Customs

Funeral customs in England are pretty different from America's in several ways.  First there are the flowers.  You don't have a vase of flowers sent to the funeral home.  It is either a spray or a wreath period.  The flowers here however are gorgeous (in fact a goal when I get home is to map out a place for my new flower garden out back).

A car from the funeral home and the hearse arrive at the house to pick up the immediate family.  The flowers are not at the church, but in the hearse on top of and surrounding the coffin.  Unlike our hearses, the windows of those in England are see through, so while following in the car to the church, the family has a clear view of the casket and the flowers in the church.  The funeral director, due to some of the narrow streets in the country, at times walks ahead of the hearse to make sure the way is clear.  Where in America, cars yield to a funeral procession, here they do no such thing, which I find sad, especially considering we are talking about two vehicles. 

Once arriving at the church, the pall bearers, which are not friends, but employees of the funeral home, carry the casket into the church and the immediate family walks behind it.  The family files into the first row while the casket is placed up front with only the flower spray that was made for the casket itself. 

The service is pretty standard, as directed by the family members.  We sang a lovely song called "Lord of the Dance." which is a Christian camp song (my in-laws were both heavy into scouting years ago).  Check out the lyrics and find a version to listen to if you get the chance.  I loved it.

From there, the Vicar gave a ten minute biography of mum's life, and that was followed by the two readings, mine being one of them.  Then there was a brief sermon, closing hymn (Kum Bah Yah) and then the blessing.  From there the family follows the casket and the pall bearers back out to the hearse and car and it is off to the crematorium.  We arrive there for another VERY brief service.  Again, the family follows the casket into the chapel and it is placed up on a platform (for lack of a better description, it looks a bit like a rounded, carpeted stage, complete with an open curtain around it).  The Vicar gives a very brief reading, and just before he is finished, he says "Just to warn you, the curtain will be closing shortly."  Sure enough, with his last few words, the curtain mechanically closes around the casket, symbolizing the end of the service and of the funeral journey.  I found that part a bit wretched, but it is the custom.

We went to pub for a catered meal and as is also the custom, many drank and there was laughter and discussion about mum's life.  When we left there, a handful of close friends and family came back to the house where we spent the rest of the afternoon and early evening.

Tomorrow, we'll be picking up the ashes and taking them someplace to scatter.

All in all, a hard day, but yet not a completely unpleasant one.  Having friends, family and memories so close helped there to be much laughter, even if at times through tears.