away, life went on for my friends.  I no longer lived conveniently up the street from Brian.  I think I was able to rekindle my friendships with Renee and Gina (these memories are really sketchy as this was a long time ago) much to my glee.  We did baseball games and played tennis at the high school that I now lived across the street from.  We were now attending a different Lutheran School called Light and Life and I maintained old friendships and made new ones as well.

I forget how long we stayed that time; maybe a year, maybe less, but again, we packed up and moved back to Maryland where we stayed.  Goodbyes to this day are so hard for me, I think because of my childhood.  It was hard to get attached and I'm sure my California friends and their families had to think my parents were nuts.  But I never forgot the West coast friends and I re-connected with Renee and Gina briefly after I Googled Renee's name and found a website.  But emails are hard to keep throwing back and forth with lives being busy and soon we lost touch again.

Until Facebook.  On Facebook, I have reconnected with Gina, Renee and Brian.  Messages and kidnap requests are sent back and forth between us and the other night when Renee had set up a game of Wordscraper for the four of us, you know what?  I almost cried.  I was just so delightfully happy.  I felt like the childhood games I had been denied playing with them, due to being nomads, were now being played.  Gina sent me a message last night saying she sometimes travels to DC for her job and the next time she would like to hook up.  Finding Brian again for the first time was just so cool and I'm still looking for Karen as I haven't found her yet.

So there is some history on me and on the sheer joy I have found in the last few weeks with having the oldest friends I know in my life again.  It truly feels as if I am reliving a magical time that was cut too short a very long time ago and I am so incredibly thankful.



1 comment:

  1. Wow Kim - that's amazing... NO wonder you're addicted to Facebook! :-) All of my current church friends are on there - so that's my excuse... plus some cousins that I haven't been really close to. So it's very cool to reconnect on FB.

    You are such an amazing person - I moved a lot as a kid as well, and I barely remember any friends names from back then!

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